Keenly Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 So POF, found this girl. Cute, nerdy, fellow gamer, blah blah blah. Five messages back and forth later ( novels ) gave her my digits and we started texting. She stopped responding yesterday around 2, I figured she went to work or something. Haven't heard from her since. The reason I'm worried is because she spent half the time convincing me to try out this game with her, and she was going to send me a beta key. Then came radio silence. I sent one text around 9pm playfully asking for my beta key so I could get my character creation going. Sent her one text today that just said " hey there " Now I'm doing that extremely unhealthy mental panicking because I really think her and I could be something special. I'm trying to distract myself but I have a very stubborn mind that can be hard to derail. I'm debating putting a sticky note on my phone with the word NO! on it. Any advice to keep something so stupid from bothering me?
smackie9 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Yes the sticky note is a great idea and make sure they are very large letters! As soon as you get all needy, it's game over. Don't contact her again. Remeber not everyone is single POF or on any OLD site, they pretend to be single so they can get attention. Your mistake is texting. You ask for a damn date and go out and meet them right away. You talk and get to know them irl....texting a rubbish way to get to know someone because they can so easily disappear without a trace.
MidwestUSA Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Assume something REALLY bad has happened to her. Obviously it was nothing you did (yet). But NO to further texting. And remind yourself of what she's potentially missing out on if she flaked. Her loss. 1
CarrieT Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I really think her and I could be something special. At some point you must learn to stop projecting hopes onto someone you have not even met yet. That "something special" feeling should be relegated to those you have dated several times -- not strangers you are just texting with. That is filling in your mind with a fantasy partner that won't ever really exist. 12
jay1983 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Wow, calm down bro. Go do something outdoors and leave your phone at home. Try to forget about it, at this point tell yourself she lost interest (even though that might not be what it is" and find another one (IRL) If she calls you back cool, if not, oh well you'll probably find something better.
StanMusial Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 So POF, found this girl. Cute, nerdy, fellow gamer, blah blah blah. Five messages back and forth later ( novels ) gave her my digits and we started texting. She stopped responding yesterday around 2, I figured she went to work or something. Haven't heard from her since. The reason I'm worried is because she spent half the time convincing me to try out this game with her, and she was going to send me a beta key. Then came radio silence. I sent one text around 9pm playfully asking for my beta key so I could get my character creation going. Sent her one text today that just said " hey there " Now I'm doing that extremely unhealthy mental panicking because I really think her and I could be something special. I'm trying to distract myself but I have a very stubborn mind that can be hard to derail. I'm debating putting a sticky note on my phone with the word NO! on it. Any advice to keep something so stupid from bothering me? C'mon man, you have never even met her right? How can you think this? I don't ever play video games but my advice would be to maybe try that game anyway so if you ever hear from her again you can tell her about it. 3
jay1983 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 At some point you must learn to stop projecting hopes onto someone you have not even met yet. That "something special" feeling should be relegated to those you have dated several times -- not strangers you are just texting with. That is filling in your mind with a fantasy partner that won't ever really exist. Those role playing games might have something to do with that. 4
Author Keenly Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Those role playing games might have something to do with that. You guys sure are jumping to a lot of not so helpful conclusions. Wrong ones at that. The reason I feel like im into her is her communication style, playful banter, and common interests. But Its really nice to see we can get a little bit of passive aggressive darts thrown my way for simply asking for advice on not texting. And to the person telling me not to text... I'm 24 and its 2014. This Is the norm for some one you've known all of 2 days. 2
GoreSP Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 So POF, found this girl. Cute, nerdy, fellow gamer, blah blah blah. Five messages back and forth later ( novels ) gave her my digits and we started texting. She stopped responding yesterday around 2, I figured she went to work or something. Haven't heard from her since. The reason I'm worried is because she spent half the time convincing me to try out this game with her, and she was going to send me a beta key. Then came radio silence. I sent one text around 9pm playfully asking for my beta key so I could get my character creation going. Sent her one text today that just said " hey there " Now I'm doing that extremely unhealthy mental panicking because I really think her and I could be something special. I'm trying to distract myself but I have a very stubborn mind that can be hard to derail. I'm debating putting a sticky note on my phone with the word NO! on it. Any advice to keep something so stupid from bothering me? Start by deleting her number. Hopefully you haven't memorized it… Sorry this happened to you Keenly
Author Keenly Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 At some point you must learn to stop projecting hopes onto someone you have not even met yet. That "something special" feeling should be relegated to those you have dated several times -- not strangers you are just texting with. That is filling in your mind with a fantasy partner that won't ever really exist. I'm pretty sure this feeling is coming from comparing this experience to previous OLD experience, which is horrible. So here's one that's actually good and my irrational side is trying to dive right in and my rational side is telling me how stupid I am.
jay1983 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 You guys sure are jumping to a lot of not so helpful conclusions. Wrong ones at that. The reason I feel like im into her is her communication style, playful banter, and common interests. But Its really nice to see we can get a little bit of passive aggressive darts thrown my way for simply asking for advice on not texting. And to the person telling me not to text... I'm 24 and its 2014. This Is the norm for some one you've known all of 2 days. Sorry man, just look to my first post. Get out of the house for minute to help forget about it. If she call you great, if not, no biggie.
Author Keenly Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Start by deleting her number. Hopefully you haven't memorized it… Sorry this happened to you Keenly ..... you're suggesting deleting her number because she hasn't texted me in 23 hours? That sounds a bit extreme , doesn't it? For all I know, she dropped her phone in the toilet. This threads isn't really about what she is up to, but how I stop myself from being an idiot and scaring her away. I mean, assuming I haven't done that yet
Haydn Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Come on keenly you have always been so sensible with advice. You never met the girl, i chat to ladies on the tube that have great banter and common interests. But you would tell me not to text and i would take your advice as i have done before. Take care. You guys sure are jumping to a lot of not so helpful conclusions. Wrong ones at that. The reason I feel like im into her is her communication style, playful banter, and common interests. But Its really nice to see we can get a little bit of passive aggressive darts thrown my way for simply asking for advice on not texting. And to the person telling me not to text... I'm 24 and its 2014. This Is the norm for some one you've known all of 2 days. 3
GoreSP Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 ..... you're suggesting deleting her number because she hasn't texted me in 23 hours? That sounds a bit extreme , doesn't it? For all I know, she dropped her phone in the toilet. This threads isn't really about what she is up to, but how I stop myself from being an idiot and scaring her away. I mean, assuming I haven't done that yet Let's say she did drop her phone in the toilet. Why wouldn't she think to let you know in other way - like by sending you a message on POF - that she dropped her phone in the toilet. Also, you texted her 'hey there' and she didn't respond. Not even to say hey back and that she is busy. I think you're getting the brushoff - sorry hun. The thing with texts - there really are not a lot of reason to not respond in a timely manner. Everyone thinks they can't expect someone to reply quickly but this is what texts are for. When's the last time you didn't answer a text for 24 hours? 2
GoreSP Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 You guys sure are jumping to a lot of not so helpful conclusions. Wrong ones at that. The reason I feel like im into her is her communication style, playful banter, and common interests. But Its really nice to see we can get a little bit of passive aggressive darts thrown my way for simply asking for advice on not texting. And to the person telling me not to text... I'm 24 and its 2014. This Is the norm for some one you've known all of 2 days. Oh you've known her only two days! Yeah ok I'd say there is a 50% chance I'm wrong then lol 1
jay1983 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Let's say she did drop her phone in the toilet. Why wouldn't she think to let you know in other way - like by sending you a message on POF - that she dropped her phone in the toilet. Also, you texted her 'hey there' and she didn't respond. Not even to say hey back and that she is busy. I think you're getting the brushoff - sorry hun. The thing with texts - there really are not a lot of reason to not respond in a timely manner. Everyone thinks they can't expect someone to reply quickly but this is what texts are for. When's the last time you didn't answer a text for 24 hours? At work I get real busy, sometimes I'm in meetings (which occupy my brain in a bad way) all day and don't check my phone a while. I get a lot of texts, it's a distraction when I have to get my work done. Sometimes I forget to text people back.
StanMusial Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 C'mon man, you have never even met her right? How can you think this? I don't ever play video games but my advice would be to maybe try that game anyway so if you ever hear from her again you can tell her about it. You can't text if you're playing a game right? You guys sure are jumping to a lot of not so helpful conclusions. Wrong ones at that. The reason I feel like im into her is her communication style, playful banter, and common interests. But Its really nice to see we can get a little bit of passive aggressive darts thrown my way for simply asking for advice on not texting. And to the person telling me not to text... I'm 24 and its 2014. This Is the norm for some one you've known all of 2 days.
Raena Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 More than likely she got sucked into playing the game and well... if you are a gamer you should know what that's like. What game was it? Can you get your own beta invite? They aren't usually that hard to get. At least not in my experience. Otherwise... go keep yourself busy and DON'T text her again until she contacts you. Go with your post it note idea... or change her name to something that will remind you not to text for a bit. Then.. go get your game on... lol.
Author Keenly Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Let's say she did drop her phone in the toilet. Why wouldn't she think to let you know in other way - like by sending you a message on POF - that she dropped her phone in the toilet. Also, you texted her 'hey there' and she didn't respond. Not even to say hey back and that she is busy. I think you're getting the brushoff - sorry hun. The thing with texts - there really are not a lot of reason to not respond in a timely manner. Everyone thinks they can't expect someone to reply quickly but this is what texts are for. When's the last time you didn't answer a text for 24 hours? I didn't answer a text for twenty four hours as we speak actually , haha. But yeah, you lose some, you lose some. Sometime between loss 23 and loss 59 there is a win in there some where. Boooooooooooo. The god that I don't beleive in sure has a weird sense of humor. The problem with stuff like this I'm finally going to find a good girl but I'm going to be so focused on protecting my own emotions that I won't give a damn about her ! Alright, I'll leave it alone. But you can bet your ass that if I get a text from her, I will be quite giddy. I wouldn't hold my breath though.. Oh, and to whomever because I can't scroll up, I've never told anyone not to text.... have I? 1
Author Keenly Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 More than likely she got sucked into playing the game and well... if you are a gamer you should know what that's like. What game was it? Can you get your own beta invite? They aren't usually that hard to get. At least not in my experience. Otherwise... go keep yourself busy and DON'T text her again until she contacts you. Go with your post it note idea... or change her name to something that will remind you not to text for a bit. Then.. go get your game on... lol. This is definitely not a game I give two craps about haha. I was going to play it merely because I have the free time and I wanted to try and bond over it. I have the self control to not text her, no worries. But the bitter disappointment still leaves a taste in the mouth.
GoreSP Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 At work I get real busy, sometimes I'm in meetings (which occupy my brain in a bad way) all day and don't check my phone a while. I get a lot of texts, it's a distraction when I have to get my work done. Sometimes I forget to text people back. Yeah. Women don't do that as much lol
jay1983 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Yeah. Women don't do that as much lol Let's say my first meeting went like We are behind on our milestone, we need 700 drawings in 6 weeks Then the next meeting The project is gonna be closing out in 6 weeks. We don't have a position for everybody here, your next assignment will based on your seniority. At this point, I'm not thinking about the girl, you, the OP, John, Jake, Steve, whatever.
tlegend Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 You said it yourself. It's 2014. Texting is a huge, albeit flawed, way of communication. Going from hot to cold after a few days? I'm thinking: 1) She's attached, her hubby found out, she's not returning your texts anymore. 2) She's clearly on POF. Maybe she's a 1 person at a time person....and she met someone else? 3) She's just not that into you 4) Toilet ate her phone 5) She's scared how much she liked you and is now trying to slow down the communication? 6) Any other reason in the world My best advice would be .....to follow your own advice. Don't seem needy through texts, although its already a bit too late as you've texted multiple times without a reply. I understand that 1 OK in 99 rejections is a tough break. But, to be honest, you're closing around 1% of your pitches then. Now apply that 1% to 500 women you pitch to. Maybe you'll have better luck? Surely, that seems like a lot of work. But....what's the price of love worth to you?
lino Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Doesn't look good for you mate. I'd cut your losses and move onto something else, preferably not on online dating. 'The problem with stuff like this I'm finally going to find a good girl but I'm going to be so focused on protecting my own emotions that I won't give a damn about her !' And this when you will have real and genuine success. 1
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