somedude81 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Just like you, with the women that you're attracted to. (That wasn't an attack - just thinking of your thread.) Of course. I want to get the most desirable woman I can, and hold on to her for as long as I can. V is exactly the same way, and she's not going to settle for a man that she thinks isn't attractive.
rumbleseat Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I don't know if anyone can force anyone to do anything, but I'm not a male who feels like I am "forced" to be monogamous, so what the H@ll do I know? This reminds me of the film "Dr. STrangelove: Or How I Stopped worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb" where a man is very much against nuclear war until he learns that he is one of a handful of men who will be kept alive and safe to help keep the human race going by fathering children with as many different women as possible. One personal experience I have had is with a male friend of mine who used to sleep around whenever and where ever he could. He was quite the man about town until her met the woman he went on to marry, and as far as I know, he's been monogamous ever since. Seems that monogamy can become the preference if it means that you get to be with the person you love. 1
salparadise Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 If you ask me all evo psyche is just a load of crap to me. It's junk science that people use to justify their behavior. It's the latest trend to by hacks who don't have it what it takes to be real scientists. Go ahead and flame me but that is how I feel. Oh, c'mon woggle, you're too smart to be so naive. The big joke is how seriously real science tries to take itself. The whole "if you can't measure it, it doesn't exist" mentality is downright laughable. We only have five senses- do you actually believe the universe was designed to fit into our tiny little tunnel of perception? What we don't know is vast, and most of what we think we know is not much more than superstition.
Author verhrzn Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 I don't think that's going to work 49322 She's only trying to get the most desirable man she can, and she's upset that she can't keep them. What the hell are you going on about?? I mean, yeah, it does upset me that only a single man in the entire world wants me. But it has nothing to do with "high quality." You do remember that I'm the one guys never hit on, never ask out, and never message on dating sites, right?
xxoo Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 V, forget the science debates. You of all people should know that whatever the theorist says about "women" does not describe every individual woman. Well, men are individuals, too. And some prefer monogamy. Some don't. 1
somedude81 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 What the hell are you going on about?? I mean, yeah, it does upset me that only a single man in the entire world wants me. But it has nothing to do with "high quality." You do remember that I'm the one guys never hit on, never ask out, and never message on dating sites, right? Only a single man in the entire world wants you? Hah! I bet you're dating/having a casual thing with a guy right now or up until very recently. It's weird how you try to present yourself as some forgotten woman who men have never touched. You really haven't had it that bad verhrzn. I know you can find a guy that really wants you. You just will most likely have to lower your standards a bit. BTW, I'm curious how many men on this forum have expressed an interesting in you, for more than just sex. fortyninethousand322 and myself make two. How many more were there? 1
Author verhrzn Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 Only a single man in the entire world wants you? Hah! I bet you're dating/having a casual thing with a guy right now or up until very recently. It's weird how you try to present yourself as some forgotten woman who men have never touched. You really haven't had it that bad verhrzn. I know you can find a guy that really wants you. You just will most likely have to lower your standards a bit. BTW, I'm curious how many men on this forum have expressed an interesting in you, for more than just sex. fortyninethousand322 and myself make two. How many more were there? I am dating someone.... my previous-ex, the one guy in the world, out of my entire life, who has pursued me and wants me. I can find guys, if I pursue them and if I push really hard and if the guy is bored/desperate, who will have sex with me. I've had 4 boyfriends in the last 10 years (not counting this current-ex), and every time they only dated me because they couldn't get the girl they actually wanted, were desperate, and I pushed/manipulated them into dating me. And yeah, maybe I could find a relationship if I lowered my standards AND constantly pursued the guys... but so could anyone. Anyone could lower their standards and find a relationship. I have yet to hear about you hitting on very-unattractive women constantly. And yeah, you two have expressed an interest.... after going on and on and on about how you're desperate and will take whatever you can get. Gee, how flattering. 2
ThaWholigan Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I find it distasteful in the way that people seek to undermine and trivialize another person's misfortune, no matter how great or small. 4
somedude81 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I am dating someone.... my previous-ex, the one guy in the world, out of my entire life, who has pursued me and wants me. Are you happy with him? Why did you make this thread? Was he really the only guy who has pursued you? I just have a hard time believing that. I can find guys, if I pursue them and if I push really hard and if the guy is bored/desperate, who will have sex with me. I've had 4 boyfriends in the last 10 years (not counting this current-ex), and every time they only dated me because they couldn't get the girl they actually wanted, were desperate, and I pushed/manipulated them into dating me. You shouldn't have to pursue guys or push hard. Maybe where you live is just really bad. How do you manipulate a guy into dating you? And yeah, maybe I could find a relationship if I lowered my standards AND constantly pursued the guys... but so could anyone. Anyone could lower their standards and find a relationship. I have yet to hear about you hitting on very-unattractive women constantly. And yeah, you two have expressed an interest.... after going on and on and on about how you're desperate and will take whatever you can get. Gee, how flattering. I don't know about 49, but I'm not desperate and won't take whatever I can get. Yes I really want a GF, but I'm pretty selective. People keep telling me that I must be shooting out of my league since I'm having trouble. But after dating my ex, I don't want to settle for anything less. She was a really high quality girl in looks and personality. I'm going to keep trying till I find somebody somewhat on her level. So what about you? Are you happy with what your standards are getting you? What do you really want in and from a man?
Shepp Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I come across this time and time again.... the idea that men are naturally wired to be polygamous From blokes who cant own there CHOICES and are looking for excuses and that men are only monogamous because women refuse to be in relationships with them otherwise. That, or men are only monogamous because of quid-pro-quo.... they'd prefer to be out banging other women, but don't want their girlfriends sleeping with other men, and so are monogamous as a compromise. Nope Is it true? Nope Are there are men who would choose monogamy over polygamy? Every single time!! If you could live in a society where men could have multiple partners, but women were expected to be monogamous, would you choose that? Absolutely not!! Would you open up your relationship if you could avoid the consequences (your partner leaving you/sleeping with someone else)? Absolutely not!! Is it foolish to expect fidelity from a male partner? Nope 2
Author verhrzn Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 Are you happy with him? Why did you make this thread? Was he really the only guy who has pursued you? I just have a hard time believing that. Yes, he is really the only guy who has pursued me. And I made this thread because I'm curious. It's something I hear and read a lot, so I ponder over its validity. You shouldn't have to pursue guys or push hard. Maybe where you live is just really bad. How do you manipulate a guy into dating you? By asking/demanding that we be official on FB, by saying if he won't be exclusive I'm going to walk away. Back in my earlier years I withheld sex before I was in an exclusive relationship, and then had a lot of guys (online and off) yell at me and tell me how I was "proving" how manipulative women are, and how I disgust them because I use sex to get a relationship. So what about you? Are you happy with what your standards are getting you? What do you really want in and from a man? I am very pleased with my current boyfriend. My friends sometimes insist I should be single and keep looking because I wouldn't describe my relationship as "amazing" or my boyfriend as the One, but that's more because those kind of descriptions make me uncomfortable... I'm much more of a pragmatist than a romantic, and I just cannot believe it gets better than my current boyfriend. That said, if he were to leave me or get hit by a meteor or something, it still saddens me to realize what the modern dating scene is like, especially from what I read in forums like this.
somedude81 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 If you're happy with your boyfriend then you really shouldn't be making threads like this. You're just psyching yourself out. Enjoy your BF and try to be the best GF you can be. Don't waste time thinking about if he wants to date other girls or be polygamous. A while back when my ex and I were together, somehow we got to the topic of open relationships or having a threesome. Maybe we were talking about sexual fantasies, I don't remember. Though I'll never forget her looking at me very seriously, with a tone to match her expression she said, "I don't share." From then on we never talked about the subject again. It didn't bug me in the slightest, she was all I wanted.
Author verhrzn Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 Why shouldn't I start threads like this, if there are articles and tons of men online insisting that any woman who thinks men are naturally monogamous is a fool? I've been told in other places that men are only monogamous because women force them to be, and that any man given the option would be poly in a heart beat. I hear this sentiment often enough and in enough places that I start to wonder. So why not ask?
somedude81 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Why shouldn't I start threads like this, if there are articles and tons of men online insisting that any woman who thinks men are naturally monogamous is a fool? I've been told in other places that men are only monogamous because women force them to be, and that any man given the option would be poly in a heart beat. I hear this sentiment often enough and in enough places that I start to wonder. So why not ask? Because you're stressing yourself out over nothing. Try to believe a bit more in romance. Over thinking is almost never a good thing.
Quiet Storm Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 V, forget the science debates. You of all people should know that whatever the theorist says about "women" does not describe every individual woman. Well, men are individuals, too. And some prefer monogamy. Some don't. Exactly. Some men are very comfortable around women and enjoy flirting with them. They enjoy variety and love meeting new people. They think dating, getting to know each other, building attraction is enjoyable. Dating is fun for them. Other men just want one women. Flirting with and trying to get new women all the time would feel like work to them. He just wants a woman to share his life with, a woman that he already knows & loves. A woman that already knows him and loves him. He's content with that. He might like the "idea" of being with other women, but he does not enjoy dating & wooing new women. Of course, this could also be considered "scientific" if you label these differences alpha/beta.
Shepp Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Why shouldn't I start threads like this, if there are articles and tons of men online insisting that any woman who thinks men are naturally monogamous is a fool? Probably written 99.5% of the time by men who choose to cheat 2
xxoo Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Probably written 99.5% of the time by men who choose to cheat Or by women who are justifying their inability to trust. V, have you google articles by men making the case for monogamy? Are you open to believing a man who argues for monogamy? Or do you doubt his sincerity because of his genitalia? 1
Grumpybutfun Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Again, I don't care what other people do. No other woman exists now that I am in a monogamous relationship with my wife and I am grateful for every day we get to spend together. I chose this and it is one of my better choices. No one could force me to do anything, I assure you. I doubt if she gave me a hall pass I could drum up much enthusiasm for it. You see, I got all the casual sex out of my system when I was a single man, did that already, is in the past so now I am on to better things in life. Blessed, Grumps 2
Author verhrzn Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 Or by women who are justifying their inability to trust. V, have you google articles by men making the case for monogamy? Are you open to believing a man who argues for monogamy? Or do you doubt his sincerity because of his genitalia? I'd believe it. I actually don't think wanting poly applies to all men; it just seems like it applies to the great majority. If the majority of men are enamored with monogamy, then I would want to know why they never speak up.... why popular culture and dating websites and forums are filled with guys who want to be players and sleep with as many women as possible. I completely believe some men want monogamy. But is it a large enough percentage that if you're a monogamous woman, you can be pretty reassured you ended up with a monogamous man?
Keenly Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I find it distasteful in the way that people seek to undermine and trivialize another person's misfortune, no matter how great or small. Like Ms. Paltrow's difficulties? Ha.. I couldn't resist. 1
xxoo Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I'd believe it. I actually don't think wanting poly applies to all men; it just seems like it applies to the great majority. If the majority of men are enamored with monogamy, then I would want to know why they never speak up.... why popular culture and dating websites and forums are filled with guys who want to be players and sleep with as many women as possible. I completely believe some men want monogamy. But is it a large enough percentage that if you're a monogamous woman, you can be pretty reassured you ended up with a monogamous man? I think it applies to the majority of young men, and far fewer as they grow up. It's common on dating sites because that's where they can go to give it a shot. Not a random sampling of men. We end up with what we accept. If you want a monogamous man, accept nothing less, but accept that some women choose single hood over a man they have to keep in line. A good man (and woman) IS hard to find. My advice is to NOT monitor and force. Let a man show you who he is, and then decide if you want him. 4
GoodOnPaper Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 If the majority of men are enamored with monogamy, then I would want to know why they never speak up.... why popular culture and dating websites and forums are filled with guys who want to be players and sleep with as many women as possible. I completely believe some men want monogamy. But is it a large enough percentage that if you're a monogamous woman, you can be pretty reassured you ended up with a monogamous man? I think women want men who have options to want monogamy -- almost every happily-coupled LS woman prefaces her story about how she met her SO by saying that he could have had any woman he wanted. If we don't/didn't have options, then wanting monogamy doesn't seem to count for much. 3
Revolver Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I think women want men who have options to want monogamy -- almost every happily-coupled LS woman prefaces her story about how she met her SO by saying that he could have had any woman he wanted. If we don't/didn't have options, then wanting monogamy doesn't seem to count for much. This is true lol
tbf Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I've chained my husband in our basement, only taking him out to clean and have sex with. He appears to be thankful, each time he's released. So my take is that he's happy with monogamy. 6
Els Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 V, where are you 'coming across' these things? I'm guessing... more forums frequented by bitter men. I'm really not sure why you continue to perpetuate this cycle. That being said, most of the happily married/LTR men I know joke that, "One wife/partner is more than enough to handle!" And there's a lot of truth in that. Only teenagers (or teenagers in male bodies) are living in fantasyland where they have five different women on roster to bang every week, but still somehow manage to have plenty of alone time and cash to spare. The realities of polygyny are not like that. Not even in Saudi Arabia where women have no rights and the men don't need to spend any time and effort on them - they still need to consider the financial burden of each additional wife they take, and poor men typically cannot afford more than one. 1
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