SomeGoodPerson Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 Hello, as you can see this is my first post. I am not much of a forum guy but I suddenly felt like sharing and maybe listening to some advice. So here it comes.. In love I cant help but think I'm an amateur. I mean how can I have never had a true relationship. I am not poor, I am definitely not ugly and I have a Master of Science degree which leads me to believe that I'm not stupid either. My first attempts to get a girl to like me were somewhat successful and at parties it wasnt that hard to get a kiss (we're talking age 14-17). From where I am now (26 years old) I think later on in college I didnt pay much attention to the girls and was too busy being the leader among the rest of the boys. So far so good, nothing too shocking. But then at age ~20 I met the girl that I still can't get out of my head. At first we just hung together in a big company and then we started texting. You all know how it goes... But for me it was something of a challenge and she was very beautiful or at least to me and I fell in love. But I didnt let her know it. We just kept in touch and this is because I heard that she had a boyfriend (I'm the type of man is not OK with that). It is getting too long... For 4 years that I was actively pursuing her feelings nothing much really happened. We almost had sex once.. and on many other occasions I think I didnt really know how to seal the deal... And she felt me like a close person. I wrote her a poem, she would call and share her life all the time. But we never had a true man-woman relationship. When we last talked she made it clear that she is not attracted to me in that way and it will not happen in the future... But and in my opinion it's a big but - she used to kiss me while her BF was next room, just for the sake of it, not very sensually, from time to time she wanted me to take her some place and just relax and feel good in my company. Well I dont know.. I cant even tell what exactly do I expect from this post... I just wanted to write it down and let it out. Now we havent met for over a year.. I still have feelings for her and she is living with some new man about whom I know nothing. At last I like to confess that I often go to paid companion just for the physical needs. Do you think this ruins the general mindset of women? I know I get just the service.. $ = sex , no strings attached. I feel like its high time for me to find the girl that will be my partner in life. I need it and I really dont know from where to start... If there are other people like me around, I'd appreciate sharing your experience.
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