P1nginLOVE Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 MM has turned out to be someone I never ever thought he could be - a very pathetic and scared little man with no balls whatsoever. I cornered him the other day on our way out of work and told him exactly what I thought of him and he looked like he was actually shaking with fear! I'm so glad his wife decked him - I just wish I had had that chance too! Hell hath no fury... Now we all move on, although I suspect my husband and my marriage will recover a lot quicker and healthier than theirs ever will - how can it when not only did he betray her with an affair, he then continued to lie about it for 3 months even after she kept asking him. How could you ever trust someone like again... Sorry when I reolied, I haven't read your last post! Feel sorry for you...but at least now you know the one who truly treasures you! Your H is an awesome man! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tarnished Posted April 24, 2014 Author Share Posted April 24, 2014 (edited) I wasn't sure whether to start a new thread as I thought it might get confusing updating the old one so if the Mods want to shut this new one down, that's ok... After two months of LC we eventually began full contact again and restarted our affair, however MM ended it abruptly when his wife saw an email exchange between us. I tried to help him out by sending his wife an email to apologise and to tell her it was definitely over (we talked about the possibility of me doing this for him). She told me she'd heard all this before, that I was a liar, to leave him alone, he doest want me, never has, etc. She said I had to stop chasing him, making out like I was some sexual predator stalking him (WTF!). Turns out MM had again denied denied denied that anything had ever happened between us, that I wanted it to, but he turned me down. This time around though he didn't count on me having proof of the affair (conversations, emails, etc). I didn't immediately want to send them to his wife so when she continued to indicate I was a stalking liar, I gave her just enough suggestive evidence that would ring alarm bells and make her begin to see I was telling the truth. But after some really nasty messages from her, I ended up sending her some of the conversations and emails. Even in the face of very damning evidence he continued to still deny and after she confronted him AGAIN and he continued to lie - she ended up punching him out and knocked him unconscious! He still continued lying for another two whole days - denying the affair had happened, until finally he came clean about everything. More nasty messages between her and I ensued and then my hubby got involved and ended up speaking to her in person (calmly). Meanwhile the lying cheating scumbag has refused to say anything at all to me about what has happened (just hidden behind his wife and let her abuse me). I've asked him to apologise for painting me as a liar and stalker but he refuses to say anything at all - just ignores me. His wife even encouraged him to have a conversation with me and understood why I was so angry with him and agreed he'd done the wrong thing by me. We also even found out from his wife that they went to marriage counselling after my husband first told her of the affair and he lied to the counsellor, saying I was after him but he'd never done anything! More conversations have taken place between his wife and my husband, as well as her and I, and the three of us have agreed there will be no more contact between any of us (he still hasn't said a word!). He's even started parking in a different place at work to purposely avoid running into me. He's since blocked my ph number and messages. So there you go - a very cautionary tale of an affair gone spectacularly bad! It all blew up in the end and finally his wife knows the indisputable truth (3 months after she was first told by my husband and MM denied it). MM has turned out to be someone I never ever thought he could be - a very pathetic and scared little man with no balls whatsoever. I cornered him the other day on our way out of work and told him exactly what I thought of him and he looked like he was actually shaking with fear! I'm so glad his wife decked him - I just wish I had had that chance too! Hell hath no fury... Now we all move on, although I suspect my marriage will recover a lot quicker and healthier than their's ever will - how can it when not only did he betray her with an affair, he then continued to lie about it for 3 months even after she kept repeatedly asking him for the truth. How could you ever trust someone like that again... Edited April 24, 2014 by Tarnished 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Hmm, I wondering what role does your husband play in you life? I'm not attacking you, I just don't understand the wayward wifes thinking. How do you plan on making it right by him and helping him heal and get past this mess you have created? Seems like right now your more interested in OM and shifting most of if not all the blame on him. Lastly does your husband know you've tried to restart, or does he think its from the first time? Again I'm not attacking or judging. I'm currently starting over with my exWW, I know our situation is different because I couldn't come back from the openly disrespectful manner in which your affair seems to have taken place. Yet I honestly believe that I can gain some insight from you journey. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
notserene Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Well...you have a lot of work to do with your husband. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
wanting more Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Wow. If you go and read my threads since I started here on LS, it's the same story. It's a tough road. It's a lonely road. You need to just accept he blamed you and his BW bought the story. You'll get to a point it won't matter to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Now we all move on, although I suspect my marriage will recover a lot quicker and healthier than their's ever will - how can it when not only did he betray her with an affair, he then continued to lie about it for 3 months even after she kept repeatedly asking him for the truth. How could you ever trust someone like that again... I don't mean to be inflammatory, but I found this part of your post pretty ridiculous to be honest. If I am understanding this correctly, your husband found out about your affair, and contacted the MM's wife. You then started the reconciliation process, only to maintain limited contact with your AP and then cheat on your husband all over again? "How could you ever trust someone like that again..." Indeed. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
brightonrock Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I can relate to your story Tarnished and how messy things can get when they deny after being found out and how the MM's wife just blamed you for it all while he continued to deny. Link to post Share on other sites
Snipercatt Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 not only did he betray her with an affair, he then continued to lie about it for 3 months How is this any different than what you did? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Mickey1982 Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I can relate to your story Tarnished and how messy things can get when they deny after being found out and how the MM's wife just blamed you for it all while he continued to deny. This is the common outcome when a confrontation occurs. They choose the wife (no matter what they say or feel) and put the blame on the OW after denying anything and everything to save themselves. It's all about them saving 'face' in the end and doing what they need to do to get there. Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I wasn't sure whether to start a new thread as I thought it might get confusing updating the old one so if the Mods want to shut this new one down, that's ok... After two months of LC we eventually began full contact again and restarted our affair, however MM ended it abruptly when his wife saw an email exchange between us. I tried to help him out by sending his wife an email to apologise and to tell her it was definitely over (we talked about the possibility of me doing this for him). She told me she'd heard all this before, that I was a liar, to leave him alone, he doest want me, never has, etc. She said I had to stop chasing him, making out like I was some sexual predator stalking him (WTF!). Turns out MM had again denied denied denied that anything had ever happened between us, that I wanted it to, but he turned me down. This time around though he didn't count on me having proof of the affair (conversations, emails, etc). I didn't immediately want to send them to his wife so when she continued to indicate I was a stalking liar, I gave her just enough suggestive evidence that would ring alarm bells and make her begin to see I was telling the truth. But after some really nasty messages from her, I ended up sending her some of the conversations and emails. Even in the face of very damning evidence he continued to still deny and after she confronted him AGAIN and he continued to lie - she ended up punching him out and knocked him unconscious! He still continued lying for another two whole days - denying the affair had happened, until finally he came clean about everything. More nasty messages between her and I ensued and then my hubby got involved and ended up speaking to her in person (calmly). Meanwhile the lying cheating scumbag has refused to say anything at all to me about what has happened (just hidden behind his wife and let her abuse me). I've asked him to apologise for painting me as a liar and stalker but he refuses to say anything at all - just ignores me. His wife even encouraged him to have a conversation with me and understood why I was so angry with him and agreed he'd done the wrong thing by me. We also even found out from his wife that they went to marriage counselling after my husband first told her of the affair and he lied to the counsellor, saying I was after him but he'd never done anything! More conversations have taken place between his wife and my husband, as well as her and I, and the three of us have agreed there will be no more contact between any of us (he still hasn't said a word!). He's even started parking in a different place at work to purposely avoid running into me. He's since blocked my ph number and messages. So there you go - a very cautionary tale of an affair gone spectacularly bad! It all blew up in the end and finally his wife knows the indisputable truth (3 months after she was first told by my husband and MM denied it). MM has turned out to be someone I never ever thought he could be - a very pathetic and scared little man with no balls whatsoever. I cornered him the other day on our way out of work and told him exactly what I thought of him and he looked like he was actually shaking with fear! I'm so glad his wife decked him - I just wish I had had that chance too! Hell hath no fury... Now we all move on, although I suspect my marriage will recover a lot quicker and healthier than their's ever will - how can it when not only did he betray her with an affair, he then continued to lie about it for 3 months even after she kept repeatedly asking him for the truth. How could you ever trust someone like that again... Does that mean your husband should punch you for doing the exact same thing? Why do you care so much what his wife thinks of you? Their relationship is none of your business. If it's bothering you so much then just block her number and move on. There's no need to gloat. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Glad to hear it's all over for good this time. I hope you really appreciate your husband fighting and standing up for you. It's rare that someone can have many D-Days and have a loving spouse still wanting to stay married. Forget exMM and his wife and their marriage. Not your concern or business, focus on healing and fixing you/proving yourself worthy of staying married to your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
SunshineToday Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 How could you ever trust someone like that again... The same way your husband is trusting you? Glad for your sake everything is out in the open. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lady2163 Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I'm wonder why it is important to you that the wife knows the cheating g husband is lying about you? Something about her must really push your buttons. You seem to ave a LOT of contact amongst the four of you. He was a jerk, it's blown up completely, not sure that I'm buying he was knocked unconscious by his wife, who to,d you that? Did he go to a hospital? I hope you are able to keep yourself safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I have not read your previous post but it appears you husband caught you, you then restarted the A, and you are worried about the character of OM? Why at this point do you care if his wife knocks him out or not. Sound s like you wanted validation he wanted you. If you need that it hardly sounds like you are emotionally over this OM . You are pissed he did not tell his wife how much he longed for you. Not sure why your H is so accepting of all of this. May e there is a good reason but I can't figure it out. You should concentrate on fixing your M. Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Does that mean your husband should punch you for doing the exact same thing? Why do you care so much what his wife thinks of you? Their relationship is none of your business. If it's bothering you so much then just block her number and move on. There's no need to gloat. These are my thoughts as well. What difference does it make whether he lied to his wife, whether she believes him, or whether he threw you under the bus??? None of that should be of any concern to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 and after all this(restarting the affair) your husband is taking you back... even allowing you to work with the OM? he sounds like a doormat. no wonder you don't respect him or your marriage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Good luck to the two of you and I mean that sincerely. I am a huge fan of redemption. A small word of caution, please work on not being so concerned about your xMMs life. I think our OW was overly concerned about our reconciliation and not enough on her own marriage and it lead to some pretty off the wall behavior on her part. You need to concentrate on your marriage and allow them to live their lives as they see fit. You will not be redeemed in their eyes and it doesn't matter, it's your marriage that matters. Link to post Share on other sites
tornado Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 All men are cowards. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I don't mean to be inflammatory, but I found this part of your post pretty ridiculous to be honest. If I am understanding this correctly, your husband found out about your affair, and contacted the MM's wife. You then started the reconciliation process, only to maintain limited contact with your AP and then cheat on your husband all over again? "How could you ever trust someone like that again..." Indeed. But, her husband did. I see tons of husbands who forgive and stay. More than those who leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 But, her husband did. I see tons of husbands who forgive and stay. More than those who leave. They stay. Not sure about the "forgive" part. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 They stay. Not sure about the "forgive" part. That's true. I almost edited that part out. Link to post Share on other sites
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