Black Cement Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Alright. my girlfriend just dropped the bomb on me this morning. she say's she's tired of my BS & that it's over. what happened was that she's been unhappy with our relationship, i accused her of cheating or that there's another guy waiting on deck. i have a problem with trusting women, because of the what i've been exposed to all my life. my mom cheated on my dad throughout my childhood and she told me not to say anything, so i kept that bottled up all these years. my sister tells me about all the guys she's seeing behind her boyfriends back, & how she wants to dump him. a lot of my friends were cheated on too. my ex tells me time after time that there is nobody else, but still i tend to bring that up and displace my anger towards her. she say's i overthink things and make up scenarios in my head. is she right? is there no other guy & i'm just tripping??
elseaacych Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Harsh truth: It doesn't matter anymore because you are no longer with her. Time for you to take care of and collect yourself. Move on to greener pastures. Good luck. 2
Author Black Cement Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 Harsh truth: It doesn't matter anymore because you are no longer with her. Time for you to take care of and collect yourself. Move on to greener pastures. Good luck. that's real helpful.
Chi townD Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Was she cheating on you? Probably not. But, you lost her anyway. When you accuse a person time and time again over something that they're not guilty of; then, they get stressed out and sick and tired of feeling guilt about something they shouldn't feel guilty about. And you push them to the breaking point. Well, sorry to say, you pushed her too hard and she left. Your biggest problem is that your mother ingrained into your head a distrust in women and your sister is re-enforcing that distrust. You need to see a professional to help you with this. There's nothing wrong with seeking individual counseling to get a handle on this insecurities. Or else this is going to happen again with every new girl you date.
JamesM Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Harsh truth: It doesn't matter anymore because you are no longer with her. Time for you to take care of and collect yourself. Move on to greener pastures. Good luck. that's real helpful. Actually, it is the answer needed. Whether she was cheating or not is not going to change the fact that she has left. If she cheated, then how will it help anything? The only benefit is that the OP will maybe realize that he can trust more than he does. Reality is...the trust issues will still follow him to the next relationship unless he learns to....trust.
Author Black Cement Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 Was she cheating on you? Probably not. But, you lost her anyway. When you accuse a person time and time again over something that they're not guilty of; then, they get stressed out and sick and tired of feeling guilt about something they shouldn't feel guilty about. And you push them to the breaking point. Well, sorry to say, you pushed her too hard and she left. Your biggest problem is that your mother ingrained into your head a distrust in women and your sister is re-enforcing that distrust. You need to see a professional to help you with this. There's nothing wrong with seeking individual counseling to get a handle on this insecurities. Or else this is going to happen again with every new girl you date. yeah you pretty much summed it up. I am insecure. maybe she wasn't cheating. another thing that bothers me is that she has a lot of close guy friends and I'm uncomfortable with that. Wish I could afford to get professional help, but this forum is all I have for now.
KaliLove Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 There are always ways to get professional help. I pay $20 a session for my therapist and she's amazing. Yeah, you definitely need to see someone before you try to enter into another relationship.
CaliBabe Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 I really second the idea of getting professional help. Try researching and calling around. As the poster above me said, she is only paying $20 per session (I'm jealous!). Therapy has helped me so much. Moving forwad with my life, being more secure in myself and in future relationships. I too felt very insecure in my relationship causing it to deteriorate. You need to be whole first as person before you can be in a healthy relationship. Most likely she wasn't cheating... I mean why be in a relationship with someone, invest in them, only to cheat? Without proof, you can't continuously accuse someone of cheating day in and day out, creating these made up scenarios. People want to be happy. If she had male friends you should have spoken to her about it and made boundaries of how far things went (communication, calls, texts, hanging out, etc) and if she loved you she would be happy to make you comfortable. You have to look at yourself in how you are as a person. Would you want to date you? Look at how you communicate, how you spoke to her, etc. I think deep down inside you KNOW whether or not she cheated or not. Your gut must be telling you something. 1
Author Black Cement Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 I really second the idea of getting professional help. Try researching and calling around. As the poster above me said, she is only paying $20 per session (I'm jealous!). Therapy has helped me so much. Moving forwad with my life, being more secure in myself and in future relationships. I too felt very insecure in my relationship causing it to deteriorate. You need to be whole first as person before you can be in a healthy relationship. Most likely she wasn't cheating... I mean why be in a relationship with someone, invest in them, only to cheat? Without proof, you can't continuously accuse someone of cheating day in and day out, creating these made up scenarios. People want to be happy. If she had male friends you should have spoken to her about it and made boundaries of how far things went (communication, calls, texts, hanging out, etc) and if she loved you she would be happy to make you comfortable. You have to look at yourself in how you are as a person. Would you want to date you? Look at how you communicate, how you spoke to her, etc. I think deep down inside you KNOW whether or not she cheated or not. Your gut must be telling you something. well, idk if i'm comfortable telling my problems face to face with someone, this forum is helping for now. i really don't have hard evidence of her cheating, except for the facts that she hangs out with a lot of guys, but she hangs out with just as many girls. i admit, that i am the jealous type, and it makes my mind think up crazy thoughts. i pushed her away, & idk if i'll ever hear from her again. god knows i want her back, & you're right, i need to better myself before anyone would want to date me.
KaliLove Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 well, idk if i'm comfortable telling my problems face to face with someone, this forum is helping for now. i really don't have hard evidence of her cheating, except for the facts that she hangs out with a lot of guys, but she hangs out with just as many girls. i admit, that i am the jealous type, and it makes my mind think up crazy thoughts. i pushed her away, & idk if i'll ever hear from her again. god knows i want her back, & you're right, i need to better myself before anyone would want to date me. Ugh..you're such a guy.
Author Black Cement Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 Ugh..you're such a guy. lol, its kinda embarrassing for us...
KaliLove Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 lol, its kinda embarrassing for us... More embarrassing or painful than repeatedly accusing your ex of cheating and then getting dumped for it? It's worth it. Trust me. 1
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