jamie353352 Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 I met my ex-boyfriend six months ago in a dating website and we hit it of instantly and we ended dating seriously after a few weeks. I was his first "official" girlfriend and he was my first boyfriend. We soon started having sexual relations after a month of dating (i was a virgin too -.-) and so we began to form a closer relationship. My initial though was, "he got what he wanted, hes going to leave", well a few months later he was still there. He became integrated with my family (got my sister a job where he works) and he got involved in a lot of my life. A few month ago i introduced him to my what at the time i considered my best friend. I had only met her a year ago but I became rather close and she had become an integrated part of my circle of friends at the University. At first he was put off by her constant talking and very loud personality but after we hanged out more often he began to like her. About a month ago he confessed he had a crush on her and he wanted to be honest with me. He told me that honesty was important in our relationship and that I shouldn't worry over the crush because he was in love with me and a crush meant that nothing was ever going to happen. So while i was dating my boyfriend I began to get a lot of added stress in my life, i became severely depressed to the point i wanted to commit suicide. Afterwards, my "friend" went and told my boyfriend and both of the insisted on getting me helped because they loved me. They went with me through my psychiatric sessions and helped me. We hanged out even more as the three of us and about a month ago i agreed stupidly to have a nap in the same bed, the three of us. I caught him two times groping her and touching her and i was about to break up with him. She took me out of there when she found out and she convinced me that night to stay with him because it was honest accident and he loved me. I told her everything. I told her about the crush and after that I felt like she was purposelessly getting closer. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar I and immediately got placed in medication. I began to have manias and began to aggressively attack people. Attacking them verbally and emotionally. My boyfriend was one of my victims as well as my "friend" and i deleted her from my life and refused to talk things out with her because i felt that she as trying to get close and steal my boyfriend. This attacks and manias went on for a month until I lost all my friends last week. They deleted me and blocked me as well as refused to have any contact with me. My boyfriend stayed by my side regardless of how i humiliated and treated him saying that he loved me and would always be there. While this was going on we still had our good dates and had sex almost every other day. Then my boyfriend began to distant himself from me since last Saturday, after my friends left my side. He began to have more sex with me but distant himself, stopped responding to some of my messages and there were days he refused to see me, just talked and text. Then finally after out six month anniversary, on the 24th he messaged me saying he loved me like i couldn't imagine and that i was his best friend. I though everything was fine. Then on Wednesday he asked me for a break and i refused to have it so he broke up with me under the conditions that it was undefined and he was going to think about it. If he changed his mind he would let me know. He still picked up my sister for work and kept constant contact with her asking her how i was and if i was okay. He would tell her how he missed the old me, before all this bipolar tantrums, and how he needed his space and wanted to come back. I began posting on Facebook a lot of positive things and he would read them and not sleep at all. After that I got upset and told him if he wasn't going to be with me on my worst side then i didn't want him on my good side. I told him straight out that if he wasn't going to be with me on my bad than he didnt deserve my good. He was on the line and said "Why? ... I told you i didnt want the break up ... i wanted a break" Then after that he just said "Okay if thats what you want." I attempted to make him jealous and i started posting statuses where i mentioned this guy he was extremely jealous of was flirting with me and messaging me. After his I want to come back speech he went and told my sister he was giving me though love. This was the only way i would ever get better. He felt that i didn't need him in my life and he was going to step aside for that other guy. then he was telling my sister he was proud of how i was becoming more strong and changing positively without him and i showed him that i didn't need him. He also said that he knew my rock bottom was losing him and that after i hit rock bottom i was going to get better from then on. It was a way of showing me though love. He deleted me from Facebook because "it hurt him" to see my post and he couldn't sleep because he constantly kept looking at it. Hours later, he told me to call him and he told that if I wanted to know the truth on why he ended things, i told him yes. He said he had feelings for someone else. "as we started hanging out longer things happened and i felt the chemistry between us and I want to talk to her about it" i asked him if it was her and he said yeah. after that i acted very cool, calm and collective and I told him that i would support that decision if that made him happy. I even called her and made asked her as a woman to woman what she was feeling and if she said she liked him that way too told me that these past two weeks they been seeking comfort in each other and she couldn't help feeling this way. i told here right there and then that i would step aside because i truly love him and I would let him be happy with her if she could promise me that. she told me she admired me for actually calling her and giving her the heart of the one person whom i loved, that she has been in that same situation and never in hell would she have been able to do that. So last night he was sitting with my sister telling her that hypothetical situation on where if the person was conflicted in having strong feelings for an individual who was treating him like crap and making him miserable and woman who offered him comfort showed up what would he do in that situation? Would he pick love and misery and risk things not getting better or try it with this other girl? So now that things are blown over I cant help but to keep wanting to know what happened. At least for peace of mind. Did he ever actually love me and still does only just got confused because of the comfort she provided him? Or was there something going on, and they found the perfect way to reveal their affair in a way where there would be no one to blame but me? I am so confused. i even told him today on the phone if this confusing was going on for two weeks why now? We had sex for two weeks straight and he was there with me every step of the way telling me he loved me! Why now? Why did he all of sudden realized he had feelings for her? He said that he knows he ****ed up on that aspect. why would he tell my sister all that other **** and at the end of the day say ... i have strong feelings for her? Its never going to work between us again. We tried it, it failed. Why now? I think i pressured him into making that decision. If he was confused about both of us i feel like i pushed him out to the my "friend's arms". i feel like hes still in his infatuation/comfort stage with her and at the end of the day his feelings were still there and when he found out about the other guy he just completely said "I see your talking to that guy now and your listening and making decisions because hes getting in your head" this is what he said yesterday when i called him that i didn't want anything with him if he wasn't going to be there through my worst. He said the other guy was feeding things in my mind and why the hell i was listening to him.and he just gave up.i dont understand how his feelings just gave out like that especially when he kept on telling me he loved me and last week we had a pregnancy scare and he was delighted and now things ended up this bad. i dont know if i should feel like i pushed him to that or he has always been a dick and knew that he wanted my friend since the very beginning. Please help?
iDrumKing Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Whoa! This really needs to be split up into bullets OP.
sooshi Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Yeah... your post is too hard to read without paragraph breaks. 1
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