kamaki Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 4 weeks ago my fiancée split up with me, we also have a 3 year old son which makes the situation even harder. She used to love me so much… We met 5 years ago. Back then I owned a bar down in south Europe and she initially got attracted me as this guy who was very popular amongst girls and I choose her amongst a lot of other girls because she was the one I fell in love with and because I could feel how much she loved me. Then after some time together we got pregnant, I sold the bar and moved with her to her country UK to raise our child together as she wanted to be close to her family. In the end of the day I blame my self for pushing her away romantically in our relationship, I guess I felt to secure and got into a boring routine of just sitting home watching movies all the time, in the end we rarely had sex and when we did there was very little passion and we never kissed anymore. It was like we were just friends but still with jealousy and the love hidden behind this big wall. A year ago I got a bit attracted to another girl from my work and I had thoughts of breaking up with her because I was afraid that I would do something stupid with that girl but I realised that deep down I loved her more than anything and from that point I was confident that she would be the one I would spend the rest of my life with and shortly after I proposed to her and she said yes and we were very much in love again… happy days! Now 4 weeks ago, she told me that she wanted to split up, she explained that she think she was too young when we got a kid (19years) and she wants to go out and experience being single again and that she don’t want to look back and regret - she had basically lost the attraction of me and she thought it was the same for me, which it kind of was until this became reality. I was of course devastated; however I played it cool for a couple of weeks, taking my son out all the time, showing no interests in her, showed her that I can become popular again by going out and having fun, getting texts on social media from pretty girls all the time and soon, bought new clothes, started in the gym and making my self look good. I finally saw a feeling from her that indicated that I might be able to get her back and then last Sunday she asked me to go out for a few drinks, I agreed and we went out. On the date she kept asking how many girls I’ve slept with and basically just asking lots of questions about what I am doing etc. She even told me that she wants a piercing in her clit (she knows that I always wanted her to have that.) I was cheeky about it, flirting with her and she told me I would only get a chance to see that piercing if I didn’t sleep with too many other girls! I could definitely feel the chemistry was back, it was like when we first met and after that date I was in heaven and was really confident that I would get her back one day but then this weekend came… She went out Saturday night and I normally sleep at her house when I have my son over nights as I live in a house share at the moment so not ideal for 3 year old. But she came home 10am in the morning, I felt extremely jealous and a lot of thoughts went through my mind of where she had been, I knew the best thing would be to ignore and leave it, but my feelings took over and I felt in a trap and started questioned her, who, where, when, was it good etc. basically making my self look like an complete idiot ! But anyways, here I am more heartbroken than ever constantly imagining images in my head of her and that guy together, is he giving her sex with passion which I failed to do, is he better looking than me and so on. I just don’t feel good enough for her anymore. With all my questions that morning I found out that she is not looking to get into a relationship as that is the last thing she wants, but she has been seeing this guy a couple of times and they often txts each other. I am just afraid that now when she gets lonely I will not be the one who she texts anymore, but this other guy. It just hurts so much I can’t describe it ! She didn’t mean to go there while I was sleeping in her house, but she got very drunk and he came to pick her up and then she fell as sleep there and what ever they might have been doing ! ! I think the best thing for me to do now, is to give her space and go back to play it cool again, go out, date other girls, get my confidence back, show no interests in her but still spend a lot of time with our kid. The worst thing is that I have to see her every single day, so it just makes it harder for me to get over her. I know that if we do get back together I have learned by my mistakes and I would do anything I can to make her the happiest girl in the world. I also keep thinking that if it was me that had broken up with her, it would have been the other way around. Why does this have to be a game like this, it’s a cruel game that plays with you heart and mind and sometimes it makes me physically sick ! But I will not give up fighting I want my family back because it’s all that I live for, but what’s the best way to do it and do you think I even have a chance to get her back?
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