ladybug2396 Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 (edited) I was with my boyfriend for 4 years, we started living together within the 1st year and I moved 2 hours south to live with him while he was in law school. We eventually moved back where we were from and lived together there for the last 3 years. We did not have the perfect relationship as we argued a lot but also loved each other to the extreme. Two months before we broke up, he moved his friend in who was such a bad influence, they would drink all night, gamble on football all hours of the night and occassionally go to strip clubs when we would fight. I believe this friend was a huge reason on why we broke up. Even though we were arguing I purchased almost floor seats to a NHL game, bought him a jersey and surprised to by taking him to the game for his birthday with our friends ... everything was fine but then he got drunk and started treating me really bad on the way home. 1 week later he asked me to move out, I was devostated as I really wanted us to prevail and work through all of this. My friend helped me move out and did NC for a while, but then a all year we would text here and there. One time he heard a guy was interested and thought I was dating him (I wasn't) and he sent me a text in the middle of the night that said "I hope this guy loves you as much as I still do" ... it made me so happy but nothing came from it. We saw each other maybe 2-3 times since we broke up but nothing major. He texted me on new years eve "happy new year's gorgeous!" That same month it was almost the 1 year anniversary of us breaking up and I was out of state when I got this burst of courage to tell him that I still was heavily in love and wanted to try again, he responded with he didn't know what to say but he could not be with anyone ... I asked specifically "with me?" and he said "no, not just you, not with anyone but lets talk about this tomorrow, maybe we can meet up tomorrow night and talk" I was so excited but then realized I was out of state so obviously I couldn't. We chit chatted back and forth but eventually I had to tell him that it was too hard to have communication ... he said he understood. The NEXT day I recieved a text from him of something that he said reminded him of me and then he tried to chit chat a little then as well. I was feeling pretty good thinking maybe he just needed to hear me say that I stilled loved him and missed him. 1 week later I see on FB he is "in a relationship" with a girl he met on tinder (he's 28, gorgeous & not that I see anything wrong with online dating but he never did it before) ... From day 1 she instantly became obsessive, every day she would put up statuses about how in love they are & how she has "never felt like this before." But 1 month later they broke up for a few days. I thought "well that was short-lived" but then they must have worked it out because It has now been almost two months since they got together (not quite) and they have now moved in together, BUT not only did they move in together, they moved into the complex where we shared as our home for 2 years. He moved out 6 months ago and she moved two hours north so they could live together back there, he hated our apartment because he said it was "too expensive" and couldn't wait to move out but now he is back. 1 week after I tell him how I feel and him saying maybe we should meet up and talk, he's with her, 20 days after he said "happy new years gorgeous" and now almost two months later they are now moved in together. I don't know what is wrong with me where I cannot get over this person but I shared a life with him for 4 years and now he seems 10 times happier with someone he's only known not even 2 months, moved back into the same place we called home and I feel sad every day. I feel like we were never completely finished but now after being with this girl for 2 months they signed a lease together I feel like that just means we really are. I know the question can never be answered but will this last? Will he ever come back? Edited March 26, 2014 by ladybug2396
Pastel Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 He moved in with her after two months... whaaaat? I don't even know what to say. Most people wait 6 months to a year before moving in together. I think he's rushing into this. Regardless forget about him. He lied to you about not wanting a relationship with anyone and now he's stringing you along. Sounds like a major jerk.
Strength in Healing Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 You can't move on because you are still following his life. You gotta cut that **** out, seriously. You will NEVER move on. And will he come back? Very unlikely. But it would be pathetic if you were willing to TAKE him back after this. Wake up 1
4everalones Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 You haven't moved on because you kept in touch with him, which kept the hope of getting back together alive. And I'll be honest here, so please don't be mad: You kept in touch with him for A YEAR, after he DUMPED you and treated you so horribly!! come on girl. That guy lost a lot of respect for you, and he's a major douchbag. I recommend reading a book called "why men love bit*ches". Unlike the title suggest, you don't have to be a bi*ch, you just have to be independent and not let yourself be a doormate. It's time for you to move on, and the only way to do so is to cut him and his gf out of your life. They're none of your business now. I know it's hard (I am struggling with cyber stalking my ex). Block them, remove any traces of his and her existence, and work on improving yourself. Achieve your goals, read self-help books (I can provide a good list if you're interested), focus on your career, workout, go out, date new people. Please do NOT wait for that guy, he's a major douche, you deserve much much better. Once your self-respect and self-esteem are healed, you'll b able to see him for what he really is.
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