nottherealone Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 We're 17. We went out a few times. For valentines day he gave me one of his childhood teddies and he managed to convince me how much he cared for me. It went great, and we both enjoyed being together. However, time passed and we started seeing each other a lot less. Even though we never really officially dated, we both felt something was there. Then one day it all stopped, and we just never communicated again, not even on facebook. On the phone yesterday, he said he was really sorry how we drifted apart. He said that a lot of things have been thrown at him and he's changed his mind about a lot of things and he had started to see things from a different angle and it was mainly due to the workload our professors are giving us. I guess that was his was of saying 'we're over', and we both said nothing after that and we thought it was better to hang up. We haven't seen each other since. He goes to my school, so I'll have to see him one day. I remember how he once cared so much, and the few great days we spent together, and it's a huge shock to be suddenly told all this. I knew it would have never lasted, I just didn't know it could take just one month to go from revealing his deep emotions to complete strangers. I know that he has given me a good reason to move on, but I can't, and his teddy is still sitting on the same place on my bed. I wish I could ask if there was a chance that he'll come back after the college final exams, but I don't want false hope. He just doesn't seem that interested anymore... Help??
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 If I gave you hope, it would be false. It sucks to hear it (hell, I hated hearing it myself, at your age!) but - you're young. I suspect you have yet to be smitten by more than one meaningful relationship, so this is fresh, raw and very painful. You neede to learn, understand and accept that things do evolve and always, but always ultimately come to a close. you need to let go. Unless you develop this ability, your life will become a series of mournful, grieving situations. Relax, let things unfold, and don't hang your hat on a single star.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Sorry, sweetie, but I think it's done. It sounds like he gradually lost interest and didn't know how to tell you that. Give yourself time - he only told you yesterday that he's actually changed is mind. You will move on, I promise! Start by taking that teddy off your bed. Having a constant reminder of him won't help you get past this. Go out with your friends. Meet new people. I know, it's cliche advice but it really does work! Also, remember that you'll meet plenty of guys in the future - I was in a similar position when I was your age and was devastated when my ex broke it off. I'm nearly 33 now and I can guarantee you that you will have plenty of fun times ahead!
Author nottherealone Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Thanks! Do you think I should return his teddy? He made me promise to look after it, but surely if his feelings aren't there anymore he may want it back? Or shall I put it away and return them when I'm completely sure that nothing will happen and when I get over him?
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 First of all, read the No Contact Guide in my signature (see my first post). Secondly, return it, but don't for heaven's sake feel tempted to write a long, heart-felt missive about why you're returning and how you feel.... You may believe it's your right, but it just makes you sound needy, desperate and clingy. That way lies the loss of dignity.....
Recommended Posts