Love at first sight

[GeorgesIsntAtHome]

Hi again, havent been here for a while, used to post a lot about a particular story that you might wanna read here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/444434-seeking-validation-so-bad-i-want-stop-caring

 

I know now that I was dealing with love at first sight, and I didnt now how to deal with it, and am still struggling... I basically met a girl that that was fresh out of a long term relationship but wasnt ready for anything, she basically sent mixed messages and we spent a few nights together, despite every fiber of my body yelling at me not to get involved, I fell for her, and she wanted to remain friends a few days later, but then after trying to find out things she ended up telling me that I was only someone who gave her affection whe she needed it. Many things happened and we went back and forth, argueing and everything, it was bad and I didnt know how to cope I was completely lost, one day I would try to understand, the other I got mad, the fact and the matter is that I'm 35 now and I met my share of women and had about 6 girlfriends in my life, two of them lasting more than a year..But among all these women she was the second one in my life that I really feel for, I broke up after 1 year relationships and barely cried. Ever since I am dating, the "crush", the big love at first sight that drives you crazy, the powerful magnetism between two people, that feeling, I only felt it twice, once when I was in my 20s, and we went out for a month, and another time with this girl! The fact that the love was unrequited was driving me crazy, was it just timing, should I keep looking, should I keep her in my life and see ? I know she has seen bad sides in me but I know also that we have many things in common and that if we would have met at different times things would have been different cause as friends we were getting along so well!

 

Everybody tells me to forget her, turns out it's not as easy as it seems for 2 reasons, one she's friends with people I know and 2, well, part of my subconscious wants to live that feeling again, I think it's just normal, and even though I'm trying to rationalise it all (she has her flaws), I am living a fantasy and idealising her completely... I just wish I would have had one chance, ONE.

 

I think it can be compared to the most delicious piece of cake you ever tasted, your brain remembers the feeling, and you want the cake again, you want to whole freaking cake!!

 

it's been 5 months now, and I know that she is in a new relationship since last christmas. yeah I know I should back off, I have told myself that a million times, I also know you cant force love, you have to let go and if it's meant to be it will come back and blah blah.. but the feeling that I will never have those kind of feelings ever again is SO STRONG, I just cant let go, feels like I need answer, I need to be convinced that it wasnt meant to be

 

I tried meeting new people, it just doesnt work, something is not fixed inside me, it's like I dont care at all about any other girl. So basically, I guess what I'm trying to find out is, how bad should one pursue true love at first sight? should we just settle? I'm afraid that I wont meet anyone if I dont move on and keep some hope alive with that girl, but i'm also afraid that if I dont stick around as a friend I will never find out! I guess I need answers, I need to see something like "well shes not who I tought she was"

 

right now we're on good terms, she's willing to go have a drink, she told me on my birthday, and anyway I'll probably bump into her since we have common friends, and with summer just around the corner, there will be plenty of activities with that group of friends..

 

thanks for the help in advance, and please share if you had similar experiences