Li T Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Hi, first timer on the boards. Here's is my situation. Met a girl through mutual friends and we hit it off pretty well. It's been a month now and things seemed to be going swell until about a week ago. Sunday I ended up inviting myself to her place and we hung and watched tv. I had my arm around her and tried to kiss her but she hid her face. Bare in mind, not too long before this, she texted me that she was sorry she didn't kiss me after a night out. So after the failed attempt, things felt a bit tense and she said she was tired and might go to bed. We hugged at the door and I left. She hasn't responded to any of my attempts to contact her since and today is Friday. Was I being too aggressive, too soon? Did I just ruin any chance I had or can this be salvaged?
David87 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 It wasn't too soon because you said that you went out for a month with her. I think that to much time has passed and you ended up in the friendzone and you tried to get out by kissing her...... She's not interested. Find another girl and try to kiss the sooner and always look for sings that it's ok or not to do that, usually girls have a ''look'' when it's ok to kiss them.
Author Li T Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 (edited) We kissed before so I'm hoping that's not the problem. It just feels like I upset her or did something wrong for her to ignore me for almost a week. Should I just wait it out or is it too late? And how long is too long? I'm giving her space to see if she'll contact me but when is it okay for me to call and see? Edited March 28, 2014 by Li T
David87 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 She realised that she doesn't want you as her boyfriend. More info needed.
Author Li T Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 (edited) Okay. So here's everything I can recall for the last month. We hit it off great, she says she likes me but also mentioned that she doesn't do "dates" and doesn't like being labeled. She's been single for over a year now and from what I've seen she only had one boyfriend. And it ended badly. She also always like to mention that she has issues. Not absolutely sure what she means by that but I think I can understand. 2 weeks in, we met up downtown and I met one of her friends. He was pretty buzzed and told me she had been talking about me to him and he mentioned she's looking for something long term. I had high hopes and at the end of the night, we made out in her car. Just little over a week ago, we went to the beach with 2 of our other friends. On the trip home, she laid down on me in the backseats. That same night when we got back to her place, she was having problems with her mum and decided to leave. She took me with her and we ended up talking while she drove around. Later that night she dropped me off at my place and we hugged. A few moments later, she texts me saying apologizing for not kissing me. On a side note, I've met her mom and her sisters. And she likes to bring up how much her mom likes me. I'm into this girl but she's either really messing with me or there's something else because it's pretty clear that we do have chemistry. And I just found out from our mutual friend that she mentioned she wants to "take things really slow". Edited March 28, 2014 by Li T
David87 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 She's confused, I mean i know that she wants to take things slow but to ignore you for a week.... that's a red flag. You didn't do anything wrong so don't beat yourself to hard, shes the one whow has issues and needs to slow them. There could be the possibility that she found someone else but i'm not sure. So try making a last attempt to contact her and if she ignores you I think that you know what that means. Good luck buddy. 1
Author Li T Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 Yeah I do also think she's confused or afraid to let someone in. She is usually always at home drawing and sketching without talking to anybody. She is an introvert very similar to me. I'm going to attempt to see her this weekend and hopefully things will look up. Thanks for the advice, it really helps a lot.
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Bah. I would be annoyed if someone tells me they wished they had kissed me, then next time I see them I go in for a kiss and they shut me down. I would go NC on her and wait until she makes up her mind about you. 1
Author Li T Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 How long is too long when it comes to NC?
David87 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Bah. I would be annoyed if someone tells me they wished they had kissed me, then next time I see them I go in for a kiss and they shut me down. I would go NC on her and wait until she makes up her mind about you. You think that is strange and annoying? A month ago I had sex with a girl then she ignored me for 3 weeks she invites me for coffee, this sunday, after that I tried to kiss her but she turns her face and I end up kissing her cheek geez some people.
David87 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 How long is too long when it comes to NC? Nc if or you to move on. For me NC is forever or until I reach indifference.
Gaeta Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Okay. So here's everything I can recall for the last month. ......but also mentioned that she doesn't do "dates" .......and doesn't like being labeled. ......She's been single for over a year now and from what I've seen she only had one boyfriend. And it ended badly. .....She also always like to mention that she has issues. And you still decided to pursue this woman? why? Wasn't that enough red flags for you? Have you listened at all to what she said? She has issues and now you see what having issues means. Abort and move on. 1
David87 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Nc if or you to move on. For me NC is forever or until I reach indifference. Sorry, I meant to say that NC is for you to move on. My phone did a fast one on me lol )
Author Li T Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 She's confused, I mean i know that she wants to take things slow but to ignore you for a week.... that's a red flag. You didn't do anything wrong so don't beat yourself to hard, shes the one whow has issues and needs to slow them. There could be the possibility that she found someone else but i'm not sure. So try making a last attempt to contact her and if she ignores you I think that you know what that means. Good luck buddy. So....she just replied back today. She claims that her phone was on silent and missed all my attempts to contact her. I don't even know how to respond to this.
J21 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 So....she just replied back today. She claims that her phone was on silent and missed all my attempts to contact her. I don't even know how to respond to this. Her interest level dropped. Whatever happened, she's not interested any more. That's why she pulled away from the kiss and went MIA. Let her be, going after her will make her run even faster. Don't respond to the text, just leave her be. She'll know how to contact you if she changes her mind.
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