VeronicaRoss Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I have an ex-boyfriend who said he had loved me deeply. I was his 'soulmate'. I was completely mystified, I never saw or heard evidence of it when we were together. In fact I broke up with him because I felt used sexually and that the rest of me wasn't that interesting to him. He didn't want to see me in person again because he said he wouldn't be able to control himself, I said it wouldn't be a temptation for me but I respected his position. I knew that to be true, we had gotten together to hang out a few times in the past before he was married and we both were single and there was no interest on my part to get hurt again. He was surprised that I could control myself. When I asked him what he loved about me, it was about the sex basically. He didn't mention other qualities about me. He's told others how I broke his heart, it's weird. To me the difference between great sex and great love is really clear. Is this a common 'guy thing'?
soccerrprp Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 He is/was full of it. For some guys, great sex is confused with "love." As it is for some women. He wasn't in love with you and the soulmate crap is just that....crap. 2
hasaquestion Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I have an ex-boyfriend who said he had loved me deeply. I was his 'soulmate'. I was completely mystified, I never saw or heard evidence of it when we were together. In fact I broke up with him because I felt used sexually and that the rest of me wasn't that interesting to him. He didn't want to see me in person again because he said he wouldn't be able to control himself, I said it wouldn't be a temptation for me but I respected his position. I knew that to be true, we had gotten together to hang out a few times in the past before he was married and we both were single and there was no interest on my part to get hurt again. He was surprised that I could control myself. When I asked him what he loved about me, it was about the sex basically. He didn't mention other qualities about me. He's told others how I broke his heart, it's weird. To me the difference between great sex and great love is really clear. Is this a common 'guy thing'? Some people don't compartmentalize their feelings well. A statement like "her personality is... but her looks are..." is not easy for them. When they love specific aspects of a person, the glow rubs off on everything else. Beauty becomes a nice personality, a nice personality becomes beauty, etc. It might not be the case with this guy, since he stated that the sex was what he loved the most. But often times what a man thinks is real compatibility actually is just an overwhelming connection in one aspect of a relationship. And it seems that those relationships tend to fail.
Author VeronicaRoss Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 Yes this all makes sense. Thanks all.
JourneyLady Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 At least he's being honest. Actually that's hard to say. It depends on what he tells the next woman. My ex-bf said such things to me, but when he was finally gone for good, it was only two weeks before he bedded someone else, claiming to be "in love". I'm sure he told her a lot of the same things he told me. Such "honesty" is only in the rosy glow of the moment and means... absolutely nothing long term.
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