LADIES: Share your experience with your shy guy here...

[Silver93]

Thanks for all the beautiful inputs! I really enjoyed reading every single one of them.

And I am really happy to let you know that my shy guy is being very receptive lately. I think he is slowly getting more comfortable with the idea that I am just as interested in him and that I am not trying to make a fool out of him. He seems more relaxed and confident than before and he also tends to be near me most of the time (although he still needs to work on trying to BE with me instead of being near me).

I hope this keeps improving and everything works out well in the end.

 

Good on you Confusedsoul14. Some of us shy guys just need a little reassurance that you are happy with us so we can grow as individuals. I wish you all the best for the future.

[Potion9]

So, the title says it all. I'm going through a shy guy situation and I'm most curious to know, how did you coax your shy guy out of his shell and HOW LONG did that take?

Please share your experience and let me learn

 

 

 

What do you mean out of his shell exactly?

In the bedroom? or going to clubs and social events etc? BIG BIG differences.

 

 

 

 

I am a "shy" guy. But I have really never had to make the first move... The GIRL has almost ALWAYS jumped all over me during dates. But I also make it a point to avoid clubs and big social events etc. The less people around the better for shy guys.

[Els]

My guy is 'shy', in the sense that he prefers not to socialize much and is pretty quiet when he does socialize. I didn't have to 'coax' him to do anything, though, he courted me and asked me out of his own accord, after getting to know me better. I'm not sure how 'long' it took since we were friends long before, but both of us had partners at the time we met. He started courting me after we were both single.

 

My ex, similarly, was 'shy' (well, at least, everyone who knew him said he was), but he asked me out sans any 'coaxing', too. In fact, he did so within barely 2 weeks of knowing me - quite a record for a 'shy' dude.

 

IMO if you are needing to 'coax' a guy, you need to think really long and hard about why you feel you should. My experience has been that no matter how shy a guy is, if he wants you, he will bite the bullet and ask you out (even if he sounds a little awkward while doing it). On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with being nice and friendly to them, as you should be with everyone anyway.

Edited April 19, 2014 by Elswyth

[Omei]

I dated a guy so shy for a little while when I hugged or kissed him he would breathe so heavy I could feel his whole body freeze up, shake a little, being close to him was weird and awkward, it all became very unattractive for me and I did not want to bring him out of his shell.

 

Def one of the girls that do not like shy guys!

 

Another thing they have sometimes is there was a different shy guy I knew who would only ever talk about his fears and insecurities after a week or so about that reassuring him it was like the same convo's over and over it got so exsausting!

 

He still tries to talk to me but I avoid him because I dont want to hear about all the scary things I've heard before it will be hours of insrcurity talk.

Edited April 19, 2014 by Omei

[MissBee]

So, the title says it all. I'm going through a shy guy situation and I'm most curious to know, how did you coax your shy guy out of his shell and HOW LONG did that take?

Please share your experience and let me learn

 

Hmmm....seems like too much work.

 

I've known and dated men who were more reserved, who liked to observe before jumping in, especially in public situations, but one on one with me they weren't shy and didn't really need to be coaxed. One on one they opened up, we talked, laughed, they certainly had no problems asking me out, planning things etc. One on one they were comfortable and weren't shy at all.

 

I am wary of someone who is "shy" one on one as well who needs coaxing, IMO that's often a code for them being emotionally unavailable or not that into you.I have witnessed women talking about "shy guys" and when they explain what's happening I'm like he isn't shy and isn't some damaged puppy who needs coaxing out of his shell, this man isn't that invested hence his reticent nature. As even shy guys IME, when they really like a woman, they don't allow the shyness to stop them from showing her.

 

I don't know if that's the case for you. I only read your initial post which didn't give too many details. But for me, I actually prefer a more reserved man; however, that is their public face, behind closed doors when it's just us they aren't shy and needed no coaxing at all. I couldn't personally date a man who was sooo shy that even one on one I had to coax him and pet him and treat him like a baby animal and wait to be rewarded with his trust after some time....it wouldn't work for me.

Edited April 19, 2014 by MissBee

[passion_flower]

My guy is 'shy', in the sense that he prefers not to socialize much and is pretty quiet when he does socialize. I didn't have to 'coax' him to do anything, though, he courted me and asked me out of his own accord, after getting to know me better. I'm not sure how 'long' it took since we were friends long before, but both of us had partners at the time we met. He started courting me after we were both single.

 

My ex, similarly, was 'shy' (well, at least, everyone who knew him said he was), but he asked me out sans any 'coaxing', too. In fact, he did so within barely 2 weeks of knowing me - quite a record for a 'shy' dude.

 

IMO if you are needing to 'coax' a guy, you need to think really long and hard about why you feel you should. My experience has been that no matter how shy a guy is, if he wants you, he will bite the bullet and ask you out (even if he sounds a little awkward while doing it). On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with being nice and friendly to them, as you should be with everyone anyway.

 

My thoughts exactly. Same story with my guy too except neither of us had partners when we met.

 

Of course there was a bit of awkwardness like awkward pauses when we were saying good bye to each other in the early days like does he want to kiss me or what? should I make a move? but patience paid off in the end.