True Gent Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Hi guys, I've been pretty quiet on here for a good few weeks. I've been focusing on rebuilding my life since the demise of my 9 yr relationship. We split in November and we're just into April now so I'm a few months in. Good things so far are, I've got a new place to live and it's lovely. I really love this house! A true fresh start. I've treat myself to new gadgets, home cinema, smart TV, PS3, new furniture etc... I've socialised plenty with my good friends. I've been on dates. I'll be taking up my cycling again after a slight dip due to moving house etc... The two dogs we used to share are now in the care of her mum wile the ex is in America for a while (we live in the uk). Yet I still get to see the dogs and have them stay over at my convenience without any hassle or ties. Things are pretty peachy at the moment... Yet all of a sudden this last week I've noticed I seem to be thinking of her again. I don't know why, I do not want her anymore. The problem is I don't seem to want anyone else either. It's like I'm starting to notice something is missing from my life. I haven't felt this since the move, but now I just feel a bit empty. I'm a little worried I won't be able to fully believe in love again. Kinda feel like if she could do what she did to me after our time together, what hope is there someone else won't crap all over me too? Is the fairy tale possible? I'm just suddenly missing who was meant to be my life companion when everything was going so well. I cried a lot yesterday, I haven't cried in about 2 months. I hope this is just a sentimental set back or something. I really want to progress here...
StGeorge22 Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I know exactly what you mean. After how my ex hurt me I don't want her back either, but I also don't want to be with anyone else. And I too and pretty scared that If my ex can do this to me, who is to say it won't happen again with someone else. But I'm not going to live in fear. I'm just going to live my life day by day and do things that make me happy. It sounds like you are doing the same, I wouldn't stress, sounds like just a bit of a setback which Is natural. How have your dates been going?
jphcbpa Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I would see this as a positive. You healed up, know more about what you want, have learned and are getting yourself back. I would view this void as the new you and an open space to fill it. This is not about your ex and you should not make this feeling about her. It is about the new you and what is coming your way. You have a chance to fill you life up with great things here on out. IMO, we are not meant to be alone. This is your higher powers way of letting you know that. Trust in your HP and be open to what the universe is unfolding for you. Also, keep feeling your feelings. What a blessing that you can cry and let it out. Again, do not make it about her because it is not about the past, it is about the future. 1
Author True Gent Posted April 3, 2014 Author Posted April 3, 2014 I know exactly what you mean. After how my ex hurt me I don't want her back either, but I also don't want to be with anyone else. And I too and pretty scared that If my ex can do this to me, who is to say it won't happen again with someone else. But I'm not going to live in fear. I'm just going to live my life day by day and do things that make me happy. It sounds like you are doing the same, I wouldn't stress, sounds like just a bit of a setback which Is natural. How have your dates been going? You're probably right, just a natural setback I guess... Yeah I am just living day by day really and I do feel I have made such progress. That's why the tears were a shock lol. The dating has been very casual, the biggest problem being I either just don't fancy them or they have serious man issues. Just been on line dating at the moment, though I have given my hair dresser my number. I would see this as a positive. You healed up, know more about what you want, have learned and are getting yourself back. I would view this void as the new you and an open space to fill it. This is not about your ex and you should not make this feeling about her. It is about the new you and what is coming your way. You have a chance to fill you life up with great things here on out. IMO, we are not meant to be alone. This is your higher powers way of letting you know that. Trust in your HP and be open to what the universe is unfolding for you. Also, keep feeling your feelings. What a blessing that you can cry and let it out. Again, do not make it about her because it is not about the past, it is about the future. Thanks, guys these are great posts. I do love these forums always a positive way to look at things on here 1
FortunateSon Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Hi guys, I've been pretty quiet on here for a good few weeks. I've been focusing on rebuilding my life since the demise of my 9 yr relationship. We split in November and we're just into April now so I'm a few months in. Good things so far are, I've got a new place to live and it's lovely. I really love this house! A true fresh start. I've treat myself to new gadgets, home cinema, smart TV, PS3, new furniture etc... I've socialised plenty with my good friends. I've been on dates. I'll be taking up my cycling again after a slight dip due to moving house etc... The two dogs we used to share are now in the care of her mum wile the ex is in America for a while (we live in the uk). Yet I still get to see the dogs and have them stay over at my convenience without any hassle or ties. Things are pretty peachy at the moment... Yet all of a sudden this last week I've noticed I seem to be thinking of her again. I don't know why, I do not want her anymore. The problem is I don't seem to want anyone else either. It's like I'm starting to notice something is missing from my life. I haven't felt this since the move, but now I just feel a bit empty. I'm a little worried I won't be able to fully believe in love again. Kinda feel like if she could do what she did to me after our time together, what hope is there someone else won't crap all over me too? Is the fairy tale possible? I'm just suddenly missing who was meant to be my life companion when everything was going so well. I cried a lot yesterday, I haven't cried in about 2 months. I hope this is just a sentimental set back or something. I really want to progress here... TG, I am glad to see you are doing well, I remember when I joined this site our situations were similar. I am approximately 10 month BU and have faced every issue you have mentioned. Dated a lot of nice girls, but I was not ready in some way. I recently had a couple weeks where I was thinking of my ex a lot even though I know we could never be back together. I think healing is not as linear as we expect/hope it to be. A lot of feelings come in waves, they ebb and flow. You sounds like you are doing really well, keep it up! 1
Author True Gent Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 TG, I am glad to see you are doing well, I remember when I joined this site our situations were similar. I am approximately 10 month BU and have faced every issue you have mentioned. Dated a lot of nice girls, but I was not ready in some way. I recently had a couple weeks where I was thinking of my ex a lot even though I know we could never be back together. I think healing is not as linear as we expect/hope it to be. A lot of feelings come in waves, they ebb and flow. You sounds like you are doing really well, keep it up! Thanks FortunateSon. It is a strange process and like you say it's not linear. I try not to talk about it too much with people now as I think people tend to believe once you show signs of improvement then you must be over it. That in turn makes you think that you should be over it. I'm just riding the waves and doing all I can really. I do miss a lot about the bond we had together. I suppose when most of your adult life has been spent with someone it will take some adjustment once they are gone. I really do think I'm learning a lot about myself during this period. I'm telling myself it WILL work out in the end. I've got my whole life to live yet, she is the one who has lost out here. 1
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