Can't move on: it's been months after the end of a short term relationship!

[Virgin26]

I was with my ex for about 4 months. It was a very intense short-term relationship. I saw him almost every day and spent all my free time with him. I fell head over heals for this guy, and was so much in love with him. I was in many serious relationships before (one for 5 years and another one for 2.5 years), but I truly thought he was the one. Everything was just perfect!

 

We had a few fights towards the end of the relationship because he was so stressed over work, but nothing major. One day, he came up to me and told me that he cannot focus on a relationship right now and need to sort out his life. He said he can't have any kind of romantic relationship unless his work and financial situation is okay. I was devastated. I was crying, but I never begged him to stay or anything. He was crying too. We hugged and he left!!

 

It's been 3.5 months since he broke up with me and I just can't move on. I still think of him constantly. He's the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of before going to sleep. I have been doing No Contact for 2 months now (It was very low contact before I started NC). I am trying to keep myself busy, and trying to focus on myself and work. I even dated other guys, but I keep thinking (and even talking) about my ex during the dates!! Nothing helped so far. I am miserable and cry everyday.

 

People say that it takes half the period you were with the person to truly get over them. It's been almost 4 months after the breakup (which is how long we've been together) and I still can't I move on. What's wrong with me? I don't know what to do. I feel like I will never be able to forget this guy and get over him. I feel like I will be this miserable and alone for the rest of my life I want to be my happy self again. I want the pain and crazy thoughts to stop. PLEASE HELP.

Edited March 26, 2014 by Virgin26

[erklat]

The same story as mine, though our breakup was much nastier because of my abusive behavior.

 

I'm more than twice the length of relationship out and still can't get my thoughts straight, though I don't allow my life to stagnate too much.

 

Check the last post in my thread. It helps me when I read it.

 

Decide and be the best person possible for yourself.

 

Out of curiosity, how long you've been alone before meeting him?

 

I was twice in a three year ltr. I really don't know what's happening because I'm not that much of a relationship jarhead.

 

Possibly remorse because it was ill time before anything else?

[Damaged217]

Unfortunately, it just takes time. I think you're not getting over him because you feel there is still a chance with him. You have to stop thinking that way. Things are over and you have to just accept that, as much as it sucks. I think you screwed yourself by spending so much time with him during your relationship. Happiness comes from within. It took me years to learn how to be content with myself so that I wasn't afraid of being single and alone. You cannot be dependent on another person for your happiness. When you are, what you're going through right now...THAT'S what happens. I think every woman needs to have her own life and have plenty of hobbies and activities and friends to keep her busy. When you spend almost every day with your significant other, one tends to become needy and feel like they NEED that person in your life. So when you learn to be happy on your own, you won't feel that need to always be with your significant other. You can go out with your friends and be just as happy as you are when you spend time with your SO. This is what makes for happy, healthy, long-term relationships.

 

Hang in there, girl. Just keep busy. Go out with your friends. You will survive this, believe me. Everyone has gone through heartache. I cried myself to sleep every night for a YEAR when I broke up with my ex of 4 years. But I'm still here...stronger than ever. And happier than I've ever been :-)