What 6 months of strict NC has done to me! (MUST READ, FOR YOUR OWN SAKE!)

March 29, 2014

Hello there my fellow broken hearted people. I'll make this short.

In the end of October of 2014 i broke up with my, what i though was my soulmate, of 2 years. We lived together, shared everything, was my best friend, you know? All that you are feeling right now.

It feels as if you will never be whole, right?

It feels as if there is no point to ever try to love again, right?

You spend hours upon hours searching for threads on this site for a magical solution, a potion to heal your heartache of sorts, right?

Let me tell you this, after HARDCORE NO CONTACT of over 6 MONTHS

(YES IT'S POSSIBLE!!) - You will feel good again, you will evolve, you will grow, you will feel better! Now you probably think to yourself "Oh, but I already was growing, and evolving in the relationship, I could not have had it any better" = ... believe me, that's bull.

I was just like you, complete broken hearted, felt like ****, i started working out, gained muscle weight fast as hell due to going frequently to the gym.

Some days are better, some days are sh*t, for the most part only sh*t right? I know man, girl, whateve. I know, believe me, I do.

I was down in the dump, started looking down on myself even though of all my progress. People tell you it will get better in time, and that you will forget in time, right? Well, the thing is, YOU DON'T - BUT! And this is a major but (no pun intended.. maybe a little, hehe ) You learn to live with it. It won't sting as much in time.

But you have to do this, simple steps but hard to stick to and MASTER, like the one inner master that you will become after this motherfudging ordeal, OK? Listen!

Here is what i did. I removed her from my facebook, i deleted every movie or picture of here, i threw away everything she gave to me, i cleansed my apartment to the outmost point of possibilities. Everything connected to here, even platonic friends was deleted!

The first weeks went by without the urge creeping up on me. But after 3-4 months i was SO SO SO SO close to watch here facebook. BUT I DID NOT, AND SO SHOULD YOU!!! YOU HAVE TO COMPLETELY STICK TO THE NO CONTACT, YOU MAY THINK YOU ARE FINE AFTER 4-5 MONTHS BUT YOU ARE NOT. STICK WITH NO CONTACT, DON'T LOOK ON HER FACEBOOK OR WHATEVER!

Step 2. Talk about it constantly for 2 months with your closest friends, i really want you to dwelve in the pain, it's your pain to carry, you can't remove it, don't hide it, FEEL it, let it come! I went for long walks with sad songs and i grieved and i grieved everyday for several months, DO THAT till that one day that you find yourself not crying anymore, believe me that day will come, PLEASE PLEASE, believe me.

You will search for her/him on the streets everytime you hit the city, you would want to call her when you are out drinking or whatever, you are even considering passing by her home since i's on the way to that event your going to, or that friend your gonna visit, right? The thing is, the less you know, the better you will feel. The memories will switch, you will hate the person for a while, you would want to cry for them, tell them how much you love them. The thing here is that, they already know that, when you pleaded and pleaded with them without them even giving slightes bit of effort, right?

You will grow. You will have difficult thoughts. You want to give up. I hear and FEEL every.. single.. word.. that you are going through, I do.

I know that you who are reading this feel like " Oh he seems so happy now, he was not in love the same amount of which I was " - I know that some of you feel like this towards this post, and that's fine, because I used to think so of the same kind of posts.

What helped me the most was to put myself out there, I bought a headset and talked to people through online-gaming and random forums. I have actually gotten really close with a guy know who i consider to be a really good friend of mine already, and we are planning on haning a lot this summer. He's a really cool guy ( no homo! and if you are in that league, that's cool bro )

And after 6 months, I felt that it was time for me to start looking for dates, at first, and still a bit know, I did not feel for it. But the thing is that you HAVE to KEEP moving ON, MOVE ON, move the fudging ON, YOU WILL, YOU CAN, AND YOU WANT THAT for yourself, you know it!! And you will get there!

But the most important thing that helped me is going S-T-R-I-C-T NO CONTACT, I can't stress that ENOUGH, OK!?

If you have any questions or want support, I'll be here for you, just write here or PM me and I will do the best out of my knowledge around your situation. I want you all people here to know that you are amazing people, I know how what a hard time you are going throw, this pain that you are feeling, this horrible horrible pain. You feel numb, what's the point in anything, right?

Motivate yourself with threads like these, because they speak the truth!

I care so much for myself and my fellow loveshackers, I want to share and heal you ALL, I would if i could. I want to share what I've learned from this, it will get better with time, IT WILL.

DWELVE ON THE PAIN FOR 2 months MAX

GO DEEP INTO IT

FEEL IT

HATE IT

LOVE THE PAIN

GRIEVE YOUR LOSS OF LOVED ONE

GRIEVE YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER

LET GO OF THE HOPE

IT WILL DISSAPATE AFTER A WHILE *IT DOES AFTER NC*

You are an amazing creature put on this hell but yet beautiful place we all call home. You will find love again, you will, believe me, you actually WILL. Don't look for it, be yourself, love yourself, love the small things right now, do what's good for you. You will become, the new you, a 2.0 of yourself.

And one day, you will make a thread like this, I know you will.

I send all my peace and love to all of you.

I LOVE YOU.

March 29, 2014

See this is what we preach day in and day out to you guys.

Why say anything else except you go girl !!!!

March 29, 2014

Beautiful! Thank you thank you! It is always helpful to read inspiring stories of no contact. It gets better, it does it does! Thanks for sharing.

March 30, 2014

It is good to hear that maybe in as soon as 5 months or so I will be where you are.

Quick question though, you said you broke up with your ex. Does that mean you did the dumping or it was kind of an amicable thing? Just curious, because that may have an impact on recovery time.

March 30, 2014

Hello there my fellow broken hearted people. I'll make this short.
In the end of October of 2014 i broke up with my, what i though was my soulmate, of 2 years. We lived together, shared everything, was my best friend, you know? All that you are feeling right now.

It feels as if you will never be whole, right?
It feels as if there is no point to ever try to love again, right?
You spend hours upon hours searching for threads on this site for a magical solution, a potion to heal your heartache of sorts, right?

Let me tell you this, after HARDCORE NO CONTACT of over 6 MONTHS
(YES IT'S POSSIBLE!!) - You will feel good again, you will evolve, you will grow, you will feel better! Now you probably think to yourself "Oh, but I already was growing, and evolving in the relationship, I could not have had it any better" = ... believe me, that's bull.

I was just like you, complete broken hearted, felt like ****, i started working out, gained muscle weight fast as hell due to going frequently to the gym.
Some days are better, some days are sh*t, for the most part only sh*t right? I know man, girl, whateve. I know, believe me, I do.

I was down in the dump, started looking down on myself even though of all my progress. People tell you it will get better in time, and that you will forget in time, right? Well, the thing is, YOU DON'T - BUT! And this is a major but (no pun intended.. maybe a little, hehe ) You learn to live with it. It won't sting as much in time.

But you have to do this, simple steps but hard to stick to and MASTER, like the one inner master that you will become after this motherfudging ordeal, OK? Listen!

Here is what i did. I removed her from my facebook, i deleted every movie or picture of here, i threw away everything she gave to me, i cleansed my apartment to the outmost point of possibilities. Everything connected to here, even platonic friends was deleted!

The first weeks went by without the urge creeping up on me. But after 3-4 months i was SO SO SO SO close to watch here facebook. BUT I DID NOT, AND SO SHOULD YOU!!! YOU HAVE TO COMPLETELY STICK TO THE NO CONTACT, YOU MAY THINK YOU ARE FINE AFTER 4-5 MONTHS BUT YOU ARE NOT. STICK WITH NO CONTACT, DON'T LOOK ON HER FACEBOOK OR WHATEVER!

Step 2. Talk about it constantly for 2 months with your closest friends, i really want you to dwelve in the pain, it's your pain to carry, you can't remove it, don't hide it, FEEL it, let it come! I went for long walks with sad songs and i grieved and i grieved everyday for several months, DO THAT till that one day that you find yourself not crying anymore, believe me that day will come, PLEASE PLEASE, believe me.

You will search for her/him on the streets everytime you hit the city, you would want to call her when you are out drinking or whatever, you are even considering passing by her home since i's on the way to that event your going to, or that friend your gonna visit, right? The thing is, the less you know, the better you will feel. The memories will switch, you will hate the person for a while, you would want to cry for them, tell them how much you love them. The thing here is that, they already know that, when you pleaded and pleaded with them without them even giving slightes bit of effort, right?

You will grow. You will have difficult thoughts. You want to give up. I hear and FEEL every.. single.. word.. that you are going through, I do.

I know that you who are reading this feel like " Oh he seems so happy now, he was not in love the same amount of which I was " - I know that some of you feel like this towards this post, and that's fine, because I used to think so of the same kind of posts.

What helped me the most was to put myself out there, I bought a headset and talked to people through online-gaming and random forums. I have actually gotten really close with a guy know who i consider to be a really good friend of mine already, and we are planning on haning a lot this summer. He's a really cool guy ( no homo! and if you are in that league, that's cool bro )

And after 6 months, I felt that it was time for me to start looking for dates, at first, and still a bit know, I did not feel for it. But the thing is that you HAVE to KEEP moving ON, MOVE ON, move the fudging ON, YOU WILL, YOU CAN, AND YOU WANT THAT for yourself, you know it!! And you will get there!

But the most important thing that helped me is going S-T-R-I-C-T NO CONTACT, I can't stress that ENOUGH, OK!?

If you have any questions or want support, I'll be here for you, just write here or PM me and I will do the best out of my knowledge around your situation. I want you all people here to know that you are amazing people, I know how what a hard time you are going throw, this pain that you are feeling, this horrible horrible pain. You feel numb, what's the point in anything, right?

Motivate yourself with threads like these, because they speak the truth!

I care so much for myself and my fellow loveshackers, I want to share and heal you ALL, I would if i could. I want to share what I've learned from this, it will get better with time, IT WILL.

DWELVE ON THE PAIN FOR 2 months MAX
GO DEEP INTO IT
FEEL IT
HATE IT
LOVE THE PAIN

GRIEVE YOUR LOSS OF LOVED ONE
GRIEVE YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER
LET GO OF THE HOPE
IT WILL DISSAPATE AFTER A WHILE *IT DOES AFTER NC*

You are an amazing creature put on this hell but yet beautiful place we all call home. You will find love again, you will, believe me, you actually WILL. Don't look for it, be yourself, love yourself, love the small things right now, do what's good for you. You will become, the new you, a 2.0 of yourself.

And one day, you will make a thread like this, I know you will.
I send all my peace and love to all of you.

I LOVE YOU.

And then you traveled back in time to tell us about it before it happened?

March 30, 2014

And then you traveled back in time to tell us about it before it happened?

And they say cyborgs don't have hearts:confused:

March 30, 2014

In the end of October of 2014 i broke up with my, what i though was my soulmate, of 2 years. We lived together, shared everything, was my best friend, you know? All that you are feeling right now.

What was your reasoning for breaking up with your SO? Because like lamis said, that could definitely have an impact on your recovery time.

For example:

If she cheated on you and you found out, then broke up with her. That would still sting as you were rejected even though you are the dumper.

But if you just stopped loving them, checked out of the relationship, then dumped them, thats a different story.

March 30, 2014

Not to be a Doubting Thomas, but I'd count your lucky starts if I were you. I know some of us here, myself included, have recently passed the 1 year mark. And yes the pain is less and the feelings are different, but it is still far from over. Far from happy... Still much confusion and frustration. Still a daily battle.

I know for myself, I have some other issues stacked on top of my BU which are adding to the challenge, but I long for the day when this is 100% manageable. Not there yet

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What 6 months of strict NC has done to me! (MUST READ, FOR YOUR OWN SAKE!)

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