simplicity1 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Background: My ex and I broke up after 3 months of dating. After the breakup I sent three text messages over a two day period trying to get us to reconsider things but he just said that he realized he wasn't feeling 'animalistic desire' for me. So I stopped, and we have now been NC for 33 days (oof, it's tough for me). While we were together, he introduced me to a very communal gym (only one in the area) and to some of his friends at the gym. Present: When we broke up, I remained convinced to keep going to the gym because 1. it's the only place in town to go climbing, and climbing is a damn good coping mechanism 2. it's a GREAT place to meet people. I meet new people every time I go. last time I was there, I ran into one of my ex's friends there for the first time since the breakup. I assumed we'd do the <1 min 'be cordial' thing and then do our own things, but he stuck around to help me out with climbing. Then I said I was going to the other side of the gym, and he joined 15 min later and continued to chat/help out with routes. It was fine, comfortable, friendly. Better than the alternative of him being cold to me, I guess. Then I said I was leaving, and he asked if I was biking east and that we should bike together. So then we biked together. I'm really puzzled by his extreme friendliness. My theories: 1. He could be doing some spying for my ex, trying to find out from me when I normally go to the gym (he was very keen on asking about this), etc. so that my ex can avoid those times. This was my original theory when he started probing about my gym habits 2. He knows about our breakup, and could just have wanted to be extra friendly to me since he might have been worried that I was sad, or struggling, or only at the gym to run into my ex or something, so being extra friendly was just his way of showing support to me (we did not address or mention my ex at all) 3. I could have been the only one he knew at the gym at the time so he was just looking for some company, and it was totally irrelevant whether I had dated his good friend or not 4. He could have been hitting on me (??) (Another explanation for why he was so keen on finding out when I go to the gym?) It's not a thought I'd ever processed, really, since I only knew him as my ex's friend and wouldn't have ever thought of him that way while dating my ex Anyway, would bring me some peace of mind to make sense of this interaction, since like I said, I would have really really expected the <1 min cordial interaction rather than him going out of his way like this. Any thoughts here? Thanks!
Atticus9292012 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I had a similar occurrence once except the contact was more continuous. He messaged me on myspace (ha) and we messaged back and forth for months. I thought it was just friendly. He asked me to hang out, and I could tell immediately he saw it as a date when we met up. I showed up in a hoody and jeans thinking we were just going to kick it. It kind of weirded me out since I dated his buddy for 2.5 years. ANYWAY, back to your story, looking at one interaction its really hard to tell. He may have a mild interest in you or just wanted to be nice because he is a nice guy. Its really hard to answer. I have a hard time thinking a guy would ask his buddy to spy on a girl. Even if he did, that seems kinda creepy and cowardly. If this happens every time you see him and it progresses to me, I would say there is at least an interest in you.
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