pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Why do you think this? According to threads on LS hot women have more confidence than other women and it's the guys that are too afraid to approach because of their hotness. Because "hotness" is in the eye the beholder. You tell me - does your girl sound like she's confident? Self assured? Do confident women spend all their time making their man justify every little action? Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Yes. Thanks. I have to admit I don't like reporting to her like this, but until I think of a way to stop it I can't do much about it... There is though. I can write you a script. Her: "Who are you going out with?" You: "Out with (insert name here)." Her: "Will you text me when you get there, so I know you're telling the truth?" You: "No. I told you whom I'm going out with. I will be home at X time. I will call if I am running late or get stuck. I love you, have a good night." Then turn off your phone. Oh, and don't lie about where you're going, always tell the truth. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 Well this friend and I used to spend a lot if time together, and I helped her out a lot with her daughter... then she met my current girlfriend at university through a mutual friend and introduced her to the group. They became quite good friends and all seemed fine until I started dating my girlfriend, then there was a fight between them and they haven't made up as yet. I don't know why ... made she is jealous about the time that I have spent with her in the past or something. Simple. Explain why her behaviour is inappropriate. Tell her one time where you're going. Then, stop checking in with her. If she loses her mind, that is her problem. Not yours. What she's doing is controlling and unacceptable, in my opinion. I wouldn't tolerate that for a second. Only you can decide if you like that in your relationship. Why does she get so bent out of shape about this particular friend, anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Well this friend and I used to spend a lot if time together, and I helped her out a lot with her daughter... then she met my current girlfriend at university through a mutual friend and introduced her to the group. They became quite good friends and all seemed fine until I started dating my girlfriend, then there was a fight between them and they haven't made up as yet. I don't know why ... made she is jealous about the time that I have spent with her in the past or something. Bingo. She views this girl as a threat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 Because "hotness" is in the eye the beholder. You tell me - does your girl sound like she's confident? Self assured? Do confident women spend all their time making their man justify every little action? No. It isn't always some girls are just hot any way you slice it. I sometimes just like logging into her profile and reading her relationship status over and over... I literally can't believe I am with such a beautiful girl! Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Well this friend and I used to spend a lot if time together, and I helped her out a lot with her daughter... then she met my current girlfriend at university through a mutual friend and introduced her to the group. They became quite good friends and all seemed fine until I started dating my girlfriend, then there was a fight between them and they haven't made up as yet. I don't know why ... made she is jealous about the time that I have spent with her in the past or something. So let me get this straight You have a friend lets call her Clare - before you met your girlfriend you spent lots of time with Clare and her child. You then met your girlfriend Lucy - introduced them, they had a fall out and haven't made up? Why did they fall out? What was the argument about? Sounds to me as if Clare maybe developed feelings for you, your girlfriend saw this and developed an issue with her and you spending time with her and making you "check in" Like the other guys said... Grow some backbone. You aren't her toy, you don't answer to her and if she doesn't like it she can go and find someone else to control. If you allow her to carry on this will get far worse than a text to check in Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 No. It isn't always some girls are just hot any way you slice it. I sometimes just like logging into her profile and reading her relationship status over and over... I literally can't believe I am with such a beautiful girl! Dude reality check... She may look hot but if her insides aren't too hot that just makes the girl rotten and you blind 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 No. It isn't always some girls are just hot any way you slice it. I sometimes just like logging into her profile and reading her relationship status over and over... I literally can't believe I am with such a beautiful girl! Oh Christ....this ought to be fun. So, you're going to neglect your friend because your gf doesn't like her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 Almost. Claire and I had been friends for 3 years. About a year ago another friend introduced Claire and Lucy and then Lucy joined our group. A couple of months ago Lucy started showing interest in me, holding hands, making out etc. So we started dating recently and then Lucy and Claire had a fallout. Another friend, Mike, told me it was about me and Claire was worried it would make things weird within the group. I had lunch with Claire and she bashed Lucy. Told me Lucy would dump me as soon as she found someone better. But she sounded bitter that I wouldn't have as much time for her and her daughter. Do it could have just been the bitterness talking. I am hoping this whole thing blows over and we can all be friends again. I don't think she had feelings for me as she had 3 years to make her feelings known and didn't. So let me get this straight You have a friend lets call her Clare - before you met your girlfriend you spent lots of time with Clare and her child. You then met your girlfriend Lucy - introduced them, they had a fall out and haven't made up? Why did they fall out? What was the argument about? Sounds to me as if Clare maybe developed feelings for you, your girlfriend saw this and developed an issue with her and you spending time with her and making you "check in" Like the other guys said... Grow some backbone. You aren't her toy, you don't answer to her and if she doesn't like it she can go and find someone else to control. If you allow her to carry on this will get far worse than a text to check in Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 Oh Christ....this ought to be fun. So, you're going to neglect your friend because your gf doesn't like her? I'm hoping it won't come to that. I would prefer it if we could all go back to being friends. If it does come to that, wow it will be tough... but then I might have to reevaluate everything and see what's the best way forward. Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Almost. Claire and I had been friends for 3 years. About a year ago another friend introduced Claire and Lucy and then Lucy joined our group. A couple of months ago Lucy started showing interest in me, holding hands, making out etc. So we started dating recently and then Lucy and Claire had a fallout. Another friend, Mike, told me it was about me and Claire was worried it would make things weird within the group. I had lunch with Claire and she bashed Lucy. Told me Lucy would dump me as soon as she found someone better. But she sounded bitter that I wouldn't have as much time for her and her daughter. Do it could have just been the bitterness talking. I am hoping this whole thing blows over and we can all be friends again. I don't think she had feelings for me as she had 3 years to make her feelings known and didn't. Women are odd creatures and someone can spend time with you and until that close time is gone she may well not have realised she had feelings for you beyond friends... You can't be bitter without reasoning... Put your girlfriend back in her box, friends are worth more than lovers. If she's got a problem she's welcome to go and find some other guy whose obsessed with her even more who won't care that she's a bit bonkers 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 I'm hoping it won't come to that. I would prefer it if we could all go back to being friends. If it does come to that, wow it will be tough... but then I might have to reevaluate everything and see what's the best way forward. *shakes head* Keep us posted. I have a feeling you're about to learn some valuable life lessons. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 A lot of people seem to be saying things along the lines of: She's hot but is she really worth it, how much is sex with a hot girl worth, she better be really hot because you are losing your dignity etc... I'd just like to respond to these sentiments. I'm not only with her because she's hot. But sure, that's a factor. I might never get to have sex with such a hot girl again. I can't deny that factors into my thinking. What is it worth? Depends who you ask, but to guys like me it's a once in a lifetime event, so it's worth a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 A lot of people seem to be saying things along the lines of: She's hot but is she really worth it, how much is sex with a hot girl worth, she better be really hot because you are losing your dignity etc... I'd just like to respond to these sentiments. I'm not only with her because she's hot. But sure, that's a factor. I might never get to have sex with such a hot girl again. I can't deny that factors into my thinking. What is it worth? Depends who you ask, but to guys like me it's a once in a lifetime event, so it's worth a lot. Worth handing her your balls to keep in a jar? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 A lot of people seem to be saying things along the lines of: She's hot but is she really worth it, how much is sex with a hot girl worth, she better be really hot because you are losing your dignity etc... I'd just like to respond to these sentiments. I'm not only with her because she's hot. But sure, that's a factor. I might never get to have sex with such a hot girl again. I can't deny that factors into my thinking. What is it worth? Depends who you ask, but to guys like me it's a once in a lifetime event, so it's worth a lot. I think you're doing exactly what is expected at your age. Her immaturity and your unwillingness to stand up for yourself will mean that you're unlikely to create a situation of mutual respect, which is an essential foundation for a successful relationship. So, the question becomes, how emotionally strong are you to see this through to its inevitable conclusion? Do you get out now, and maybe rescue some dignity? Do you put your foot down and "train" her in good behaviour, hoping for the best? Or do you allow looks to blind you until she inevitably spits you out, a shell of your former self? Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 If you have no respect from her then what's the point in the relationship? Literally all you are doing is bonking because she hot because you have zero mutual respect. She may be hot, she may be once in a lifetime hot however if you don't set her straight you won't be with her long anyway. Eventually you will get sick to death of her moaning and whining at you and you'll bin her anyway. Surely you'd rather create a stable happy relationship with her rather than beating your chest and telling everyone how hot she is. Hotness isn't everything - most extremely "I know I'm hot" people are selfish jackasses be they male or female. You can't hand your balls over to her or you may as well put a lead and collar on and hand it too her Are you going to give up all your friendships because she's jealous? Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 lumo Same happened to me. I was swooning every time i saw a picture of this woman made of all my soft parts sigh......... fast forward a bit.........i become a wreck. lose my friends, my mind. Took a while to see she was the one looking at me constantly! This will end badly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 If you have no respect from her then what's the point in the relationship? Literally all you are doing is bonking because she hot because you have zero mutual respect. She may be hot, she may be once in a lifetime hot however if you don't set her straight you won't be with her long anyway. Eventually you will get sick to death of her moaning and whining at you and you'll bin her anyway. Surely you'd rather create a stable happy relationship with her rather than beating your chest and telling everyone how hot she is. Hotness isn't everything - most extremely "I know I'm hot" people are selfish jackasses be they male or female. You can't hand your balls over to her or you may as well put a lead and collar on and hand it too her Are you going to give up all your friendships because she's jealous? I have to disagree just with the bolded part of your post. I reckon she'll dump him first - citing "trust" issues. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 lumo Same happened to me. I was swooning every time i saw a picture of this woman made of all my soft parts sigh......... fast forward a bit.........i become a wreck. lose my friends, my mind. Took a while to see she was the one looking at me constantly! This will end badly. I was hoping you'd drop by this thread, you have a wealth of experience to impart to the OP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 I have to disagree just with the bolded part of your post. I reckon she'll dump him first - citing "trust" issues. Oh I definitely agree she probably will Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 Thanks for the reply man. I'm sorry to hear about what you went through. I'm hoping my situation is different and I won't go down the same path. As a side note... I've read a lot of your posts. I don't think you would have a huge problem finding another hot girl. Me on the other hand... It's a tough choice. And I really love this girl. lumo Same happened to me. I was swooning every time i saw a picture of this woman made of all my soft parts sigh......... fast forward a bit.........i become a wreck. lose my friends, my mind. Took a while to see she was the one looking at me constantly! This will end badly. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Ever thought your R might involve rather too much drama for one that isn't even a month old, OP? The first few months are usually the honeymoon stage. If this is what your honeymoon is like.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Thanks for the reply man. I'm sorry to hear about what you went through. I'm hoping my situation is different and I won't go down the same path. As a side note... I've read a lot of your posts. I don't think you would have a huge problem finding another hot girl. Me on the other hand... It's a tough choice. And I really love this girl. I think what you need to take from his post, is that physical looks are not enough to make up for a horrible personality. You've half-heartedly attempted to explain that she has other good qualities, but at the end of the day, you keep coming back to the fact that she's "hot". You're thinking with your pecker. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Thanks for the reply man. I'm sorry to hear about what you went through. I'm hoping my situation is different and I won't go down the same path. As a side note... I've read a lot of your posts. I don't think you would have a huge problem finding another hot girl. Me on the other hand... It's a tough choice. And I really love this girl. You really love her after a month? Oh crikey! Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Wow. Some people really do need to learn the hard way, and others never learn at all unfortunately. Good luck OP, I genuinely hope you can manage to reach a more logical head space someday. Link to post Share on other sites
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