ladybug2396 Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 (edited) I was with my boyfriend for 4 years, we started living together within the 1st year and I moved 2 hours south to live with him while he was in law school. We eventually moved back where we were from and lived together there for the last 3 years. We did not have the perfect relationship as we argued a lot but also loved each other to the extreme. Two months before we broke up, he moved his friend in who was such a bad influence, they would drink all night, gamble on football all hours of the night and occassionally go to strip clubs when we would fight. I believe this friend was a huge reason on why we broke up. Even though we were arguing I purchased almost floor seats to a NHL game, bought him a jersey and surprised to by taking him to the game for his birthday with our friends ... everything was fine but then he got drunk and started treating me really bad on the way home. 1 week later he asked me to move out, I was devostated as I really wanted us to prevail and work through all of this. My friend helped me move out and we did NC for a while, but then a all year we would text here and there. One time he heard a guy was interested and thought I was dating him (I wasn't) and he sent me a text in the middle of the night that said "I hope this guy loves you as much as I still do" ... it made me so happy but nothing came from it. We saw each other maybe 2-3 times since we broke up but nothing major. He texted me on new years eve "happy new year's gorgeous!" That same month it was almost the 1 year anniversary of us breaking up and I was out of state when I got this burst of courage to tell him that I still was heavily in love and wanted to try again, he responded with he didn't know what to say but he could not be with anyone ... I asked specifically "with me?" and he said "no, not just you, not with anyone but lets talk about this tomorrow, maybe we can meet up tomorrow night and talk" I was so excited but then realized I was out of state so obviously I couldn't. We chit chatted back and forth but eventually I had to tell him that it was too hard to have communication ... he said he understood. The NEXT day I recieved a text from him of something that he said reminded him of me and then he tried to chit chat a little then as well. I was feeling pretty good thinking maybe he just needed to hear me say that I stilled loved him and missed him. 1 week later I see on FB he is "in a relationship" with a girl he met on tinder (he's 28, gorgeous & not that I see anything wrong with online dating but he never did it before) ... From day 1 she instantly became obsessive, every day she would put up statuses about how in love they are & how she has "never felt like this before." But 1 month later they broke up for a few days. I thought "well that was short-lived" but then they must have worked it out because It has now been almost two months since they got together (not quite) and they have now moved in together, BUT not only did they move in together, they moved into the complex where we shared as our home for 2 years. He moved out 6 months ago and she moved two hours north so they could live together back there, he hated our apartment because he said it was "too expensive" and couldn't wait to move out but now he is back. 1 week after I tell him how I feel and him saying maybe we should meet up and talk, he's with her, 20 days after he said "happy new years gorgeous" and now almost two months later they are now moved in together. I don't know what is wrong with me where I cannot get over this person but I shared a life with him for 4 years and now he seems 10 times happier with someone he's only known not even 2 months, moved back into the same place we called home and I feel sad every day. I feel like we were never completely finished but now after being with this girl for 2 months they signed a lease together I feel like that just means we really are. I know the question can never be answered but will this last? Will he ever come back? Edited March 26, 2014 by ladybug2396 1
preraph Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Don't blame the friend for this. He made his own decisions, and what he decided to do was play the field. He sounds to me like he's cruelly dangling you in case he gets tired of playing or doesn't find someone he thinks is hotter. You shouldn't put up with it at all. You really need to cut all ties, ban him from everywhere, stop talking to him and move on. It is for your own good. Here's why. Even if after playing around, he comes back, he will always know you'll take back a carousing strip-bar going uncommitted cheater and he'll have no reason to stop being that person. Do not become his girlfriend with blinders on. It's no way to live. And bottom line, no matter what he says, he doesn't really care he's hurt you and continuing to do so or he wouldn't have done it! 1
EmptyinNV Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Get back to practicing NC, it's healthier for you. It took me a decent amount of time to move past the anger part of my divorce, but once I finally did I never looked back. You have to grieve the loss of your relationship, the goals and dreams you had. No contact is the best way to process your grief and work through things.
StGeorge22 Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Your situation sounds really similar to mine. Was on and off with my ex for a year, then I found out she was moving state for an old friend who she hooked up with once and was talking to the whole time. Basically kept me hanging while she made up her mind. It's only recent, but I feel like I now know it's over. There is no way I could ever trust her or take her back
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