smithwilson Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 every girl i have dated they always wait 3 or 4 days to talk about it. they will go out and go with their friends and ignore you but then after you dont talk to them a bit they will want to talk why? is every girl like this?
CarrieT Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 is every girl like this? No. But there are PEOPLE who are like this. It is not a "girl" thing as I have definitely had guys who act the same way. Usually it is because they are conflict-avoidance in some way and by waiting, they are anticipating its own resolution without necessarily bringing it to a head by themselves. 1
Strength in Healing Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I sense a battle coming in this topic. ALL WOMEN don't do ANYTHING except breathe. Do all black people steal? Are all asians good at math? No and no. Some women are nuts, some are brilliant. Some guys are *** ****s, some are charming and honest. To think anything other is to think in black and white, and surely you have more intelligence than to think that way, don't you?
Mrin Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Ya can't generalize like that but since we are generalizing, here is something to chew on that might make you look at it a different way. Women are far more self aware of their emotions than guys. Guys will often get upset and boom it is out there. Women are usually far better at not immediately reacting and chewing on things a bit. Are they really upset? Should they be upset? They'll seek counsel from their friends. And then once they've had a chance to really explore things they will bring it up. You'd be surprised at the number of things they don't bring up. As one female friend told me, thank God men can't listen in on women's thoughts or we'd be in perma defensive mode. Ok let's stop generalizing now...
pickflicker Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I come from a family that screams it out at one another (seriously, my mother and I have some epic fights, but it's because we're so similar), cool down for two days, and then reconvene and resolve. That's how I work. It might not be pretty, but I always resolve an argument and I never hold a grudge.
melell Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 This is an interesting topic. Personally I have had a heaps of training in deescalation, conflict resolution, things like that- all for a particular job that involved very irrational and aggressive people. I use those tools in real life, and it is really difficult to get into an argument with me because of it (although sometimes I am sure it does more harm than good ie 'WHY WONT YOU SAY ANYTHING' In my experience I have noticed, and have been told by the other party, is that it is less about the issue at hand and more about letting off steam in general. Sometimes people want to be in an argument for whatever reason. And, imo, for females, they seem to want resolution sooner than males.
saltyfishhead666 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 every girl i have dated they always wait 3 or 4 days to talk about it. they will go out and go with their friends and ignore you but then after you dont talk to them a bit they will want to talk why? is every girl like this? "EVERY" girl isn't like this. I'm like a bull in a china shop. If there is a problem, I tackle it head on until it is resolved. I cannot leave something unresolved it eats away at you. Then again I think the fact that you said "girl" rather than "woman" speaks volumes. The person you are referring too isn't old enough emotionally. She is a girl otherwise she wouldn't have gone on sulking for 4 days. simple as
saltyfishhead666 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 No. But there are PEOPLE who are like this. It is not a "girl" thing as I have definitely had guys who act the same way. Usually it is because they are conflict-avoidance in some way and by waiting, they are anticipating its own resolution without necessarily bringing it to a head by themselves. Me too - my ex hated conflict so much and talking about the issue he would give me silent treatment literally for weeks before it was resolved and he was 40!!!
regine_phalange Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I don't like to ignore a boyfriend, unless he has said or done someting really insulting and Im seriously considering a breakup. When I am upset or annoyed for smaller things, I need to cool down and then talk about it, otherwise the argument may be heated. Going to the grocery store or at the gym and then talking about it, is always a good tactic. I usually say that I need some air but Ill be back. *In my experience (and just my own) it is the men who tend to sweep the arguments under the rug and think they can solve everything with pecks and hugs (while I am snorting fumes from my nostrils). 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I usually settle mine with a frying pan lol x 1
Author smithwilson Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 i'm a manager so i'm use to resolving conflict right away. so if i have an argument in a relationship i want to solve it right away
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