alleykat28 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 How do you deal with your feelings when the other is married and you've been in a long term relationship? He knows my feeling towards him. He is giving mixed signals.
QuakerOats Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 How do you deal with your feelings when the other is married and you've been in a long term relationship? He knows my feeling towards him. He is giving mixed signals. It isn't easy, that's for sure. I assume you are not married and your boyfriend is? How long has this been going on? What are your feelings for him? He knows, so how does he respond? Has he said he is leaving? Do you have a plan?
Cocochai Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 It isn't easy, that's for sure. I assume you are not married and your boyfriend is? How long has this been going on? What are your feelings for him? He knows, so how does he respond? Has he said he is leaving? Do you have a plan? Honestly, my XMM has never told me false promises or played on my heart strings. Even tho he actually did show an emotional attachmate... Even if he wanted to tell me how he truly felt, I knew he couldn't. He told me how he felt towards the M and at times wanting to leave, but the kids saved it. I always told myself it was just a "good time", but when he pulled out cold turkey my emotions for the best of me and I couldn't lie to myself and say.. "It's just fun". He came back said he couldn't do the cold turkey either but I never looked at out A the same. If the AP is giving you mixed signals, it's either because he doesn't want to tell you a lie or he can't tell because he knows deep down he's not willing to do anything about those feelings. So it's really up to you on whether or not you want to be in this situation or not.
Author alleykat28 Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 I'm the one not married. He has been with his wife for 16 years an I've known him for 14 years. I've always had feeling for him but in that moment of weakness I told him how I felt. He wasn't mad or upset or anything. Doesn't treat me any different. Maybe I am looking at the mixed all wrong. IDK. I've told him in the past that I needed space and e left me alone. Longest time was a week and we talked things over then the next was only for about three days and his excuse was he was worried about me and this time we talked about all the reasons why it would not work between us blah blah blah. And here recently I am back in my funk as I call it. I am at a complete loss. Don't want to lose my friend but yet I want more from him than I can get and it's rough.
Nothisgirl Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I'm the one not married. He has been with his wife for 16 years an I've known him for 14 years. I've always had feeling for him but in that moment of weakness I told him how I felt. He wasn't mad or upset or anything. Doesn't treat me any different. Maybe I am looking at the mixed all wrong. IDK. I've told him in the past that I needed space and e left me alone. Longest time was a week and we talked things over then the next was only for about three days and his excuse was he was worried about me and this time we talked about all the reasons why it would not work between us blah blah blah. And here recently I am back in my funk as I call it. I am at a complete loss. Don't want to lose my friend but yet I want more from him than I can get and it's rough. I'm sorry you are struggling...Are you having an EA or a PA or both or neither? I'm sorry I'm confused and don't want to respond without knowing the facts... And, what type of mixed feelings is he giving? What's he doing?
tornado Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 At the beginning of the affair, I wasn't madly in love with my MM. I thought there would be no hurt from both sides and that it would end quickly. Beware with feelings: if you ever start to fall in love with your MM, flee! Or you will suffer. Alleykat28, good luck, but "love" with MM is impossible. There is no stability and sincerity in an affair. It's probably more about passion and lust. Don't get mistaken. For the MM, the OW is an object, not a human being.
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