Ex's new gf dilemma

[innocentbutterfly]

so I did something uncalled for, I might have made a fake profile to spy on my ex when I was still getting over him a month or two ago.

 

So I found he got this new 'girlfriend', I know in my previous threads I was harsh to her calling her old, but upon talking to this woman I actually realized she is kinda good. Which I didn't expect.

 

I learned she was before already in same LDR with also a guy from his country that hurt her. she eveen keeps his ring still on her hand. go figure. I saw she recently joined facebook. So I was thinking maybe it was recent and if my ex is her rebound she is in for a rude awakening.

 

I know, i know. It's none of my business anymore, but I despise my ex and I know him way too much too know he will just play her, make her visit him then slowly start controlling her and then kick her. Just like he did with me.

 

He's immature and has no plans for future. He became a total sex maniac after having sex with me when before not having it for a few years. He is a muslim but he dreams of groupies and whatnot.

 

Also, I know for a fact she is not his type at all. He always stressed how he doesnt like blondes and I know ow he went all maniac saying to NEVER EVER dye my hair blonde. Not that I wanted, but anyway.

 

She does have quite good body, but her face is really very average and not exactly much appealing at first sight. She did say on chat she's about 24, bit she looks like 35 I swear, maybe she lied or I dont know...doesnt matter.

 

My question to you guys is, how do I make her talk to 'ME', you know the actual me?

 

I tried to make up a story so she would talk to 'his ex', but she said past doesnt interest her. I said with fake profile as in 'i know he hurt his ex very much and maybe you can talk with her and see how he is'

 

She didnt want. So I had to stop not to blow my cover.

 

I really dont want her to get hurt, she seems like a good genunine person. And it seems she's got quite some money. Another magnet for my ex to use her, he's greedy.

 

I know for a fact also that he will never travel, not for her.

I know their passport prices and he will not want to pay and he's not even independent enough as I know with me it was so many excuses until he finally threw it on me to travel.

 

So you see where this goes, making her travel, have sex, control, abuse then throw away. It's the way he is. I know him down to the bottom. This guy has ego to the roof and sick princlples, thinks he's too sexy for any girl, double standards, you name it. Above all, he puts a mask on how and never does ANYTHING for you, always blames you for everything, no surprises, basically I had to work this whole relationship. And I just know he's INCAPABLE of holding a relationship, At least a long distance one and see he still went in one AGAIN. Being bored surfing for cam sex online, I believe and he just catched this one more interested. Not to mention he thinks of marriage as a PRISON. He wants to have fun and settle down in his late 30's. He said it himself.

 

So my question is, if there's a way and if it's smart, how to warn her?

 

I'm seeing she started to post love stuff songs and I can see how this will soon be hell for her when he gets annoyed of her.

 

So loveshacks, do advise me

Edited April 9, 2014 by innocentbutterfly

[Jiivy]

You asked LS for our advice! And so we shall give.

 

Walk away.

 

Actually no, RUN.

 

I understand that you feel a need to try and protect this new person from your ex. My partner of 7 years left me alone, without family and abandoned for another man after 7 years. Did I get in touch with this guy, try to warn him? I thought about it...but answer me this question. Answer it honestly and truly.

 

Do you want to warn this person because you have their sole interest at heart, or are you doing this because you're jealous?

 

I already know that answer - I see you...so be the grown up here and step away.

[innocentbutterfly]

I can tell you I got no jealousy in me. Not even a pint. I despise him to the last bit and even if there was ever a heavenly chance of getting him back, I wouldn't take it.

 

That I'm sure.

 

Do I wish him happines? No. Do I hate him? not exactly, but I despise him, for evrrything he did, the way he was. I just can't imagine him doing it again and getting away with it. It just makes me sick to the stomach.

 

I would warn her because if I can and she's already been hurt before, why not spare her? I did mention she seems like a nice girl/woman.

 

I would do it if there was a chance, though, I don't think she would listen and I could see my ex coming back into contact with me threatening me. So I would do it nicely. Just warn her.

 

But on the other hand, you are right. Maybe I would just make everything worse, but maybe, just maybe I could spare this one the sickness of my ex that she will uncover eventually

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

so I did something uncalled for, I might have made a fake profile to spy on my ex when I was still getting over him a month or two ago.

 

So I found he got this new 'girlfriend', I know in my previous threads I was harsh to her calling her old, but upon talking to this woman I actually realized she is kinda good. Which I didn't expect.

 

I learned she was before already in same LDR with also a guy from his country that hurt her. she eveen keeps his ring still on her hand. go figure. I saw she recently joined facebook. So I was thinking maybe it was recent and if my ex is her rebound she is in for a rude awakening.

 

I know, i know. It's none of my business anymore, but I despise my ex and I know him way too much too know he will just play her, make her visit him then slowly start controlling her and then kick her. Just like he did with me.

 

He's immature and has no plans for future. He became a total sex maniac after having sex with me when before not having it for a few years. He is a muslim but he dreams of groupies and whatnot.

 

Also, I know for a fact she is not his type at all. He always stressed how he doesnt like blondes and I know ow he went all maniac saying to NEVER EVER dye my hair blonde. Not that I wanted, but anyway.

 

She does have quite good body, but her face is really very average and not exactly much appealing at first sight. She did say on chat she's about 24, bit she looks like 35 I swear, maybe she lied or I dont know...doesnt matter.

 

My question to you guys is, how do I make her talk to 'ME', you know the actual me?

 

I tried to make up a story so she would talk to 'his ex', but she said past doesnt interest her. I said with fake profile as in 'i know he hurt his ex very much and maybe you can talk with her and see how he is'

 

She didnt want. So I had to stop not to blow my cover.

 

I really dont want her to get hurt, she seems like a good genunine person. And it seems she's got quite some money. Another magnet for my ex to use her, he's greedy.

 

I know for a fact also that he will never travel, not for her.

I know their passport prices and he will not want to pay and he's not even independent enough as I know with me it was so many excuses until he finally threw it on me to travel.

 

So you see where this goes, making her travel, have sex, control, abuse then throw away. It's the way he is. I know him down to the bottom. This guy has ego to the roof and sick princlples, thinks he's too sexy for any girl, double standards, you name it. Above all, he puts a mask on how and never does ANYTHING for you, always blames you for everything, no surprises, basically I had to work this whole relationship. And I just know he's INCAPABLE of holding a relationship, At least a long distance one and see he still went in one AGAIN. Being bored surfing for cam sex online, I believe and he just catched this one more interested. Not to mention he thinks of marriage as a PRISON. He wants to have fun and settle down in his late 30's. He said it himself.

 

So my question is, if there's a way and if it's smart, how to warn her?

 

I'm seeing she started to post love stuff songs and I can see how this will soon be hell for her when he gets annoyed of her.

 

So loveshacks, do advise me

 

Wow....this sounds so awful. Really....just wow.

 

Get away. FAR FAR AWAY

[Jiivy]

making it your mission to rescue people from your damaged ex is admirable but I don't know...misguided.

 

You're not a bad person for stepping away and letting the cycle repeat. You're a strong person for keeping the distance, being better than your ex and letting it go.

 

Maybe there isn't a right or a wrong answer here - both sides of the argument had valid merits. I guess you just have to decide how much you actually care about your ex that you'd be willing to actively invest time in them still.

[hoping2heal]

so I did something uncalled for, I might have made a fake profile to spy on my ex when I was still getting over him a month or two ago.

 

So I found he got this new 'girlfriend', I know in my previous threads I was harsh to her calling her old, but upon talking to this woman I actually realized she is kinda good. Which I didn't expect.

 

I learned she was before already in same LDR with also a guy from his country that hurt her. she eveen keeps his ring still on her hand. go figure. I saw she recently joined facebook. So I was thinking maybe it was recent and if my ex is her rebound she is in for a rude awakening.

 

I know, i know. It's none of my business anymore, but I despise my ex and I know him way too much too know he will just play her, make her visit him then slowly start controlling her and then kick her. Just like he did with me.

 

He's immature and has no plans for future. He became a total sex maniac after having sex with me when before not having it for a few years. He is a muslim but he dreams of groupies and whatnot.

 

Also, I know for a fact she is not his type at all. He always stressed how he doesnt like blondes and I know ow he went all maniac saying to NEVER EVER dye my hair blonde. Not that I wanted, but anyway.

 

She does have quite good body, but her face is really very average and not exactly much appealing at first sight. She did say on chat she's about 24, bit she looks like 35 I swear, maybe she lied or I dont know...doesnt matter.

 

My question to you guys is, how do I make her talk to 'ME', you know the actual me?

 

I tried to make up a story so she would talk to 'his ex', but she said past doesnt interest her. I said with fake profile as in 'i know he hurt his ex very much and maybe you can talk with her and see how he is'

 

She didnt want. So I had to stop not to blow my cover.

 

I really dont want her to get hurt, she seems like a good genunine person. And it seems she's got quite some money. Another magnet for my ex to use her, he's greedy.

 

I know for a fact also that he will never travel, not for her.

I know their passport prices and he will not want to pay and he's not even independent enough as I know with me it was so many excuses until he finally threw it on me to travel.

 

So you see where this goes, making her travel, have sex, control, abuse then throw away. It's the way he is. I know him down to the bottom. This guy has ego to the roof and sick princlples, thinks he's too sexy for any girl, double standards, you name it. Above all, he puts a mask on how and never does ANYTHING for you, always blames you for everything, no surprises, basically I had to work this whole relationship. And I just know he's INCAPABLE of holding a relationship, At least a long distance one and see he still went in one AGAIN. Being bored surfing for cam sex online, I believe and he just catched this one more interested. Not to mention he thinks of marriage as a PRISON. He wants to have fun and settle down in his late 30's. He said it himself.

 

So my question is, if there's a way and if it's smart, how to warn her?

 

I'm seeing she started to post love stuff songs and I can see how this will soon be hell for her when he gets annoyed of her.

 

So loveshacks, do advise me

 

I understand why you would want to help, but you can't help. She isn't going to listen to you, even if you do blow your own cover and reveal yourself. You will look like "that crazy ex who stalked my new girlfriend and tried to turn her against me". You already mentioned she has zero interest in talking to an ex that was burned by him.

 

Even if she did believe there was some truth to it, all people think they're different, that they are somehow magically the exception. She will want to see what happens for herself.

 

Not to mention, what you're doing is really unhealthy for yourself. You talk about what abuses this guy put you through and then you further abuse yourself by using your time and energy to play games online? Come on.

 

You need to recover and get back to your own life, and stop trying to find reasons to be flung into the middle of his.

[Trovador]

And would you try to warn every woman your ex will come across?

 

Let the dead rest... OLD is full of risks and anyone willing to try this method should be aware of and prepared for them. Who knows, maybe with this woman he will meet his match...

 

You are opening a can of worms...