soulforge2013 Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Long Story Short i have been seeing this woman for 2 months, but now starting to develop some feelings for her... my gut is trying to warn me, that i am taking a risk with this girl & i am finding it hard to trust her. would i be stupid to ignore my gut????? I met this woman on plenty of fish dating site... i spoke to her for about 15 minutes & within 2 hours of talking to her online she drove down straight to my house. she came straight to my house, late at around 11pm & did not meet me in a bar or pub or anywhere public This woman claims to be a good girl with morals yet i have listed some things below that are worrying me 01) Her best friend sleeps around with a lot of men off dating sites (pof) 02) She had sex with me within 2 hours of meeting me 03) She came straight to my house at 11pm, no bar meet or public meet 04) She bought some lube & a DILDO with her on the first date (this suggests she was coming over & was probably expecting to have sex) 05) She is a bit shady with her mobile phone & keeps it on silent around me 06) She told me, that she used to drive for a drug dealer 07) It takes her ages to reply back to my text messages & her behaviour seems shady 08) She is a single mother with 3 kids 09) She met another guy before me off a dating site & she went straight to his house too, just like she did with me... but she claims not to have had sex with this guy 10) She told me, this guy had just recently texted her wanting to meet up, but she claims to have said no to him.. maybe he is a back up plan 11) She has shown some interested in taking part in a 3sum or a 4sum 12) She never rings me, and i don't ring her... all our communication is by text message 13) We only meet once a week the thing is, when she is with me, she is quite nice & buys me gifts & seems quite caring... so i'm not sure what to do... i really don't think i should trust her tho?? am i taking a big risk here?????? Link to post Share on other sites
wwwwww Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 You need to think with the bigger head bud. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
STM206 Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 The fact that she hopped in bed after 2 hours is a red flag alone. To me, it sounds like she's unsure of what she actually wants and may be utilizing POF as a sex hook up site as opposed to finding a relationship. I'd be wary of her and perhaps turn everything down a few notches. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 The fact you are even asking us should speak volumes to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 soulforge2013, She had sex with me within 2 hours of meeting me She came straight to my house at 11pm, no bar meet or public meet She bought some lube & a DILDO with her on the first date Have you been tested for STDs ? She told me, that she used to drive for a drug dealer And probably still does. She never rings me, and i don't ring her... all our communication is by text message Big red flag. she is quite nice & buys me gifts & seems quite caring... If she's a single mum with 3 kids ask yourself where is the money for these presents comes from ? Maybe she's softening you up to be a drug mule. We only meet once a week Maybe the other 6 nights she's turning tricks for her drug-dealing pimp? am i taking a big risk here?????? Does General Motors want to sell cars? RUN !! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soulforge2013 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 i have no proof that she is still talking to that drug dealer... she told me, one of her other boy friends was also a cocaine dealer this suggests to me, maybe she is attracted to this types of guys... we never talk on the phone also, so taking into consideration everything & the impression she has given about herself to me... i don't think i could possibly trust this girl in a long term relationship Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 i have no proof that she is still talking to that drug dealer... she told me, one of her other boy friends was also a cocaine dealer this suggests to me, maybe she is attracted to this types of guys... we never talk on the phone also, so taking into consideration everything & the impression she has given about herself to me... i don't think i could possibly trust this girl in a long term relationship Seriously man....this girl is most likely going to get you into trouble. I would end it before you get too involved and start dating other girls. Almost nothing you mentioned sound positive... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soulforge2013 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 thing is i have some feelings for her... this is what worries me... something in my gut is telling me not to trust her... too many red flags!!! yet finding it hard, to end it with her... i know i need to do it. should i listen to my gut???? or am i acting paranoid Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Hey! Does she have a sister? Gotta tell you that you got a winner here! Ignore your Gut? Your gut should be twisting and turning like the worse case of cramps you can think of. If a women shows up at your house with a tube of KY in one hand and a dildo in the other and drives for a dealer, plus all other things on the list you mentioned, you don't need us to tell you the right thing friend. If you have sex with her you better make sure that you get checked for STD PDQ. Also check to see if she hasn't walked off with your TV or Fridge. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 thing is i have some feelings for her... this is what worries me... something in my gut is telling me not to trust her... too many red flags!!! yet finding it hard, to end it with her... i know i need to do it. should i listen to my gut???? or am i acting paranoid Listen to your gut. RUN, don't walk, away from this girl immediately. Before you develop even stronger feelings. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Chances are you can find a girl WITHOUT all this baggage!!! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 (edited) Are you that desperate? There are credible and appealing women out there...maybe not on POF though. Unless you are looking to get laid for free, stay on POF. Always listen to your intuition. If you are looking for just anybody, no criteria in mind, I might have someone for you. Compared to the girl you're dating now, this woman would look like an angel! Edited April 13, 2014 by Tressugar 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soulforge2013 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 i am not desperate & i only just started to use pof i'm 37 years old, nearly 38 and really don't want to make the mistake of settling down with wrong girl i know sometimes it does happen, people do end up sleeping with each other on the first date... but this one bought lube & a dildo with her on first date, so she was expecting to have sex as far as i'm concerned also one of her close friends is meeting and sleeping with guys on the first date, from dating sites who is to say, this girl has not been doing the same.. she claims she has not, but with friends like that, who knows what her true character is the fact is i don't trust her because she has shown so many negative sides to her character... she has said & done things that have got alarm bells ringing! Link to post Share on other sites
redbaron005 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 If she's a single mum with 3 kids ask yourself where is the money for these presents comes from ? Maybe she's softening you up to be a drug mule. RUN !! ^Yea this. Do not be a knight in shinning armor, you need to get out of there asap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soulforge2013 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 ^Yea this. Do not be a knight in shinning armor, you need to get out of there asap. to be honest i,m not too bothered about the dealer she was running with... according to her, she was not intimate with this guy & it was nearly 2 years ago.. wether she still sees him or doesn't, i cannot prove plus i,m not that silly, and know better not to get involved with drugs... it's the other things about her, that have created a major doubt in me! it's boils down to the fact, that i do not trust her... and it is her who has planted these seeds of mistrust in my head a relationship without trust is already doomed.. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 to be honest i,m not too bothered about the dealer she was running with... ACCORDING TO HER, she was not intimate with this guy & it was nearly 2 years ago.. wether she still sees him or doesn't, i cannot prove plus i,m not that silly, and know better not to get involved with drugs... it's the other things about her, that have created a major doubt in me! it's boils down to the fact, that i do not trust her... and it is her who has planted these seeds of mistrust in my head a relationship without trust is already doomed.. Not sure why you would believe ANYTHING this woman has told you. It's nice to give people the benefit of doubt, but come on! She 'had sex with you' at your place, two hours after she got there. I have to ask, why did you go through with it? The two of you had sex, unless you were raped. She did the same with another guy, went straight to his house, but you are willing to believe she didn't have sex with him? What's missing in your life that you even think this is acceptable? Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 (edited) I met this woman on plenty of fish dating site... i spoke to her for about 15 minutes & within 2 hours of talking to her online she drove down straight to my house. she came straight to my house, late at around 11pm & did not meet me in a bar or pub or anywhere public This woman claims to be a good girl with morals yet i have listed some things below that are worrying me... 02) She had sex with me within 2 hours of meeting me 03) She came straight to my house at 11pm, no bar meet or public meet Hey, guess what, you had sex with her within 2 hours of meeting her too. You met her at your house, no bar meet or public meet. I'll bet you claim to have good morals too. There's plenty of questionable stuff about her, but you're an equal participant in some of it. It's like having a one night stand with someone, then lambasting them for their poor morals for having had a one night stand. It's hypocritical, unless you turn the same harsh eye on yourself. Edited April 13, 2014 by lollipopspot 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie Harper Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 If it walk like a duck Quacks like a duck craps like a Duck... it must be a.......? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soulforge2013 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 Not sure why you would believe ANYTHING this woman has told you. It's nice to give people the benefit of doubt, but come on! She 'had sex with you' at your place, two hours after she got there. I have to ask, why did you go through with it? The two of you had sex, unless you were raped. She did the same with another guy, went straight to his house, but you are willing to believe she didn't have sex with him? What's missing in your life that you even think this is acceptable? this is true... but i did offer her to meet at the pub near me, but because it was late & the pub closes early, she said she was happy to come straight to my place! i just wasn't expecting her to bring lubricant & and a dildo with her... she had them in her handbag... also when i found out her best mate is also meeting guys off the dating site and sleeping with them on first date, this then made me think she could had been doing this on a regular basis.. if her friends are doing this, then who is to say she isn't then when she mentioned meeting another guy before me AT HIS HOUSE too, this then confirmed suspicions but she denies sleeping with the last guy she met, at his house... overall just too many red flags Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 If you are looking for anything besides getting your d--k wet with this woman, you are doing it wrong. And if you aren't using every sort of protection possible you are doing it wrong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hoosfoos Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 I got involved with someone like this 4 years ago and it almost ended up destroying me. Like you, I chose to look at the good qualities in her and conveniently ignored all the red flags. The red flags were what ended up biting me in the ass and the experience ended up being the worst thing that ever happened to me. Run, don't walk away, and don't look back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
InnocentMan Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 It's not often you meet a great woman like this, but she's got 3 kids. Chalk it up to experience, and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soulforge2013 Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 guys i ended it with her...i must admit i feel somewhat upset.. i did like her, but there are waaaay too many red flags... i would be always doubting her intentions & not trusting her at all have i done the right thing guys??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soulforge2013 Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 i'm feeling pretty rotten today i did used to enjoy her company, and she was nice when she was here, but the trust and red flags are such a big thing to ignore! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 i'm feeling pretty rotten today i did used to enjoy her company, and she was nice when she was here, but the trust and red flags are such a big thing to ignore! What about the existence of red flags made you have to end it? I have several people in my life who I am wary around because they have qualities that concern me, but I can still enjoy their company. I just don't expect anything different from them than who I know they are. Link to post Share on other sites
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