OhNoNotAgain Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 It's been 2 weeks of NC, and I cannot get my ex out of my head (after an 8 month relationship). No matter what I do, I am constantly thinking of her. I'm pretty sure she's already seeing someone, so that makes it very hard too. I feel like the only thing that will get my mind off of her is to start talking to another girl, but I don't have the best luck with girls, and I can be somewhat shy before I know someone. I met my ex online, and I've been looking on the online dating sites to try to move my head forward, but I'm just not attracted to most of the girls I have seen on there (no offense), which makes me start missing her more, and makes me feel like there's no one out there for me. Then there's the fact that online dating can be tough when you're competing with a ton of guys for every girl. Anyway, how do you guys deal with getting your ex out of your head? How do you deal with the emptiness of not having that person to talk and text with all day? And coming home to see everything that reminds you of her, and being crushed by the thought that she's gone? And what about you guys that aren't the best with girls? How were you able to move on knowing it could be a while till you meet someone while your ex was able to find a new guy within days?
HappyxFaith Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 My ex recently broke up with me too. I think one of the main things that I try to remember, and that I'm reminding myself daily to remember is that moving on and letting go of the past is about you, yourself, and your sanity. My ex is half way around the world on another continent, and who knows what he could be doing. Maybe he really does have a girl he's interested in, and is pursuing that right now. But if you think about it, what good does it do? It's none of your business, and because now that your broken up it's not a competition to see who can date another person faster, but it simply means that they will find someone again sooner (like days) or later (like years) but it does nothing for you to dwell over that. And you, yourself shouldn't be looking to date another person so soon, it won't be fair to how you feel, and whoever falls for your advances. The only thing that I know that even helps remotely, is to get busy, get active, and stay mindful in the present. Focus on what's going on now. Focus on every intake of breath and every breath that goes out. Focus on the sun that rises day after day bringing sunlight to your eyes. Focus on the trees that shed their leaves each winter only to grow it back again in the spring, but it's never quite the same again. Do things you enjoy doing, but never have (within rational reason), eat healthy, be healthy, see friends and although it feels like agony (I know mine does), will yourself to keep on living and moving on one step, one day at a time. Humans have an extraordinary amount of willpower to overcome and achieve what we want with time. If you want to heal and get her out of your mind, you can. Just have faith in how far you've come, and appreciate yourself for every little accomplishment you do (like cleaning, seeing friends) and the days will become easier with time. Don't focus on her, focus on yourself.
Lifegoezon Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 It's completely normal and there's nothing you can do but ride it out. 2 weeks is no time at all. Feel the feelings and allow yourself to grieve. Read this Breakup Recovery Guide and don't have unrealistic expectations of yourself. Good luck.
HeartinPain Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 That is normal. It gets better with time. I am nearly at 5 months NC. I still think about him everyday, but its mostly indifferent as I have accepted the breakup. After about 2 months NC, the amount i thought about him started to decrease significantly. I know everyone says this.. but the best way is to focus on improving yourself! Throw yourself into work, hobbies, working out and friends! Working on yourself is the best distraction. You will grow from this a stronger, better and happier person.
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