jordanr1994 Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 so my ex girlfriend who dumped me, text me last night, she was drunk The first one was a simple " I MISS YOU" the second was "and kebabs ae better with you too. because now i have to eat a whole one alone and will be fat" the third was "now i am a whale" Last one " youre one of those once in a long lifetime people, who dont care if you are fat and grumpy, which i am and im sorry we ****ed it up." saw her today and she was hugging me and telling me how muhc she misses me. and asking me not to leave. I had to go because i was busy. But she is still seeing this other guy JUst give her space?
Jay77098 Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 She's fishing. Don't bite. Don't reply. If she is serious about getting back together, and you want that, then make her work for it. Not seeing the other guy would be a good start. Do you really want to step back into that situation? Do you want to be wondering if she's out with him on the nights you aren't together? 1
Author jordanr1994 Posted April 14, 2014 Author Posted April 14, 2014 I know i need to do no contact and i have been. When i saw her yesterday she kept hugging me, and everytime she wouldnt let me go and would start to cry We had such a laugh for 45 minutes and it felt so good. Obviously it would be considering we were each others lives for 2.5 years. She kept askingme to stay longer and come back again But ive told er again that i cant do that while the other guy is in the picture. He is the complete opposite to me and she even said she needs to be with someone who is the opposite of me so she can see whats she is missing not being with me. Just going to go back to no contact and stop letting her to get my hopes up. she needs to sort her life out
Riou Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Sounds hilarious,you should have replied:"omg you're like a whale now?"
Lalasita Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Breadcrumbs, next time ignore them and don't let her to hug you and things like that. She wants to know that you're still available, you're just like a nice soft mattress for her to fell on in case of things dont end well with her bf.
nutcheesy Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 THE EXACT thing is happening to me right now! She hugged me and text me and kept crying. But she can't make up her mind and is confuse to hurt both of us. It's hurt me so much to know she care for someone else when they only knew each other for a few months. I want to go NC but it is so hard and wouldn't that give the third party an edge?! Because the third party is there for her and you? Would NC be the right way to go..? Or I fight back for her love.
David87 Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 THE EXACT thing is happening to me right now! She hugged me and text me and kept crying. But she can't make up her mind and is confuse to hurt both of us. It's hurt me so much to know she care for someone else when they only knew each other for a few months. I want to go NC but it is so hard and wouldn't that give the third party an edge?! Because the third party is there for her and you? Would NC be the right way to go..? Or I fight back for her love. Why don't you help the pour girl to make up her mind by puling a Houdini magic trick on her and disappeare from the face of the earth. Never accept being an option for someone NEVER. Fight for your love when you are in the relationship not when the relationship is over.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 THE EXACT thing is happening to me right now! She hugged me and text me and kept crying. But she can't make up her mind and is confuse to hurt both of us. It's hurt me so much to know she care for someone else when they only knew each other for a few months. I want to go NC but it is so hard and wouldn't that give the third party an edge?! Because the third party is there for her and you? Would NC be the right way to go..? Or I fight back for her love. I want to shake the s--t out of any dumpee that uses the term "fight for his/her love". If you are dumped, you aren't the one that's supposed to fight. And no, you disappearing wouldn't give the other guy the edge. You sitting there being a weakling safety net is doing that. 1
lauri Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 I want to shake the s--t out of any dumpee that uses the term "fight for his/her love". If you are dumped, you aren't the one that's supposed to fight. And no, you disappearing wouldn't give the other guy the edge. You sitting there being a weakling safety net is doing that. Agree with this. You gain an edge by moving on and not caring about it. Seriously, if you are sitting around and waiting for her what good will it do? Girls cannot stand weak guys...and by weak I mean not able to control themselves and don't have the strength to move on from them. Remember...she said this to you when she was "drunk" and she is still with another guy...sounds like she is just trying to make sure you are there as a backup option. P.S. That whole whale thing was hilarious...let her become a "whale" as punishment for hurting you lol. Not your problem.
nutcheesy Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Why don't you help the pour girl to make up her mind by puling a Houdini magic trick on her and disappeare from the face of the earth. Never accept being an option for someone NEVER. Fight for your love when you are in the relationship not when the relationship is over. You are right. I should never be an option.. I will start the NC. Thanks guys!
Author jordanr1994 Posted April 14, 2014 Author Posted April 14, 2014 Im not going to wait around. i want to start dating again. I dont deserve to be second best or to get drunk texts Just it drives you crazy trying to figure out what is going on in their heads!
Simon Phoenix Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Im not going to wait around. i want to start dating again. I dont deserve to be second best or to get drunk texts Just it drives you crazy trying to figure out what is going on in their heads! Then stop doing it. Trying to figure out what another person is thinking is one of the biggest wastes of time on the planet. If it's relevant and important to you, they'll tell you what they are thinking. 1
Mr.White Posted April 15, 2014 Posted April 15, 2014 You remind me of myself after my first break up. PATHETIC!!! Stick with NC, go hang out with your friends (your single friends to go out with and your tied down friends to vent to), hit the gym, study, and become a reliable hard worker at your job. Yet if you were like me you would follow this advice for a week or two until she "misses" you again.
Author jordanr1994 Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 i feel sorry for the other guy! she just said she really really really wants to be with me but she just wont be good for us right now and we need more time apart, which i agree with. She also said she thinks he is a rebound as she thinks she is using him to get over her feelings for me! The horrible thing is he is coming to visit her a week today to meet her family etc! and she isnt sure its a good idea. She wont tell the other guy she still loves me, only that she still cares for me One confused women right there! best to stay away. Going back to no contact, found the 4 weeks of no contact challenging, but easy towards the end. Whats a few more weeks or months NC till she comes running back Any body want a guess how long? lol Could be at the end of next week if the week with her new guy doesnt go well haha
Timpye Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Out of interest were you in NC with her? If so for how long?
lauri Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 (edited) i feel sorry for the other guy! she just said she really really really wants to be with me but she just wont be good for us right now and we need more time apart, which i agree with. She also said she thinks he is a rebound as she thinks she is using him to get over her feelings for me! The horrible thing is he is coming to visit her a week today to meet her family etc! and she isnt sure its a good idea. She wont tell the other guy she still loves me, only that she still cares for me One confused women right there! best to stay away. Going back to no contact, found the 4 weeks of no contact challenging, but easy towards the end. Whats a few more weeks or months NC till she comes running back Any body want a guess how long? lol Could be at the end of next week if the week with her new guy doesnt go well haha This isn't no contact if you are responding to her. Dude, how does what she said make any sense?? This is biggest load of BS I have ever read. This girl is stringing you along like crazyyy....are you serious that you believe her??? She is just making sure you are there....even if she did come running back you don't want to be with someone so emotionally unstable. I love it when girls say they want to be with you but can't right now...what the hell??? If I wanted to be with someone I WOULD NO MATTER WHAT! BTW, even if she does come back, it won't last. She is just going to keep you around till she finds someone else...she has to come on her knees begging to fix things...but you need to be fully over it so you can make a clear sound decision. Edited April 16, 2014 by lauri 2
KaliLove Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 i feel sorry for the other guy! she just said she really really really wants to be with me but she just wont be good for us right now and we need more time apart, which i agree with. She also said she thinks he is a rebound as she thinks she is using him to get over her feelings for me! The horrible thing is he is coming to visit her a week today to meet her family etc! and she isnt sure its a good idea. She wont tell the other guy she still loves me, only that she still cares for me One confused women right there! best to stay away. Going back to no contact, found the 4 weeks of no contact challenging, but easy towards the end. Whats a few more weeks or months NC till she comes running back Any body want a guess how long? lol Could be at the end of next week if the week with her new guy doesnt go well haha Are you cool with the fact that she's rolling around in bed with another guy while you wait around for her? Because if so..wow... 2
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 i feel sorry for the other guy! she just said she really really really wants to be with me but she just wont be good for us right now and we need more time apart, which i agree with. She also said she thinks he is a rebound as she thinks she is using him to get over her feelings for me! The horrible thing is he is coming to visit her a week today to meet her family etc! and she isnt sure its a good idea. She wont tell the other guy she still loves me, only that she still cares for me One confused women right there! best to stay away. Going back to no contact, found the 4 weeks of no contact challenging, but easy towards the end. Whats a few more weeks or months NC till she comes running back Any body want a guess how long? lol Could be at the end of next week if the week with her new guy doesnt go well haha Hahahaha the balls on this chick. "Ohhhhh I love you so much but this new guy is in the way. I want to be with you, but he is here. *sigh*...he is coming over to meet my parents (which I agreed to), but darn, I dont want that. I'm in such a pickle" Not too far off. If she really loved you, she'd be with you. The long and short of it. Also, you're not anywhere near no contact.Talking to them is the exaxt opposite lol She is playing you like a Nintendo....and you're playing into it. 2
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Ok, veterans, old-hands and experienced members of the site: Just how DO we go about head-slapping these who persist in 'insisting' they're in No Contact, when in actual fact, they're in the habitual process of letting their ex trample all over them - and then ask "what does this mean? Does s/he still want me? I'm confused!" Jeesh dumpees - Read - The - GUIDE!! 2
Author jordanr1994 Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 i was in no contact for 4 weeks previous. she then initiated contact every single time. I havent replied every time, just occasionaly for the past 2 weeks. Back to no contact i go 1
Lifegoezon Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 i was in no contact for 4 weeks previous. she then initiated contact every single time. I havent replied every time, just occasionaly for the past 2 weeks. Back to no contact i go And now you're back to day one. Not a moment too soon. Don't respond to her nonsense again!
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 i was in no contact for 4 weeks previous. she then initiated contact every single time. I havent replied every time, just occasionaly for the past 2 weeks. STARTING no contact I fixed it for you in bold. You were talking to her. THAT'S NOT DOING NO CONTACT. Dont email, text, call, check social media, leave gifts, talk to her friends to get the lowdown...NOTHING. Move on from this. She cares about her. You should care about you.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Ok, veterans, old-hands and experienced members of the site: Just how DO we go about head-slapping these who persist in 'insisting' they're in No Contact, when in actual fact, they're in the habitual process of letting their ex trample all over them - and then ask "what does this mean? Does s/he still want me? I'm confused!" Jeesh dumpees - Read - The - GUIDE!! I seriously don't understand how No Contact is confused by these people. It's a simple concept -- no contact. No gray area. 1
lauri Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Your biggest mistake is trying to use no contact as a tool to try to “get back your ex”. NC is a tool to help you regain control of your emotions and to think straight. You cannot actually believe that your ex wants you back – all the signs are there that she is just keeping you around to help herself get over you while she is sleeping with another guy. You need to MAN up and cut her off. Let her know that is NOT okay to end it with you and you are not AVAILABLE to sit around and be there for HER. It is all about YOU now and you need to snap out of this. I am hoping you have a lot more self respect for yourself – you need to realize she is with ANOTHER GUY…another guy that is meeting her PARENTS because they are getting serious. She is only thinking about you because you weren’t available – what do you think will happen once you are back in the picture? She will lose any interest she had in you and realize she “made the right choice” because you will still be weak, will still make the same mistakes and you will not be ANY different.
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