Mommame2 Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Talking to someone on OLD for a few weeks. Only texting except for one phone call .... He asked me out to dinner this weekend. I agreed. But he doesn't communicate at all for days. I tried texting to say hi. I got very little in return. It's been 3 days. No texting of calling. Would you still agree to the date? It just seems SO distant. Also, I see him active on OLD all day long! Thoughts?
David87 Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 I wouldn't go If I were you. He doesn't seem to be too excited about the date and about you.
TXGuy Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 He asked me out to dinner this weekend. I agreed. But he doesn't communicate at all for days. I tried texting to say hi. I got very little in return. It's been 3 days. No texting of calling. Would you still agree to the date? ... Thoughts? You agreed to a first date (still have never met face to face) and you are thinking about flaking or standing him up because you have not exchanged texts for three days? I don't know why you would consider doing that. Seems like you should meet him, as agreed. If you find something you don't like about him on the date, then you can end it. I don't understand the need to end things now. 1
MidwestUSA Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 You haven't met this guy yet, and you're watching his profile to see when he's online. I'm going to warn you, you're going to drive yourself crazy. I wouldn't expect or demand a lot of communication prior to a date. You do have a firm date, time and place, right? Confirm it with him the day before. Don't talk for weeks before meeting; try to get that first date in within a week or two; then you can start to set expectations of how frequently you are going to communicate.
Author Mommame2 Posted April 11, 2014 Author Posted April 11, 2014 Well, part of the problem is I told him I would need to get a sitter for my little one. He picked a place. But, he hasn't followed up with a time. And I have always been the one to initiate texting contact, so I don't want to reach out to him again. I honestly wish HE would just cancel.
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Relaaaax. Maybe he's been busy. Some people aren't constant texters. But I will say, if your convo's are initiated by you simply saying "Hi" he might be bored by such a bland greeting and ignore it. 1
Gaeta Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 First: NO dinner as first date. Stick to coffee meetings and limit it to 2 hours. What if you get there and the man is 400-lbs, pick his nose and smells? You're gonna go through an entire dinner face to face with that? Second: Don't be so eager to give your number and jump from online to text. I keep it online till the first meet, we exchange numbers before heading to coffee in case one of us is late. If you don't have each others number then you won't be wondering why he isn't texting right! and why be texting a man you have not met anyway. The fact that he's online now means nothing. Don't follow him around. This is for later IF you start dating. I personally would lose interest fast in a man that doesn't give reasonable attention and a man not making contact. I want consistency and that is something easy to judge right from the first contact. You said you've been in contact with him for a few weeks, how has been his communication style since the beginning? Is he interested in you? does he ask questions? who came up with the invitation to meet?
Author Mommame2 Posted April 11, 2014 Author Posted April 11, 2014 Well the first day we texted A LOT. Then he seemed to go away. But he told me that he wanted to confess that he had a one night stand with a distant friend of mind and he wanted to tell me that upfront because I felt horrible about it. That woman is now married. But he thought SHE would tell me. He said he was ashamed of himself for it.. Apparently it was not good. But they are friends now. I told him I didn't know... And rarely talk to the woman. That it didn't matter to me. He said he felt relief. Then he would reach out now and again and eventually asked me out to dinner. He only called me once. And I have been talking to him for about a month now and again. The time we did talk... It was him telling me about his divorce. And told me his ex is nuts and his 15 year old is border line suicidal and he's about to get full custody of him. It was def one of those convos that made me rethink my OWN divorce for my son. Scary! I think that is prob why I am still unsure about even going to dinner. He's got a lot going on.
HappyLove Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 He seems lukewarm at best. Just so you don't waste your time getting a sitter I'd send a text saying, "Hi, I wanted to confirm plans for Saturday, what time did you want to meet so I can plan accordingly'. If he doesn't respond I'd consider it canceled." I'm always baffled at how these men know so much about you. How does he know he slept with your friend? Is he a distant friend or did you meet online?
Gaeta Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Well the first day we texted A LOT. Then he seemed to go away. But he told me that he wanted to confess that he had a one night stand with a distant friend of mind and he wanted to tell me that upfront because I felt horrible about it. That woman is now married. But he thought SHE would tell me. He said he was ashamed of himself for it.. Apparently it was not good. But they are friends now. I told him I didn't know... And rarely talk to the woman. That it didn't matter to me. He said he felt relief. Then he would reach out now and again and eventually asked me out to dinner. He only called me once. And I have been talking to him for about a month now and again. The time we did talk... It was him telling me about his divorce. And told me his ex is nuts and his 15 year old is border line suicidal and he's about to get full custody of him. It was def one of those convos that made me rethink my OWN divorce for my son. Scary! I think that is prob why I am still unsure about even going to dinner. He's got a lot going on. Abort this. His ONS does not regard you. I don't understand why he had to confess this in you. He used you as a shrink and unloaded all his worries. The fact alone it took him 1 MOUTH to come up with a dinner invitation shows he's not dating material. I would be turned off by this guy.
MidwestUSA Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 ^^^amen to this^^^ You really know how to pick 'em. Diarrhea of the mouth. Incurable.
Recommended Posts