Medium.Lumo Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 (edited) So in a previous thread, a poster claimed my girlfriend was doing "the typical passive submissive female thing". I found it very interesting but didn't get any clarification. Is this a known behavioural pattern for women? Have you heard of it? I never have. What do you understand by it? I have read up on passive and submissive personalities, but none of the content I have read has mentioned anything specific to women. I'd really like to hear everyone's views on this. Edited March 28, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to thread and edit title
Grumpybutfun Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Anyone of any gender can be passive submissive. You have had your gf for a week and a few days and known her in a friendship capacity otherwise so to diagnose her as anything would be premature. Place boundaries, ask for what you want and/or what you don't want. Your main objective should be getting to know her as a gf. You simply do not know her well enough to diagnose her. Good luck, Grumps 1
GoreSP Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 (edited) Care to give us more detail on the subject? Edited March 28, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Reference to deleted post redacted.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 Ok, fair enough - here it is Me: Originally Posted by Medium.Lumo View Post Thanks veggie but I'm not a puppy dog. In fact when someone was upsetting her I was the one who talked back to him - she didn't. It's because she's too sweet and doesn't get angry, but you could say it makes her more of a puppy dog than me if you wanted to go that route. I also have voiced some of my concerns but not all. I want to break up the requests into easily digest able chunks for her so as not to overwhelm her with complaints. Emilia: Not really. She is just doing the passive submissive female thing. She is getting what she wants because you can't set your boundaries.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 Thanks Grumpy. Good advice. I guess I shouldn't be trying to analyze her this early, but I'm still interested in this phenomenon and would be interested in seeing if there are any other common traits and how closely she matches, if at all. Anyone of any gender can be passive submissive. You have had your gf for a week and a few days and known her in a friendship capacity otherwise so to diagnose her as anything would be premature. Place boundaries, ask for what you want and/or what you don't want. Your main objective should be getting to know her as a gf. You simply do not know her well enough to diagnose her. Good luck, Grumps
Gaeta Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 There is no secret to unveil here, no personality trait, she is messy. She was not raised to pick up after herself and was not brought up to respect other people's space. I imagine she is also managing other aspects of her life with a lot of slack like she's not punctual, pays her bills late, etc. 1
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 OMG. You are so right. Punctual - not at all. She is sometimes an hour or even two late for things. LOL. Pays her bills - well, her bills are mainly covered by her parents and she lived with her parents up until last week so I can't really say whether this is (will be?) true.. One thing I'm amazed by is that her school notes are so messy, they really look like crap, I don't think I could have gotten through school like that, but she does extremely well - blows my mind. (Then again, I studied science and she studies law, you can't compare the two difficulty wise). There is no secret to unveil here, no personality trait, she is messy. She was not raised to pick up after herself and was not brought up to respect other people's space. I imagine she is also managing other aspects of her life with a lot of slack like she's not punctual, pays her bills late, etc.
GemmaUK Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Pays her bills - well, her bills are mainly covered by her parents and she lived with her parents up until last week so I can't really say whether this is (will be?) true.. Er...you have sorted out the financials about living together haven't you?
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 Er...you have sorted out the financials about living together haven't you? No, not really...
Gaeta Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Just read your other thread. I think you are infatuated with her looks and the fact she is hot. You're willing to put up with it basically just to have a hot girl. You do mention that she's a sweet girl but I fail to see how sweet she is. She messes your property, she ignores your requests, she invades your space, help herself in your fridge, use you for sexual gratification without being concerns for your needs (that's not intimacy), is rude with you by being extremely late, and when you talk about your boundaries she treats you like a little boy and goes *there there* to you with a little tap on your head. That makes you feel like a man? The good news is. After a while dating someone we stop seeing their shell and when we look at them we see the sum of their qualities....or the sum of their flaws. In a little while you will reach that state and will see her for whom she is, not for her shell, then you'll have nothing to look at. If this girl is soooo freakin hot, like out of your league hot? Ever wonder why she's with you? Here's a clue....living out of her parents for free.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 It sounds bad when you say it that way. But there's more to her. She is kind to everyone, isn't stuck up despite the fact that she's hot, and is always the first one in the group to want to help. When my parents cat had to be put down she gave me a really long hug and kissed my head. It's not that she treats people like children, she's just sweet. As for using me - she isn't. I enjoy it Just read your other thread. I think you are infatuated with her looks and the fact she is hot. You're willing to put up with it basically just to have a hot girl. You do mention that she's a sweet girl but I fail to see how sweet she is. She messes your property, she ignores your requests, she invades your space, help herself in your fridge, use you for sexual gratification without being concerns for your needs (that's not intimacy), is rude with you by being extremely late, and when you talk about your boundaries she treats you like a little boy and goes *there there* to you with a little tap on your head. That makes you feel like a man? The good news is. After a while dating someone we stop seeing their shell and when we look at them we see the sum of their qualities....or the sum of their flaws. In a little while you will reach that state and will see her for whom she is, not for her shell, then you'll have nothing to look at. If this girl is soooo freakin hot, like out of your league hot? Ever wonder why she's with you? Here's a clue....living out of her parents for free.
clia Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 No, not really... Are you seriously letting her move in with you after one week of dating? As in, she is moving her stuff into your place?
GemmaUK Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 No, not really... You might want to make that a priority unless you can afford to look after her.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 Are you seriously letting her move in with you after one week of dating? As in, she is moving her stuff into your place? She has moved some of her stuff in, yes... But even though we have only dated for a short time we have been friends for a long time...
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 You might want to make that a priority unless you can afford to look after her. What do you mean? We should both be looking after each other
Author Medium.Lumo Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 So no one has any insight into the passive submissive female theory?
Recommended Posts