JourneyLady Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 It's interesting. Of the last three guys I've gone out with, each one has given forth with more than one red flag, or I've felt they were unsuitable for other reasons. Invariably with all three I was honest and upfront and let them know I wouldn't be seeing them anymore. One of them I even only had ONE date with. All three felt they had to come back with some sort of put-down... Here they are. The first was on the phone, so his take on my finding he was still looking was "You're SPYING on me?" (I found out by accident, pulling my othersite profile that had been hidden for some time before I met him.) Here's the other two... "I hope you find someone who meets your NEEDS" and the last, from an old guy. "Bipolar, eh? Oh well." It seems like a regular thing that I have come to expect when I let go of someone, even when we weren't actually dating. I know rejection is hard, but I always wish them well and good luck. In return I get the "put down". Hate to say this, but it actually makes me feel better because it looks so immature on their part. If I'm apologetic about it not working out, it seems petty to be mean in return. I don't want to be with someone that petty anyhow, so it just confirms my choices. On the last one, we were getting on pretty well, but he was long distance and I had my doubts about it but was deciding to go for it, when he showed impatience and pushiness on our last conversation. Also he was trying to push me into one of his passions, while showing absolutely no interest in mine. I didn't mention that, but I said "age and distance and other factors". (He was older than me by 12 years and 7 hours away.) I chose not to answer him and delete the message. He may have been trying to see if I'd defend myself, in retrospect. But no... not worth the effort. People don't do this if you don't want to push someone away for good. There's always the chance a person might reconsider down the road or their situation changes or something else changes... If you're insulting, it just closes that book for good. In addition, it's a small world! One of their friends might think about dating you, but then get told how nasty you were at the end...
soccerrprp Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Yeah, men and many women don't take rejection easily or kindly. Especially if they feel that there was no good reason for it. When I break up or get a rejection for whatever reason, I never burn bridges. Not b/c I want to get back with them in the future, but b/c I really believe in maintaining positive relationships with healthy people. In the end, most don't want to remain friends, which is smart. 1
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