Betrayedandhurt Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Let me just begin by saying that I am 100% crushed. My boyfriend of 5 years left me for anther woman. I am 23 years old and he is 22. The woman he left me for is 26. I didn't see it coming at all. He left for basic training in April of 2013. When he left I was about 7 weeks pregnant with our child. I was also facing not having a place to live. He assured me that he was never going to leave me and that he would be there to love me for the rest of my life and provide for our child. He wrote me so many letters during his basic training. I ended up misscarrying our child and unfortunately had to write him in a letter explaining what happened. I didn't want to write him that in a letter but I couldn't continue lying to him saying that everything was fine. He admitted that he was hurt but assured me that if we never had children that I was all that he needed. That he loved me regardless. I got to his graduation and was so happy to see him! We spent hours in a hotel in bed all over each other. Went shopping. Made love at least 8 times. Then I had to leave an dead back home and he left for his AIT. All during the time he was in his AIT we talked every day. I mean every morning, afternoon, evening. We tango(video chat) each other damn near every day! He still constantly told me on a daily basis that I was the love of his life and that I was all he desired. Though we were many many miles apart we were what I thought still madly in love with each other. He come home after he graduates and breaks up with me for no ****ing reason. I beg and beg and beg for him to take me back an explain what went wrong. I so if there was someone else. He denies it for almost and entire month. Finally, we get into this huge arguement and he confesses that he met a girl in his AIT and he likes her a lot. I instantly begin to cry. I ask him what did I do to deserve this betrayal! I was in a state of shock. I asked him if he loves her and he assured me that he didn't. Turns out he does. I still, knowing that he had left me for someone else, begged him to take me back. To remember all the good times and history we have. To fight for us be he continuously turned me down I cried for the entire month of December. EVERY DAY. RELIGIOUSLY. I constantly ask him to take me back. He tells me the second week in December that him and the girl broke up. We hooked up and had sex. He then comes two weeks later and says that him and the girl are SERIOUSLY done this time and he wants nothing to do with her and he has no clue why he was with her in the first place. We spend New Years ever together. Kissed on the countdown. Made love that night for 2 hours. I go visit him at his duty station and spend a blissful weekend with him in each other arms. Everything was great from what I thought. Once I left that weekend, he disappeared and begin ignoring me. He then changes his number and doesn't give it to me. We did not talk for an entire week. I had no clue what was going on. I was so scared that something had happened to him. He literally disappeared and fell off the face of the earth and left me worried sick. So I decide to hack his email. I see that he is still communicating with that same girl and is planning to go on vacation with her in february. I call the girl, yes my crazy ass called her. She had no clue he was still with me. We basically bust him out completely. He was LIVING with this girl. He moved her to our home state. He was having unprotected sex with the both of us. Could've easily gotten us both pregnant at the same time. Fast forward to now, he told me that he wants to give us another try. That I am the love of his life and that I deserve so much better because of how a great a woman I had been to him. He claims to love me so much and that he has changed. I say well prove it and that he can not be in contact with this girl at all anymore; that I won't tolerate it. He says that he will show me he's changed and that he doesn't not talk to her anymore. So I believe him like a stupid ass naive girl. He is sweet to me for an entire week. Calling me all day. Getting back into the groove of what we once had. Then he comes home that weekend and all **** hits the fan. I stop hearing from him. He begins to ignore me. I check his phone records and of course he is still talking to this girl. I am so ****ing crushed. How, after all I've done for him, after all the times I've forgiven him could he betray me like this?! I carried our baby and wen though a misscarrage by myself! I was faithful to him. I have been 100% loyal to him since September of 2008 when we first began dating. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. We were supposed to get married and everything!!! We had applied for our marriage license! Sadly, a part of me still wants to be with him. I keep thinking that once day he's gonna change? Why can't I let him go? My feelings are beyond hurt and my heart is broken in pieces. **** him and that girl! I hate them!
bluegreen Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 (edited) Lord have a mercy. You want him he half wants you but wants HER MORE and she wishy washy wants him to. OK here it is consider this OVER he cheated he still chases her and will keep chasing her he might not love her like he loved you "before". But he wants her for whatever reason be he wants her enough to f... up 5 years with you and your child as well that is on its way. Today her Tomorrow who knows who else ? Leave before you end up more hurt humiliated and degraded. Gather your friends and family around you and start caring for one of the good things left here your child. We get that uniform can screw up with best of the man but that excuse only goes so far I see no "man" here. YOU lost the baby ? No no girl you kick the bastard out the door and thats all there is to it. HUGS Edited March 29, 2014 by bluegreen clear up 1
Author Betrayedandhurt Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 It's like I know I need to let him go and get over him but for some reason I can't manifest that into my actions. I love him so much :/
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