ascendotum Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 She's being totally open and honest with you about the fact that she is comfortable being a recreational drug user. Now you just have to decide if you can accept that, or not. ^ I have same thoughts. Its to you OP if this is a problem. Its not really a bunch of strangers on LS to say. Its more of a moral/principles issue imo. I'm not going to give a lecture on drug use, that's her biz and you can leave the relationship at a point where the negatives outweigh the benefits, but I do think her buying product off a random guy in a club is stupid. Some here said you could get busted being her bf. In US if you are out with friends or share a house and one is doing drugs can all his/her friends there be charged with possession? That's ridiculous if true.
pickflicker Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I was working in advertising when I was 23, I did coke with my employers. It was awesome. Haven't used it in years though. I realised it was so much fun, I didn't want do it anymore. Most people go through an experimental phase. I never would have taken it from a stranger, but having said that, usage does not equal addiction. I wouldn't go near the stuff now, and I'm a functioning, tax-paying member of society, suffering no long-term effects. It is possible to use drugs, then stop using drugs, and a better person for the experience. Keep an eye on it, if it gets out of hand, deal with it. 1
pickflicker Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 You'd be surprised. Pretty females never pay for coke. I was never charged. It was part of our "salary".
D-Lish Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 It's weird, coke disappeared for a long time and has come back on the scene. I manage a lot of young girls that confide in me daily, and without a filter. Coke is back, and they hide the fact that they do it from their boyfriends. Do they cheat while on it, or get themselves in precarious situations? Yes, every weekend without fail. Is this a one time thing with the coke? No, lol- you'd be stupid to think otherwise. I hear the Monday morning stories week after week- they go out, and they do stuff that they don't tell their boyfriends about. You can bet that what she is telling you is less than 10% of what really happened.
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 All that matters is that this is a dealbreaker for you. You can't 'forbid' an adult from doing something, but you can make your feelings on the topic known and then decide what to do if she continues to use. I work with people who are dependent on substances for a living, have a family history of dependency (lost my mother to alcoholism) and smoked weed casually as a teenager (not for four years now! and that wasn't an effort to stop, it just stopped) but I would not date a drug user any more. I found out my ex was more than an occasional weed smoker a month or two into our relationship, and decided to try live with it because I loved him. We ended up splitting and I wish I'd just put my foot down and moved on when I found out about the substance use. I don't judge people who misuse drugs. I don't have a value or moral judgement on somebody who chooses to smoke weed or use Heroin. Many people have a really difficult ride and take substances to try and blot out the pain. Some people take them because they enjoy it, but by the time you're interacting with substance services you've probably lost control and it's causing you some problems. I just don't want it in a partner, we're not compatible. I wound up so skewed by my ex that I was thinking 'well, drug use is normal, who am I to decide it's bad?' despite having been through losing a parent to addiction. Looking back now I'm amazed I didn't want better for myself. Not every person takes drugs. My new boyfriend doesn't touch anything except for very moderate alcohol and it's the most attractive thing.
ThatMan Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 (edited) Eclypse, man, I'm worried about you. What freaks me out the most are your priorities. You seem more worried about the prospects of her being hit on by other men than the fact she's completely ruining her life. Think about more than your penis. So what if she's hot? Crack isn't a soft recreational drug. Crack addicts aren't hot. Crack addicts are hot messes. Think about how many crack addicts actually LOOK attractive. She won't be able to keep up her appearances for much longer as she continues this nonsense. What then? All it takes is one speeding ticket with some of her cocaine/drug paraphernalia for you to be convicted of criminal charges. You're responsible for your own stuff. What goes on inside of your car, your place of residence, or in your life absolutely is your business. You are obligated to demand that this doesn't go on. Edited April 3, 2014 by ThatMan 2
RonaldS Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Eclypse, man, I'm worried about you. What freaks me out the most are your priorities. You seem more worried about the prospects of her being hit on by other men than the fact she's completely ruining her life. Think about more than your penis. So what if she's hot? Crack isn't a soft recreational drug. Crack addicts aren't hot. Crack addicts are hot messes. Think about how many crack addicts actually LOOK attractive. She won't be able to keep up her appearances for much longer as she continues this nonsense. What then? All it takes is one speeding ticket with some of her cocaine/drug paraphernalia for you to be convicted of criminal charges. You're responsible for your own stuff. What goes on inside of your car, your place of residence, or in your life absolutely is your business. You are obligated to demand that this doesn't go on. Crack? Where in the hell are you getting crack from? You're making stuff up, man. She isn't out doing crack. She did a couple bumps of blow with a guy in a bar, not hit a pipe with a bunch of burn-out dropouts and thugs in an abandoned house. Come on. Whatever your stance on drugs is, a LOT of people do them. And when it comes to coke, a LOT of people do it, and they tend to be successful. I've worked for numerous heavy hitter business types, heads of law firms, etc....a majority of them did blow routinely. Wake up. Drugs aren't something that only the losers do because they have nothing to lose....people like to feel good, and rich successful people like to feel good, and coke is a helluva drug. Let's tone down the hyperbole.
HappyLove Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Crack & cocaine are made from the same plant! The only difference is the level of refinement. So yes, she's a crackhead. 1
RonaldS Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Crack & cocaine are made from the same plant! The only difference is the level of refinement. So yes, she's a crackhead. Post hoc ergo propter hoc. Wow. 3
ThatMan Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 (edited) I'm not making anything up. Cocaine does the same exact thing once it hits the blood stream. Whether or not she's dealing with the freebase stuff won't change that. Not to mention it seems like Eclypse hasn't got a clue what goes on in her life beyond what she tells him. Using cocaine recreationally is living on the brink between partying and fun versus complete and utter train wrecks. Some people use recreationally and move on with life while others don't. Even made men sometimes spiral downwards on occasion. She doesn't need to be the stereotypical coke fiend your imagining to really mess herself up. And I doubt you've ever done something with your life if you cannot understand what a hard drug is. Unless you were a mail delivery boy for some law firm, which I also doubt. Most well-adjusted adult understand the difference between a soft drug and a hard drug. Real men won't try to deny the very real effects of cocaine but they simply don't care - they just want to have fun and they don't feel insecure about the downsides. Each and every person has every right to take control of what goes on in their own life. Looking after yourself doesn't need a negative spin on it of being a jealous/controlling creep. Edited April 3, 2014 by ThatMan 1
RonaldS Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I'm not making anything up. Cocaine does the same exact thing once it hits the blood stream. Whether or not she's dealing with the freebase stuff won't change that. Not to mention it seems like Eclypse hasn't got a clue what goes on in her life beyond what she tells him. Using cocaine recreationally is living on the brink between partying and fun versus complete and utter train wrecks. Some people use recreationally and move on with life while others don't. Even made men sometimes spiral downwards on occasion. She doesn't need to be the stereotypical coke fiend your imagining to really mess herself up. And I doubt you've ever done something with your life if you cannot understand what a hard drug is. Unless you were a mail delivery boy for some law firm, which I also doubt. Most well-adjusted adult understand the difference between a soft drug and a hard drug. Real men won't try to deny the very real effects of cocaine but they simply don't care - they just want to have fun and they don't feel insecure about the downsides. Each and every person has every right to take control of what goes on in their own life. Looking after yourself doesn't need a negative spin on it of being a jealous/controlling creep. Hahaha! GTFO, kid. You doubt I've ever done anything with my life? How ignorant are you? Let me answer that: completely. 1
InnocentMan Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 (edited) I don't think the OP was looking for lectures on the dangers of drugs, or how his gf is probably lying, and most likely banged this guy. I think his primary concern was her taking free drugs from a strange man in a nightclub, and the possible pitfalls from this. Whether he wants to be with someone who takes drugs is his business, and perhaps people should just save their comments for what's actually concerning him. He probably should have a conversation with her about the consequences of taking free drugs from strangers. Edited April 3, 2014 by InnocentMan
bubbaganoosh Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I should have said that I don't like the fact that she uses drugs in the first place! I do believe that she only does it once every few months, since we live together so almost always together. I'm not happy about it but I don't think there's much I can do about it. Yeah you can. You tell her that the drug use is over as of now and any more and she's gone. Think about it. Some guy slips her a bag of coke just for the hell of it and she accepts it. She might have the looks and the body but no common sense and you need to stop looking from the neck down because your not seeing the important part. Her mind set. She's asking for trouble.
TouchedByViolet Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 It's weird, coke disappeared for a long time and has come back on the scene. I manage a lot of young girls that confide in me daily, and without a filter. Coke is back, and they hide the fact that they do it from their boyfriends. Do they cheat while on it, or get themselves in precarious situations? Yes, every weekend without fail. Is this a one time thing with the coke? No, lol- you'd be stupid to think otherwise. I hear the Monday morning stories week after week- they go out, and they do stuff that they don't tell their boyfriends about. You can bet that what she is telling you is less than 10% of what really happened. Wows. What type of company is this and are they hiring... my life is so bland lol 1
startinganew777 Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I used to do drugs. A whole lot of them. I did more than what everyone "thought" I did. And the things I did while on drugs, wow, I could write a book about it and nobody would believe it. You can't trust an addict. That is all there is to it. Or even an occasional user. She is getting drugs from a complete stranger in the bathroom at a club? She does not have her head on straight and not in any place to have a healthy relationship anytime soon. Good luck. You are going to need it as long as you are with her.
jay1983 Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 This thread isn't gonna make too much difference. OP ain't leaving this chick. Even if we all got on here and told him in caps "DON'T PUT UP WITH THIS" the most he'll probably do is tell her that he's doesn't like her doing it.
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 While I'm actually for the legalization of ALL drugs including cocaine and believe people are adults and should be able to do what they want, I wouldn't be involved in a serious relationship with someone that uses the harder drugs, or even some of the lighter stuff regularly. 1
ascendotum Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Post hoc ergo propter hoc. Wow. My auntie became a smack junkie, when the doctor put her on morphine patches for her back pain.
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 My auntie became a smack junkie, when the doctor put her on morphine patches for her back pain. I take prescribed morphine from the pain clinic for a chronic pain condition. I take it as prescribed, and don't touch illicit substances. It doesn't affect my life negatively in any way, and I barely feel the effects any more mentally, just the pain relief. It helps me to lead a normal life. I'm not sure what the point of your post was?
Leigh 87 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 In Berlin a guy feely gave my drugs. He spent the night with me, the entire night hanging out with me, hoping that things would lead to a relationship and/or hook up. Then the other guy who shared drugs.... yeah, in Berlin also, I remember he too was also hoping to hook up with me. With my ex, I scored speed but I paid full price since the guy who sold it had no intention of sleeping with me. Late last year I had a man who was head over heels in love with me who I didn't feel the same way about who paid me PAY my share for coke, but actually he ended up giving me way more then I paid for. Read up on google, " experiences of hot girls getting free drugs" beautiful women tend have this affect on men, just look at all the famous models who admitted that drugs were freely handed to them and even encouraged; do you think they would have been offered free coke if they were hideous looking? Anyways I won't get into your relationship but if this drug taking from men in toilet cues continues then it is safe to say that this girl isn't for you, given the type of guy you appear to be........
Leigh 87 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Oh and Eclypse, Some people change for their partner. My ex quit drinking and partying for his new girl, he is going to Europe and is not going to party once at age 27, purely because SHE wanted him to change. Partying around the world and taking cocaine overseas was my exes dream! Yet he gave it up for her. I would have given up my recreational habit for my ex at the time if he had wanted me to. Also, I could go months without taking speed, but when I took it I snorted up the whole damn thing and asked for more more more, I was insatiable once I STARTED....... her binges may be infrequent but she may go hard when she IS at it...... Drugs are never safe or rational, I am to grateful I gave them up.
mr_dave Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Drug taking is pathetic, a mug's game. How bland/boring must your life be to start using them? If you want a lasting high, climb a mountain or run a marathon. 1
NGC1300 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Yes, I'd be extremely concerned if my partner was doing drugs. That's a complete deal breaker for me. Oh geez, here we go again. I suppose alcohol and caffeine are deal breakers for you too? Sorry to be snide, but one thing about most people's mentality is that it's only a "drug" if it's illegal.
NGC1300 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 You're okay that she uses drugs??!?! OMG. Everyone uses drugs in some form or another. I grew up in the D.A.R.E. era as well, but there comes a point where you have to realize that drugs don't have magical powers. Not everyone who takes a drug ends up sleeping behind dumpsters in back alleys.
NGC1300 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 People that use drugs are losers... there is no if ands or buts. Because Steve Jobs died a loser. The only people who are losers are those who make sweeping generalizations. 1
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