purplesoccer34 Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Recently, a guy messaged me online and we started talking a bit back and forth. I thought he was nice and agreed to meet him, though I wasn't expecting anything good to come out of it. I dressed up pretty casually, and went into it not really taking it seriously. When I met the guy, the first thing I noticed was that he had a really interesting personality and that he was incredibly nice and friendly. The conversation between us flowed quite well, much better than I thought it would. However, I didn't feel a strong attraction to him. What's worse is that I was comparing that level of attraction to what I felt with my ex, and was very disappointed. During the date, the guy mentioned twice that he wanted to see me again, but I had already decided that I didn't want to see him again because of the lack of physical attraction, so the only thing I did was smile and nod my head. Also, even after 3 hours of spending time together, he just didn't want to leave, and suggested we walk around a bit more. The next day, I thought about it long and hard and decided that I should give it another chance if he wanted to. He had so much ambition and personality. What was even better was that our personalities and ambitions matched up perfectly and I thought I would be stupid to let this guy go. I decided that physical attraction can definitely develop over time, as it did with my ex. So I then texted him saying, "thanks for the dinner, I had a great time." I didn't say anything about meeting him again, although I think that might have been a mistake. He then messages me explaining that it wouldn't work out because we're at different stages in our lives, and want different things out of life, but he wishes me luck for the future. I then sent him a short message after that wishing him well, and we haven't spoken since. I'm starting to think that I failed to show any interest in seeing him again during the date and that's what drove him away, but I'm not sure. Is there any way I can get a second chance with this guy? It boggles my mind that he showed so much interest in me during the date but his text message the next day proved otherwise. I can't stop thinking about him, and I don't know if there's anything I can do now.
Kaiten Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 You're in luck. I also happen to be an ambitious and interesting guy (That's what everyone says about me). Let me have a go. The truth is that you very likely pushed him away at the dinner. Nobody is born interesting and so once you become that you have a knack for being able to discern what is or is not interesting. What this means is that it is possible he perceived your lack of enthusiasm on the date. The only part that goes against what I think right now is the part where you said he seemed like he didn't want to leave. All in all, here's what I can match up: When it comes to ambitious guys, (such as myself) once we make up our mind on something, we are pretty solid. So if he is anything like me, he felt a loss and spun the slots again. "Thanks for dinner, I had a great time." If that's really all you sent then, in this case, that's bad. It lacks personality and feeling. As far as ANY case goes, your lack of interest will turn any guy away. The good news is, there is something you can do... You can recontact him. (I'd do it with a phone call) Let him know what's up. "I'm sorry if I didn't seem that interested. I am. I don't think our goals are all that different. Is there any way we can have dinner again? I'd really like that." ^that's is (effectively) what you say. There ya go 1
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