Forget About Her Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 We met in graduate school, she is 25, I am 31. She is absolutely stunning, very smart (top of her class), etc. We dated for about 3-3.5 months. Everything was great, we had great nights together, amazing sex, met the parents, and everything is going pretty well. Early on in the dating, she admitted that she was seeing someone else, as her phone would often go off during our dates, but she was polite enough to not entertain the calls/texts. I never said anything, or acted jealous. One night, she mentioned that she was going to stop seeing anyone else, even if I wouldn't. I asked her how she would break the news to the other guy(s), and she told me that her default breakup method is to just ignore them until they go away. Cut to the present, and it's been a week with no contact. We talked everyday, all day throughout the day. I recently went on a weekend trip out of the country with my boys. This trip was planned and paid for before her and I ever started talking. She said her ex-boyfriend always went on "guys-trips" and it hurt her that I planned to do the same. I told her that a once per year guys trip is not unreasonable. Anyway, we didn't have any blowout fight, or anything catastrophic. Then she just stopped communicating. My buddy saw her in school, so I know she is fine. She is obviously employing her default breakup method. I sent her 2 more texts, and got no reply. I'm not going to chase her or hound her if she obviously doesn't want to communicate. It hurts more than I thought it would, as she seemed like an amazing catch. I'm not sure what the hell went wrong. Just wanted to vent a little because even though we only dated 3 months, it still hurts. Thanks for listening.
pteromom Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Sounds like you are better off. If she gets "hurt" when you have a life outside of her, that's not a good sign at all! Her break up method is very immature as well. All in all, sounds like she isn't ready for a mature relationship. 4
Chi townD Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Sounds like a self absorbed princess that's used to getting her own way. Pretty immature if you ask me. And the way she "breaks up" with dudes means she's a coward and hates conflict. 1
Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Ahhh yes, the old silent treatment/cold shoulder approach of letting someone down easy. My most recent ex tried that with me but when she did eventually talk to me, she would say that she needed to be alone but didn't NOT want to hear from me again. To me, this is such an immature way of handling things. If you want to end things with someone, just come out and say it. Sure, it may hurt the other person but it doesn't leave any doubt about where you stand. My opinion...don't even bother with this girl. Much like my ex, she seems too immature and unstable to handle an adult relationship.
white_bass87 Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Spend more time with people who are actually your good friends. 1
Author Forget About Her Posted March 27, 2014 Author Posted March 27, 2014 I appreciate the feedback. She got along great with my parents and brothers, loved to watch my football games, was very caring and sweet. Even if she had a complete 180 change of heart, I don't understand why she would just completely cut off communication, and not tell me that it's over. It is extremely immature, and I thought I meant enough to her that she would at least verbally end things. Her last text was "I miss you" to which I responded back the next day. I never heard back from her again. I had a feeling she was still going out on other dates because I told her I wanted to know her better before we call ourselves "boyfriend and girlfriend" but I made it very clear to her that I was not and would not see anyone else. And I really didn't. I called her while i was on vacation and she told me about a coworker who brought in his son to work so he could introduce them to each other, and 2 other "cute cops" who hit on her (I'm a cop, FYI). And magically, she no longer wants to talk. Very odd. I've gone out with a lot of girls in my life and never had one act like this.
lolablue17 Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Although I agree with everybody here that her way of braking up is wrong, selfish and immature, I want to mark the essential issue and not the style. Her style is foolish. But when on one hand you say how much "she is absolutely stunning", but on the other hand keep distance by saying that you dont want to called "boyfriend and girlfriend", you made her very insecure. So the guys trip came in a bad timing and just increased her insecurity. She wanted you and was willing to give her self totally, but you kind of pushed her away (in her point of view). You simply didnt read the signs well. Again, i'm not justifying her style at all... I'm just trying to Interpret the behavior. 1
mrs rubble Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Did you ask in the last text if the no reply meant things were over?
Author Forget About Her Posted March 27, 2014 Author Posted March 27, 2014 Although I agree with everybody here that her way of braking up is wrong, selfish and immature, I want to mark the essential issue and not the style. Her style is foolish. But when on one hand you say how much "she is absolutely stunning", but on the other hand keep distance by saying that you dont want to called "boyfriend and girlfriend", you made her very insecure. So the guys trip came in a bad timing and just increased her insecurity. She wanted you and was willing to give her self totally, but you kind of pushed her away (in her point of view). You simply didnt read the signs well. Again, i'm not justifying her style at all... I'm just trying to Interpret the behavior. You are 100% correct. I would change that if I could. But even considering that, I thought we were closer and had a much stronger bond. I never thought she would just ignore me away. And yes, I asked if her intention was to end things in the final text. I really was falling for her. I guess it's a lesson learned for the next girl that I care about :-/
bluegreen Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Oh I know I know can I answer this pretty please ? Not a smart intellectual self confidant respectful mature woman. Let us hope you are what she is not and will not forgive her cause OMG she so hot :rolleyes::rolleyes: let us hope ...
Author Forget About Her Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 Oh I know I know can I answer this pretty please ? Not a smart intellectual self confidant respectful mature woman. Let us hope you are what she is not and will not forgive her cause OMG she so hot :rolleyes::rolleyes: let us hope ... She was definitely the most needy woman I've ever dated. Another issue I've noticed is that I find it very hard to relate to women who have never lived outside of their parents home. I left 3 days after I turned 18 and built an incredibly good and successful life for myself, and I'm still very close with my parents. I find that adult women who have never been on their own have a very different perspective on life that I can't relate to. 1
bluegreen Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 And I believe we have a wrap here and can say CUT movie over : )) work done. Time for toast anyone ?
guest572 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 I think its slack .. Maybe after only 1 or 2 dates, but not after a 3 months relationship to just vanish.
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