dontgo Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Long story so skip to cliffs if not interested in reading: Back in June I joined OKC. Right away this chick that lives 3 hours away started messaging me, which lead to texting. I had just broken up with my ex and was kind of desperate for attention. But this chick would text like crazy. Anyways I got annoyed and by July I quit responding to her and disabled my OKC account. Fast forward to late September I reopened OKC and she viewed my profile and that lead to texting again. Anyways since September she has texted me profusely (i.e. daily and initiating almost everything). Always wanting to meet up and even sending a few naughty pics. Always telling me how it sucked to be single. Well we ended up meeting each other 4 times between December and March, with two sleepovers and 2 meals. I added her on Facebook right before she made the final arrangements to visit and her relationship status was hidden. I didn't do intense detective work right then though. After thinking this over and doing some detective work for a couple days all the pieces are fitting together . She always told me she had a really good family friend in the Navy and made fun of me for texting other girls as I was the one of only 2 guys she texted. Anyways I clicked on this guy friend's Facebook profile and his relationship status is public and he has been in a relationship with her since July and again in January (It is like double listed...) There were small things I missed like in a couple pics of the 100s selfies she has sent me it appears as if though she has a promise ring on, has half a heart necklace with an anchor in it, and wears navy clothing like none other. And I learned she had an anchor tattoo when she was over! And they are tagged in a lot of stuff together on Facebook. I will be honest I feel sorry for this poor sailor! He probably thinks his gf is being perfectly loyal while he is away, yet she visits OKC on the regular and wants to sleep with people on the first date! My conundrum is should I contact him and let him know and if so how? I understand how hard it could be on him, but if it prevents him from living how many years with a lying sloot I feel it may be worth it. Cliffs: *Been chatting with OKC slot since June/September who lives 3 hours away *Have met her 4 times. #1 concert and she spends night. #2&3 quick meals by here #4 dinner and she spends the night. *Pretty positive she has a bf in the Navy. *Should I let bf know she is dishonest?
pickflicker Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I feel sorry for you. You've got nothing better to do than potentially break up someone's relationship. You can't be certain of their dynamics. Whether it's open or not. So instead, if you think she's taken, why don't you be the better person and walk away? 5
topaMAXX Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 It's good to rat out cheaters. It's the morally right thing to do. I say copy and paste the messages and send it to her bf anonymously. 2
pickflicker Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 It's good to rat out cheaters. It's the morally right thing to do. I say copy and paste the messages and send it to her bf anonymously. He's not sure what she's doing! It's not ok to meddle in someone's relationship. It's none of his business. If he wants to do the right thing, he needs to walk away now. Don't say anything, don't do anything - this is an acceptable situation to do the "fade out" and leave them to it. 2
kaylan Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 It's good to rat out cheaters. It's the morally right thing to do. I say copy and paste the messages and send it to her bf anonymously. I dont mind this at all. If the girl isnt doing anything wrong, then her bf wont mind. Its airheaded for anyone to truly think they have an open relationship though. Come on now lol. Those are a small percentage of most relationships out there. As someone who has been cheated on, I wish someone told me earlier to bail on the slore.
pickflicker Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I dont mind this at all. If the girl isnt doing anything wrong, then her bf wont mind. Its airheaded for anyone to truly think they have an open relationship though. Come on now lol. Those are a small percentage of most relationships out there. As someone who has been cheated on, I wish someone told me earlier to bail on the slore. You don't know. You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. People tends to STFU about what is going on in their relationship, because other people are so judgemental. People are so freakin nosey. Like the people who think a woman's pregnant belly is public property. It is not your business. Just walk away. 1
RonaldS Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Who cares? OP, why do you care? By your own admission, you really don't even like this girl. So, who gives a crap what she's doing? Just stop talking to her. You don't need to become a morality cop. 3
topaMAXX Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 He's not sure what she's doing! It's not ok to meddle in someone's relationship. It's none of his business. If he wants to do the right thing, he needs to walk away now. Don't say anything, don't do anything - this is an acceptable situation to do the "fade out" and leave them to it. She's cheating. It's obvious. If it's an open relationship, then the guy won't care when he messages him. I've done this before. I hooked up with a girl that lied to me about being married. When I found out, I let the guy know. Apparently, this led to the break up of marriage. Oh well. Don't do the crime if you can't face the consequences. Bros first. We have to watch out for each other these days....even if we don't know each other.
topaMAXX Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Exactly. If the roles were reversed, I wonder what your advice would be? "Don't get caught, buddy!" I pride myself on the fact that all the advice i offer is gender neutral. And you turn it into a men vs women debate every chance you get. Whatever. Putting you on ignore. I don't have time for this. I'm not gay so the opposite wouldn't be true. And I don't support cheating from either gender. Guess you won't see that last part though since I'm "ignored" now.
smackie9 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I dont support cheating, but I do support minding your own business. Go ahead and call her out on it, then just leave it. Hes in the navy? You never know he could be cheating on his GF when hes away from home. 2
kaylan Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) You don't know. You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. People tends to STFU about what is going on in their relationship, because other people are so judgemental. People are so freakin nosey. Like the people who think a woman's pregnant belly is public property. It is not your business. Just walk away. Nosey? lolz who cares. If some chick in a relationship is sniffing around for new d!k...why the fvk do you care whos nosey or not. Its on OKC too. If she really wasnt trying to hide a bf, and if she was really in a relationship that allows new partners, shed list herself as available, not single. Edited March 31, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Imajerk17 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) I dont support cheating, but I do support minding your own business. Go ahead and call her out on it, then just leave it. Hes in the navy? You never know he could be cheating on his GF when hes away from home. Are you serious? It sounds to me that you are actually rationalizing this girl's cheating behavior--if that is what she is doing. I support ratting out cheaters male OR female. I do think you need to make sure you get your facts straight before you say anything. Tell this girl what you found and what you suspect next time you talk to her (phone call or in person) before you proceed further. Edited March 31, 2014 by Imajerk17 3
bluegreen Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 He might also be scum and cheater just like her or could be good as good day guy we don't know do you know ? In any case nobody deserves to be cheated on get your evidence sent it off apologize and leave it off to God or Karma from there. PS: And stay away from her how many of "you" she is doing same with could be there ?
pickflicker Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) You should care. People are entitled to privacy. It's not "do unto others". Urns imposing YOUR morals on a relationship where the aggrieved party needs to all the question themselves. Not by someone who thinks they're being a white knight. And certainly not by summertime who isn't sure! Edited March 31, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
OhThatGirl Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I'm surprised to see so many people say it's not OPs business. It became his business when she pulled him into the situation with claims that she was single. My assistant at work was the one to tell me my boyfriend at the time was actively using an online dating site and that she was matched with him. Did it hurt? Yes. Did I make sure to show her a ton of appreciation and gratitude that she told me? Hell yes. Why? I don't appreciate looking like an idiot. She gave me information and it was incredibly hard for her to do it. I am so thankful she did. If she hadn't, I'd be going along never knowing just how much of a fool I was being played for. If handled properly, telling him has the opportunity to make his life better. How could you not want to do that? It's going to hurt him, but in the long run he will be able to find someone who can be loyal. And if it's a truly open relationship? Well no loss there either. I agree that OP needs to talk to HER too though. Do so before contacting him. See how things sort out. 7
ascendotum Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I dont support cheating, but I do support minding your own business. Go ahead and call her out on it, then just leave it. Hes in the navy? You never know he could be cheating on his GF when hes away from home. Its entirely possible he's doing the same things when he's os, but we only know for sure the one doing the dirty is his gf. I'm 50:50 on this. I don't believe people should be the morality cop on other people's business, but at the same time I don't think people should look the other way when they see someone doing something bad. I know cheating is not a crime, but good morals +behaviour is going down hill with each generation and part of it is people not calling out others on ****ty behavior. Calling her out on cheating goes some of the way to doing this, but if there are no repercussions many self centered people would simply respond with 'whateva'. Putting myself in the guy's boots, I would be very grateful for any stranger who gave me the scoop about my gf screwing other guys behind my back. 1
iiiii Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Hard question. I'd do her the courtesy of bringing it up with her first, in case there is some reasonable explanation. Hard to think that there could be a reasonable explanation, but you never know. Plus, if you go behind her back and tell on her to her "friend", and it turns out she's not in the wrong (for whatever reason) - then you've likely just blown it with her if she finds out.
joystickd Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I added her on Facebook right before she made the final arrangements to visit and her relationship status was hidden. I didn't do intense detective work right then though. After thinking this over and doing some detective work for a couple days all the pieces are fitting together . She always told me she had a really good family friend in the Navy and made fun of me for texting other girls as I was the one of only 2 guys she texted. Anyways I clicked on this guy friend's Facebook profile and his relationship status is public and he has been in a relationship with her since July and again in January (It is like double listed...) There were small things I missed like in a couple pics of the 100s selfies she has sent me it appears as if though she has a promise ring on, has half a heart necklace with an anchor in it, and wears navy clothing like none other. And I learned she had an anchor tattoo when she was over! And they are tagged in a lot of stuff together on Facebook. So she is cheating with you and another guy. I stay near a military base and it's crazy with some of the women. They get with these guys and when they go off she is banging like crazy. I have seen husbands go off and wives having different men over. I'd say he needs to know. I've seen the extent of how cheating goes for military men when they leave.
Woggle Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 If you can find out about it tell him. We have to look out for other betrayed parties. While it is not about gender to me I wonder if some of the people saying mind your business on here would say the same if the genders were reversed. 1
mortensorchid Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 By the start of this story I thought it was all too crazy for words but why would someone make something like that up? Cut your losses and don't bother with her anymore.
mammasita Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 This chick is a terrible cheater. Facebook is PUBLIC......send her boyfriend a message then delete her. I would if I were you.
oz-missy Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 How is this anyone's business? OP went on 4 "dates" with this girl. OP then Facebook stalks the girl. That just screams creepy to me. OP cut your loses. Move on. Stop facestalking.
isisisweeping Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 If he's sure that the girl and the guy were in an exclusive relationship at the point of contact, he should tell. But if it might be on/off type of thing then he shouldn't. If someone is cheating, and telling others they are single, they are betraying both people and both deserve to know.
InnocentMan Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 You don't know this guy. For all you know he could be 7 feet tall, and built like a brick **** house. You also don't know how he will react. Maybe he'll blame you and come gunning for you. Basically, it's not your problem. Why invite any drama into your life for no real benefit? The situation is quite different if you know someone that's being cheated on, and the dilemma about whether to tell them. People don't always appreciate the messenger, especially if that messenger is the one that's been banging his wife. If she does this often, which seems likely, it's only a matter of time before he finds out anyway. Put it down to experience, and walk away. 1
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