Girlboots Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 I've been too scared to ask my guy friends. I've been raised in an all woman household (7 females), and most of my friends are girls. The guys that I AM friends with are usually gay, so I kind of don't know much about guys! These might sound really dumb, but please answer truthfully!!! 1. Attention. If you and a girl are interested in each other, and you guys are in the phase where you're just getting to know each other and talking, would it be weird if the girl expects for you guys to communicate (txt, fb msg, email, phone, etc) everyday? Would it be inappropriate for her to be upset if you guys don't talk for 2 days? When does it get clingy? 2. Anger. If you guys fight, what is the best way to talk to the guy? Should she be direct and straight to the point or give you a few days to cool down? What should she NOT say, besides the obvious name calling? I usually try to talk to guys in a respectful way, but sometimes my point doesn't get across and I just get even more angry and I shut down. I don't know how to deal with guys AT ALL when I'm upset and they do something wrong, and this is probably the biggest issues guys have with me, but I don't know what to do! 3. Intimacy. Sleeping with a girl too soon, or waiting too long..do either of these affect whether or not you'll want to be with a girl? 4. Personality. This might sound weird, but I've noticed most of my bossy friends are married. Are guys attracted to bossiness in girls? I know this is all pretty subjective, but in general, what sort of personality are guys looking for? The girly feminine type? The nurturing care taker that will baby you? What if your girlfriend is shy and she gets very quiet around your guy friends? Is that a turn off? That's all I have to ask.
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 1. guys are not social creatures, and have other things they would rather do. Plus guys are aloof because they know if they get too clingy, you girls lose interest. 2.don't argue with a guy, just shut up and let it cool down. If it's worth discussing, then bring it up the next day. 3. No and yes. Most guys would be leery if a girl slept with them on the same night they start seeing each other. They will wonder if you will just sleep with just about anyone. There is no way of knowing how interested a guy is in you....you will just have to risk it. 4.Independent women are more attractive, because they are not clingy and needy. Guys would like to see more equality in relationships instead of them having to make the move or make the plans, or ask for dates. Guys do like a woman to take charge in the bedroom sometimes as well. It never gets boring. And guys will run away if things get boring. 1
Koopa Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 “He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” ― Bob Marley I think that answers all your questions 2
Valen Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 1. I'm fine with communicating everyday. I can only communicate when I'm not busy. It's excessive if she is expecting all day communications. Of course, in the early stages of the relationship like dating, you communicate less, but as you two get more exclusive, then daily communication is perfectly fine. I have a friend who is happily married. Her and her husband was inseparable the moment they met. So there is no rules you can't break. Just have to know how your partner is. 2. Talking with a guy, should be direct. We don't like to beat around the bush. Give it to us straight. If it's reasonable we don't have a problem fixing. When we get angry it is best to let us calm down a bit first before engaging in discussion again. Unlike females, we don't hold grudges as long. We will more than likely to drop the issue and move on. 3. Try not to sleep with a guy too soon, by that I mean less than 4 dates roughly. 3 weeks is good enough. Don't make him wait for months to get action or else he'll just get frustrated or maybe think you're just stringing him alone. Not all guys will leave if you make them wait long. You have to go at the pace you are comfortable with. Finding someone who is compatible with you on a sexual level is important too so there is not a right and wrong answer here. But the general rule is waiting longer is better than jumping into bed too soon. 4. Yes some guys are attracted to bitches. It's a turn on. But you don't have to be like that. If you are playful and you can poke fun of the guy back, that is sexy too. If you are shy and timid that can be attractive too. Every guys' tastes is different. There is no one type fits all. So don't worry about being something you are not, you are fine the way you are. In fact, more guys dislike bitches or bossy type. Men like to be the one in control not the other way around. The qualities I tend to look for are playful, affectionate, kind, smart, thoughtful, strong willed, spontaneous and adventurous. But the most important qualities I fancy in a girl are honesty and faithfulness. 1
Mo_Do Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 I'd say 90% of the girls I am "getting to know" like continuous daily interaction. Hell, I have one on the go that I haven't even met texting me daily, all day from morning to night, even taking random pictures and sending those to me too. Is that weird? 1
Mrin Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Sure thing. Here you go: 1. Attention: i say just be upfront about what you want and find out what he wants. I need some sort of connection daily. If I don't have it I lose connection and interest. Doesn't have to be much though. Just be open. 2. Anger: I can't speak for all men but I react very negatively to yelling, name calling or what I would call awfulizing - putting the absolute worst spin on my actions or their intent. I guess one general observation is that men don't respect immediate emotion. By that I mean, we aren't interested that you're upset but rather interested in why you are upset. It is okay if the cause of you being upset is emotional (e.g. You felt ignored). We will just focus on what made you feel that way. It is a nuance but an important one as I am pretty sure it comes off as men being uncaring and heartless. Just remember, we are wired to "fix things" or in lieu of that, figure out what happened and avoid doing it in the future. Also, crying is cheating... Do with it what you will. Intimacy: oh men are all over the charts on this. I do think sex on the first or second date is probably not a good idea. But there is a point in every relationship where that intimate connection needs to be made and if you go too far beyond that point then the relationship becomes stunted IMHO. For me it isn't the number of dates but just the level of connection. It usually falls around dates 3 - 6. 4. Personality: I like women who are bada$$es. Feminine, but assertive, confident, smart and funny. Submissive types don't do it for me at all. OMG no. 1
soccerrprp Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 1. Attention. If you and a girl are interested in each other, and you guys are in the phase where you're just getting to know each other and talking, would it be weird if the girl expects for you guys to communicate (txt, fb msg, email, phone, etc) everyday? Would it be inappropriate for her to be upset if you guys don't talk for 2 days? When does it get clingy? Not weird, but talking every day may be a little too much. I said talking. If the communication is a few texts or an email per day, I wouldn't mind. In fact, texting a little every day is what I have experienced most often. This is early in the dating/getting-to-know-each other phase. As things get more serious, more phone calls are expected. 2. Anger. If you guys fight, what is the best way to talk to the guy? Should she be direct and straight to the point or give you a few days to cool down? What should she NOT say, besides the obvious name calling? I usually try to talk to guys in a respectful way, but sometimes my point doesn't get across and I just get even more angry and I shut down. I don't know how to deal with guys AT ALL when I'm upset and they do something wrong, and this is probably the biggest issues guys have with me, but I don't know what to do! I don't get "angry" per say, but, for me, it's best to talk about sooner than later. 3. Intimacy. Sleeping with a girl too soon, or waiting too long..do either of these affect whether or not you'll want to be with a girl? No. If my intentions are to have a LTR, I will stick around regardless of when we have sex. I've had sex on the first date and later, but always with the intent to have a LTR. I'm in my 40s, I know what I want and I am open about getting physical early. Not a test... 4. Personality. This might sound weird, but I've noticed most of my bossy friends are married. Are guys attracted to bossiness in girls? I know this is all pretty subjective, but in general, what sort of personality are guys looking for? The girly feminine type? The nurturing care taker that will baby you? What if your girlfriend is shy and she gets very quiet around your guy friends? Is that a turn off? Not bossiness. Confidence. Guys don't want a bossy girlfriend. I suspect that these married couples are very in tune with who they are and know each other very well. What you see as bossiness may be a man recognizing and accepting who their wives are and how they are. My wife used to get on me about things, but never in a mean and disrespectful way. It was normal and acceptable. If there is overt disrespect...well, that's another issue all together. That's all I have to ask. My answers are within your post in bold. 1
Author Girlboots Posted December 29, 2014 Author Posted December 29, 2014 thanks for the responses. i would love to receive more
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 (edited) I've been too scared to ask my guy friends. I've been raised in an all woman household (7 females), and most of my friends are girls. The guys that I AM friends with are usually gay, so I kind of don't know much about guys! These might sound really dumb, but please answer truthfully!!! 1. Attention. If you and a girl are interested in each other, and you guys are in the phase where you're just getting to know each other and talking, would it be weird if the girl expects for you guys to communicate (txt, fb msg, email, phone, etc) everyday? Would it be inappropriate for her to be upset if you guys don't talk for 2 days? When does it get clingy? Not too clingy as long as she lets me know she would like to speak or text every day, instead of expecting me to read her mind and she flies off the handle when she doesn't receive a text for 2 days. 2. Anger. If you guys fight, what is the best way to talk to the guy? Should she be direct and straight to the point or give you a few days to cool down? What should she NOT say, besides the obvious name calling? I usually try to talk to guys in a respectful way, but sometimes my point doesn't get across and I just get even more angry and I shut down. I don't know how to deal with guys AT ALL when I'm upset and they do something wrong, and this is probably the biggest issues guys have with me, but I don't know what to do! Major fights should not happen in good relationships. I know GOOD married couples and they do not have many major fights, if any. I have not fought with most of the women I've dated, which is a miniscule pool sure. But if you fight with every person you are dating, the common denominator is you. 3. Intimacy. Sleeping with a girl too soon, or waiting too long..do either of these affect whether or not you'll want to be with a girl? No effect. No time is too soon and believe me baby, I can hold out as long as I have to. 4. Personality. This might sound weird, but I've noticed most of my bossy friends are married. Are guys attracted to bossiness in girls? I know this is all pretty subjective, but in general, what sort of personality are guys looking for? The girly feminine type? The nurturing care taker that will baby you? What if your girlfriend is shy and she gets very quiet around your guy friends? Is that a turn off? Depends on the guy. But in general, men are looking for laid back women. That's all I have to ask. :love::sick: Edited December 29, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember
Andy_K Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 4. Personality. This might sound weird, but I've noticed most of my bossy friends are married. Are guys attracted to bossiness in girls? All is not always what it seems. I know personally at least two guys who are only married because the girl is so bossy and demanding. In each case she demanded they either get married within a year or split up, and he caved in and decided to get married. Does that really sound like a positive, happy marriage? Something you'd be envious of? How much **** a guy will put up with in a relationship is often directly related to how much effort it would take him to replace said girlfriend.
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