Summerbabe Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 My brother met this guy lets call him Tyler on xbox live and they have been friends for 5 years or so and have hung out twice; the reason why is because they live in different states. Well in February Tyler started messaging me on Facebook and we live in different states as well; we would message each other every day and I had a boyfriend as well but I knew nothing would happen with Tyler since we lived in different states. Tyler even bought me flowers for Valentines Day and would tell me how I am gorgeous and all this stuff. Then one day he asked if I was single and if we lived closer could I see us dating each other. I said yes I could but we don't and I have a boyfriend so it wouldn't happen. In March my boyfriend broke up with me and I was very upset and Tyler was there for me and we started talking on the phone every night then. We even admitted to each other how we like each other and how if we see each other we most likely would kiss each other. He started to ask me at the end of March on how I should visit him for a weekend. After planning on what we would do and how long I would be there I booked myself a plane ticket to see him in May. That Friday he told me how he was going on a date with a girl he met on Tinder I said okay have fun. He told me how he thinks she is a cool girl so I didn't think anything of it until they went out to take pictures on Sunday and then met up Sunday evening at his families house. Once I found this out I asked have you guys kissed already? He said yes we have. I said oh well is it okay if I still come and visit you for the weekend? He said I don't know. I said are you with this girl? He said it would be awkward if I came and visited and he was in a serious relationship wither her. I said so do you want me to cancel the tickets? He said hmmmmmm. I said I feel like you are being dishonest with me. He said how am I being dishonest? I said because you aren't telling me what is going on with you or how you feel about things you say hmm or I don't know; I have no idea what you mean by those phrases. He didn't reply back. The next day I call him to tell him something funny; he picks up and I tell him about it then once he hung up I decided to call and ask him what is going on with him. So I call and he doesn't pick up so I text him to call me he said in a min. It was an hour and half when I decided to text him. I texted him a goodbye text saying how I am done. I am done with him being distanced and not telling me why or what is going on and that I hope him and this girl enjoy their time together and how I loved getting to know him and I won't call or text him first again. I didn't make conant to him for a week until today. I sent him snapchats and he sent me one back saying oh hey. I sent him one saying I miss you and he sent me one saying ................:/. I don't know about you but that means nothing to me other than then trying to say he is sorry that I feel that way while he is fine. So I sent him another snapchat saying just be honest with me please! do you or do you not want to be friends? He didn't reply back and he saw it for an hour now. I don't know what to do or why he is being like this! My sister thinks I am bothering him too much on the whole where do we stand and he is probably annoyed with me and probably doesn't like me anymore since I am bothering him but I think he should of known this would of happened since he didn't tell me what is going on and especially since he told me he would never leave me like what my ex did. (my ex just broke up with me out of the blue and I became very depressed where I started to hurt myself because of the rejection). Anyway I need help on what do I or why is he being like this? I asked my brother and the only helpful advice he gave me was "don't feel rejected because if you lived closer to him it would be different". I am so lost...............I really do miss him.
Author Summerbabe Posted April 8, 2014 Author Posted April 8, 2014 I'm 21 and he is 23. I'm thinking I've ruined our relationship to the point where we can't be friends. I don't know; I'm thinking and I'm evolved into it too much.
TMichaels Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 I am so lost................ That makes two of us. If you want people to respond you need to break up your posts into paragraphs. Not using semi-colons to create endless run-on sentences would help, too. Otherwise it's just too much trouble for others to try and read and comprehend what you wrote. Sorry, but that's the truth. Best, TMichaels
HeavenOrHell Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 I agree stop all contact, he clearly doesn't have feelings for you if he's off kissing someone else. I don't agree to wait, you need to not wait and put this person behind you. He may or may not get in touch at some point, people do not always get in touch when you stop contact. It's quite thoughtless of him to book a trip with you and imply you'd get close and then go on a date with someone else, on the other hand he doesn't really owe you anything as you're not partners and you've not actually met. The whole thing just sounds immature. Stop all contact, and simply - wait. he will, at one point, re-establish contact. .
justwhoiam Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 Disclaimer: the following content only expresses my personal opinion and is not meant to irritate the hypersensitive. he asked if I was single and if we lived closer could I see us dating each other. I said yes You let him know you'd have been available had you been closer, but that was formally not appropriate, as you had a boyfriend when he asked. So had you been in love with your boyfriend, the answer would have been: no (I don't see myself dating you as I'm already taken). We even admitted to each other how we like each other and how if we see each other we most likely would kiss each other. ... I'm thinking I've ruined our relationship to the point where we can't be friends Whom are you trying to convince? He was not looking for a friend. He wanted something else with you. That's clear. Flowers on Valentine's. All the support while you were down after a breakup, etc. And you didn't want him as a friend either, until when he started going out with another girl. He started to ask me at the end of March on how I should visit him for a weekend. ... I booked myself a plane ticket to see him in May. He asked, you complied. Why? Why didn't you - in turn - told him that if he was interested in meeting you, he could have come and visit you? Wrong move. That Friday he told me how he was going on a date with a girl he met on Tinder I said okay have fun. Ok, maybe I come from Mars and you are very civil and politically correct. But as I see it, you don't tell a guy you like him, you'd most likely kiss him if you met him, talk to him all the time, and show such an excitement that you rushed to book your plane tickets just to see him, IF you are ok with him hooking up with other girls. Wrong move #2. I asked have you guys kissed already? He said yes we have. I said oh well is it okay if I still come and visit you for the weekend? He doesn't see you as a friend, he never did. He was trying to pursue you with a different purpose that was not friendship. I think it's not hard to understand. I said so do you want me to cancel the tickets? He said hmmmmmm. He just met the other girl, so who knows what happens with her. Maybe she's going to be his girlfriend. Maybe they stop seeing each other after 5 dates. It's kind of unpredictable, and he doesn't want to miss a chance with you, should the occasion arise. In short, he'd put you on the backburner for the moment. If things go wrong with the other girl, you're still in the picture. So that's why he's not comfortable with pushing you away completely. once he hung up I decided to call and ask him what is going on with him You are getting annoying and suffocating. I texted him a goodbye text saying how I am done. ... I didn't make conant to him for a week until today You came across as desperate. Wrong move #3. he is sorry that I feel that way while he is fine. So I sent him another snapchat saying just be honest with me please! do you or do you not want to be friends? He didn't reply Why are you putting yourself in such a miserable situation? The question is not what's wrong with this guy, rather: what's wrong with you? And I'm being honest, since you are asking for that. I don't know what to do Move on. He's a perfect no one. You never met him. He's just a virtual chat buddy. Next time you'll keep your guards higher when getting to know a stranger from online. he told me he would never leave me like what my ex did. That's a good enough reason not to welcome him when he'll be back, if ever. Just close the door and don't open it again. I started to hurt myself because of the rejection I really hope this is something that belongs to the past and you will cope differently this time. Also, this guy is not your boyfriend, so don't let it get to you that much. I need help on what do Quit the social media for a while, keep your phone off for a couple of weeks. Start enjoying other things, go out with your friends, focus on some projects you wanted to work on. Keep yourself occupied. Focus on yourself more. Get a new hairstyle. Do anything that can potentially make you feel better and stop thinking of that guy. I really do miss him. I miss a guy spending time with you, listening to you, etc. You'll meet other people. Probably a nicer guy.
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