DragonPrincess Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 Let me begin by saying that I've been happily settled with the same man for 11 years & we have a wonderful life and a beautiful child together. A few months ago I made a profile on the professional website LinkedIn for work. I had not checked it or updated it for a few weeks but when I did last week I had a notification. It was my ex. He had apparently searched for me on the website and subsequently viewed my profile multiple times. I have not spoken to this man in over 12 years. We had a very lovely, intense relationship and I was the one who ended it as he was ready to settle down at the time and I was not (there was a 15 year age gap). There was never any ill will between us but I ended up breaking contact completely as we simply couldn't be friends. We always ended up getting back together or just having sex and I knew we couldn't move on. So to say I was surprised he had been searching for me was an understatement. I know he is also married with a child as we still have a mutual acquaintance (I never asked about him, but I was told anyway). Well only the other day he requested that I add him on LinkedIn. I thought it was odd but I accepted the request (probably stupid of me). I then asked hin why he was contacting me after all this time and explained that I am happily settled down. When he replied he then proceeded to tell me that he had supposedly added me by accident. No mention of the fact that he had deliberately searched for me at all & then viewed my profile many times. He didn't search, view or add my profile on the same day so ot can't have been by accident. My issue is, why would he lie? We've agreed not to contact each other again but he hasn't deleted me from LinkedIn. I just wonder what I should do? Why did he connect with me, why view my account multiple occasions. Why agree to make no further contact but stay connected with my account? I'm probably being paranoid and it's totally harmless but I'm just a bit concerned that he has been looking me up online. What should I do? I don't want to be rude but I'm a little creeped out. Please tell me I'm being silly!
Darren Steez Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 You're happily settled with someone. Why all the fuss if you're so secure?
Author DragonPrincess Posted April 9, 2014 Author Posted April 9, 2014 You're happily settled with someone. Why all the fuss if you're so secure? I think I'm mainly concerned because in the past he has shown he has trouble taking no for an answer. I'm really just unsure if I would be overreacting by cutting him off completely or if I don't that perhaps he'll continue to try and talk to me (even though he agreed not to). When we split up years ago he had a hard time letting go and I'm worried about that happening again. He would turn up at my house/work etc in the past.
Audieme Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 I'd trust your gut on this one. If this were me, I'd keep the boundary line at the LinkedIn profile. Ignore him or keep responses short and sweet with no open-ended questions. If he's waited this long to contact you, I'm sure he won't mind spending time slowly trying to enter back into your life (if that's what he's doing). Stay alert.
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