thegreatesthumphrey Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Okay. So, after being on this forum with my most recent relationship, l have learned quite a bit about myself. l have suffered too much trauma in my life 99% of it being from men. Some of the worst possible scenarios which l wont go into, being unwanted by both parents because l was more of a burden in their new marriages, and its hard to believe but there has not been a single relationship that l have been in in my entire life that didnt end with me being taken complete advantage of. No one taught me anything. l had a boyfriend that beat me and left bruises all over me when l was 16 years old (my first boyfriend) and l would come home and my dad would say "those bruises are from that guy arent they?" then he would walk away. EVerything in my life l had to learn on my own from laundry to being able to take care of a child to money management. Absolutely EVERYTHiNG, and quite frankly it disgusts me. l am a great person though, and l didnt ask for all of this nor did l deserve it. l never steal, cheat, l am definitely not a liar, l care about people more than l should, and l am smart. This most recent relationship is the first one l have been in that the man really genuinely cared about me. l had no clue how to act or respond, because l have never been in or seen a real successful relationship. All l know is what l have been subjected to constantly for the last 11 years. Your posts have made me realize how much of a problem this is, and that l MUST change it. l am the only one who can. l cant keep myself from happiness forever because l am so freakin scared. lm not the one who did this to me, and they are gone. l cant keep letting it hurt me. For some reason this man is still around. We are not together, but he is there for me still and wants to see me. l have for the first time been honest with him about why l act the way l do, and that l have to take the time out for myself to fix it so l can be happy. He kept trying to figure me out, but he really knew nothing about me and l made it that way. l am going to start seeking counseling. Not for medication. Hopefully everything works out the best way it can. This man is unlike any other. So patient, understanding, caring, yet strong, and wise. lf anything he has been a godsend, because if he wasnt so concerned and patient with me l would very well be in the same position. So, Thank you. 2
TheNewMe2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 You see that and understand that - you are very lucky. Don't waste it/take advantage of it. I know it's hard - but you need to be as open as possible with him. Let him know that he has an effect on you (i.e. that you like him, that you lean on him, that he matters to you). Patient men, I think, are rare. They are special - but they don't ask much in return, but a little 'hope' or a little 'nugget' that shows that you like him goes along way and may result in even more than you can ever imagine from him.
Author thegreatesthumphrey Posted April 7, 2014 Author Posted April 7, 2014 Thank you so much for the support:) lt is his birthday soon, so l will make sure it is a special one as he gave me my first Valentines day and made it amazing:) 1
HappyLove Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Awww, good for you! There comes a time in life where no matter how badly someone has treated you, you have to get over it and do better for yourself or you'll never get out of that cycle and then your kids follow that cycle. Bravo to you for breaking the chains! I'm also glad you met a great guy to be there for you as well. One who truly respects and wants the best for you.
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