thelastimperator Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 I’m sorry to bother, but I just need an outlet for my feelings This will be long, so sit back and relax. We go to the same school. We are of the same age. And it all happened 2 years ago. Two years ago, I first met her in a School Event. The first time I saw her, I immediately noticed that something is special about her. Her looks, her gestures, it's like I've known her for many years. I paid no attention because at that time, I got my eyes fixed at another girl whom I never talked to. That time, I was worried about what will I feel after that another girl graduates? That another girl graduated few months later but luckily, I never felt sad. Talking about this new girl, I developed a crush for her about A year and a half ago. I never knew what's with her, but I just felt it. Maybe its because she's my opposite. I was the best when It comes to Science, Math, History and Critical Thinking. She excels at Arts, Dancing, Singing, and Music, the four subjects where I totally suck. I guess she filled the missing parts of my personality. That's why I like her. She got a BF. But six months ago, she broke with him because the lamebrain impregnated a whore. I saw a moment of opportunity, but never took it because I'm too afraid, afraid of rejection. Also, I never had a relationship with someone before, and I don't know how that works. I continued with my life, using her as an inspiration in all of my undertakings. She became the banner in my battles. She inspired me. She motivated me. She gave me a cause for which I fight on. I was a successful man because of her, winning 80% of the contests I join and becoming the Class Valedictorian. I owe her big time but I never talked to her because I'm scared. A month ago, as our graduation falls short of days, I felt a sudden sting of regret. I never imagined that the thought of never seeing her again can be so painful. Its because my separation with other girl which I admired few years back ( refer to paragraph no. 3) wasn't very painful. I underestimated the strength of the affection that I feel. I knew I dont love her because I dont know her that very well. But man, what I feel is strong. For collage, I'm going to the capital of our country. I heard she doesn't want to go to collage because she wanted to devout her time to serving God ( no, she's not a nun) . Even so, the bottom line is, I'm never going to see her again (except in reunions where I will probably see her already married with someone else). Anyways, after our graduation, I was finally able to summon my courage and admit to my classmates that I got a thing for her. They supported me, all of them and even said that they will help me, but I think its too late. I dont know if she got the news of my revelation but after the graduation, I never saw her again and never got the chance to tell her personally. I constantly go to school after graduation to clear all my requirements and also to see her. But never did. I guess she's busy preparing for the Holy Week ( she's a server of the altar). Recently, I sent her a friend request on facebook ( If you think that's weak, let me tell you that I got all my friends in facebook by accepting them, not sending friend requests because I'm kind of an introvert.). She accepted and I was very happy. I figured, she's going to claim her diploma somehow, so I plan to continue my constant visit to school. I plan that when I see her, I will thank her for inspiring me. I will say goodbye and good luck. And that's it, nothing else. To do that I need huge amount of courage, luckily, I've been storing for the past week. I don't know what will happen but I guess I have to do it. But even so, I guess that won't be enough to put out the fire in my heart. I'll be missing her for all my life. What should I do?
gaius Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Why not instead of vomiting out all your feelings for her and how she inspires you just ask her to grab a coffee with you sometime instead?
Author thelastimperator Posted April 5, 2014 Author Posted April 5, 2014 (edited) I never see her personally again Edited April 5, 2014 by thelastimperator
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