OhThatGirl Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 So, you want to keep him around as stable comfort and a fall back plan while you see and sleep with other people. And you don't see why this is a problem? Let me put things in perspective. You don't want to be with him. It must be because you're young and inexperienced that you think if you could live together everything would be ok. It won't be. He's still going to be needy. You two are still going to run out of things to talk about. You two are still going to be jealous. He's never going to get over the fact you slept around (and yet not with him) because... This isn't a real love relationship. It's likely somewhat real on his end. But on your end it's immaturity, safety, security, and comfort. You DONT get to keep him as a friend while you go play around, be young, and make mistakes. Because HOPEFULLY while you are doing that you're growing, and eventually you will grow in such a way that your ex isn't even your ideal guy. Hell, he's not your ideal guy NOW. Need I mention that part again where you run out of things to talk about? If you don't want to be with him, let him be. You don't get to keep unconditional love while you screw around and be young. That's not how this works. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 All I read is me, I, me, I. Selfish, selfish, selfish. Bless you for this you took words out of my own mouth. Look people no offense but should we not make this forum on be 21 and up then join in ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 But I do want him back I just don't want him back in a long-distance relationship. Everything would go straight back to the way it was when we were bf/gf. We would want to talk all the time but have nothing to talk about, get annoyed when the other one goes out partying instead of spending time with each other, and things would fall apart again. I used to get jealous about his female friends and vice versa. We talked about living together before I started seeing someone new, and if that was possible there would be nothing stopping me from getting on a plane and being there. But that's just not possible right now, and won't be for at least another year, by which point he'll be seeing someone else and gone forever. When I was mad when he was judging me a week or so ago, I told him that we would only ever be friends which is why he went silent on me and wouldn't respond to anything. I want him and could see myself spending my life with him. But not at this moment, and not whilst he's so needy. I just need a little more freedom before I commit, so what I want is to be his friend until we could be together and then take it from there. I know I can't keep playing the "I'm 18 and I don't know any better" card, but I don't want to lose him forever because I know it would haunt me for the rest of my life. All I want to say is WOW........but I can't help myself so here it goes. You already lost him and your afraid that he will find someone new??? How do you think he feels ???? You already have someone , gees that's selfish. Leave him alone because he needs to heal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 And we wonder why some guys from young age become abusers drinkers woman haters cheaters and so on ? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 Is he trying to get a response from me? What does it mean? And most importantly, should I respond? Did you ask him these questions? He's the one with the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 Did you ask him these questions? He's the one with the answer. She shouldn't ask this unless she wants to get back with him right now. Otherwise she needs to leave him alone. Link to post Share on other sites
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