I'm thinking about shutting down my OKC profile.

[Sith Apprentice]

[quote=TheBladeRunner;5611575 I put my membership on hold and I don't intend to renew as it is so expensive ($2700.00) and like I said, the results were not that great.

 

 

It's Just Lunch? For that much money you could have gone on a few "It's Just Sex" dates instead.

[warrenorabbits]

POF was good for me, and I managed to get lots of ACTION from it....however, I found a lot of flaky women on there

 

OKCupid.....similar to the above but I have learned to just take the opportunity when it presents itself.

 

OP...Could it be the way you are approaching these people that isn't working? My profile is similar to what you describe and I get lots of compliments and action

 

I don't think so. I ask questions about what I've seen in her profile. Definitely not a "sup, your sexy" kind o' guy.

[smackie9]

I don't think so. I ask questions about what I've seen in her profile. Definitely not a "sup, your sexy" kind o' guy.

 

 

And how is this working for you so far??

Edited March 30, 2014 by smackie9

[drew232]

I've found that being 'normal' and mature really doesn't get you anywhere online. You have to be funny, you have to not care if the girl is going to message you back, and you have to be willing to get a little weird.

 

Still most people won't message you back. But I've had way more replies when I act raunchy, playful, and a little weird (they key to this is keeping it funny)

 

One of my favorite lines; "Elephant in the room but when do I send the dick pic? like now or after we meet...how does that work?"

 

Again you're not going to have much success with this but you should have more luck than writing these kind of statements "Hey! I see you play soccer. that's awesome. So what position do you play?"..dull dull dull.

 

A few years back I had never been in a relationship before and I found my first girlfriend with dick pic jokes haha. I used to be the most conservative texter. Now I just don't care.

 

*Warning* NEVER EVER actually send a dick pic..you'll lose all credibility haha.

 

also I should add..try to make sure you aren't making eye contact with the camera in your pictures. Also avoid smiling too much.

Edited March 30, 2014 by drew232

[hurts_so_bad]

Tip 1.. ok cupid s@cks dude! dont bother! Im still on it and rarely get any messages...Try other sites as well..There is POF but there are alot of flakes on there..The best sites are paid sites that encourage women that can atleast pay for their membership. Women who are more serious..The non paid sites have a lot of women just trying to boost their egos seeing how many guys they can get to message them or flakes that never follow threw..

 

The paid sites women are a bit more serious because they are paying for the service..People who are paying for a service normally arent going to be women who just want to get their rocks off when they can do it for free on a free site..

 

Tip 2 DO NOT put a long profile up! Put something short a sweet about yourself and what your looking for.. Maybe 5 -10 lines at best...and thats it! The first thing people look at is your picture and if they are attracted they will open your profile..Bottom line! Contrary to popular belief, You cannot make someone like you with your words! There has to be a physical attraction or your profile wont even be viewed..However, If there is an attraction and your profile is to long, you can look to needy and open which scares women away as well..

 

Its better to be mysterious then tell your entire life story! Keep it short and sweet! It looks more manly then a guy sounding like a women telling how he likes long walks on the beach and sobby crap like that..Believe it or not women do not like that sh@t coming from a man..They want a man not a female companion...Think james bond! What would he say if he ever had to resort to a dating site? Not to much I would guess! Short and sweet

 

Tip 3..Dont take it to serious! Im a good looking dude with a hell of a build and personality and I was in your shoes with no responses yadda yadda.. Dont let it get to you or push you to the point of deleting your profile..It never pays to cut your nose off to spite your face..Just because your frustrated and want to date dont let this crap get to you..I did to me but I am way past that! Take it day by day and stop caring so much! Even the best seducers in the world get rejected 9 of 10 times!

 

Its a numbers game! So open up as many date sites as you can with good pics and a short sweet profile and let them come to you..I very rarely even message women anymore..I click the site, If there is a message I read it. If not I close out.. Dont let it get to you dude! I know its frustrating but you will get past it..

 

One last tip...If you are going to message women...Never never message women on the weekend! Its always more attractive to a women to believe the guy she is dealing with is busy and dating..Even if your sitting home watching a movie on a Saturday night (which I did last night) they dont need to know your home alone..Never message them on weekends!

[warrenorabbits]

I've found that being 'normal' and mature really doesn't get you anywhere online. You have to be funny, you have to not care if the girl is going to message you back, and you have to be willing to get a little weird.

 

Still most people won't message you back. But I've had way more replies when I act raunchy, playful, and a little weird (they key to this is keeping it funny)

 

One of my favorite lines; "Elephant in the room but when do I send the dick pic? like now or after we meet...how does that work?"

 

Again you're not going to have much success with this but you should have more luck than writing these kind of statements "Hey! I see you play soccer. that's awesome. So what position do you play?"..dull dull dull.

 

You may very well be on to something. My messages tend to be of this "dull" variety. No offence taken; they are conservative and very, very dull in retrospect. On the other hand there are some psychos on those sites that aren't afraid to make your PMs public if they are the least bit "unsafe.". How do I know? One of my Facebook acquaintances (deliberately avoiding the word "friend") does it on a regular basis.

[MixedUpChick]

You may very well be on to something. My messages tend to be of this "dull" variety. No offence taken; they are conservative and very, very dull in retrospect. On the other hand there are some psychos on those sites that aren't afraid to make your PMs public if they are the least bit "unsafe.". How do I know? One of my Facebook acquaintances (deliberately avoiding the word "friend") does it on a regular basis.

 

It's really going to depend on the individual women & what they prefer. I get some funny/edgy messages & most are a complete turnoff, I'll take conservative any day as long as the guy's profile is interesting & he doesn't look like Nick Nolte's mugshot.

 

That being said, it's definitely worthwhile for you to mix it up a little & try various styles of messaging & see what works best for you.

[hurts_so_bad]

You may very well be on to something. My messages tend to be of this "dull" variety. No offence taken; they are conservative and very, very dull in retrospect. On the other hand there are some psychos on those sites that aren't afraid to make your PMs public if they are the least bit "unsafe.". How do I know? One of my Facebook acquaintances (deliberately avoiding the word "friend") does it on a regular basis.

 

 

Guys Dull dont mean crap! Its all in the pics.... What can you really say? How funny can you be with your first interaction online without being face to face or atleast knowing the person a slight bit? Everyone wants to think it boils down to having a creative profile..It doesnt..Its all about physical attraction ESPECIALLY on these sites! Ive done experiments on the sites with fake profiles..Took a pic of a good looking guy and one of a not so good looking guy..Used the same profile words..

 

Mr. good looking had 10 replys by the end of the day..Mr. not so good looking 00!

 

Lets not fool ourselves or anyone else..Its all in the pics..Get good pics and hope your attractive enough..If not, Your not going to do well on these sites no matter what you say! If your not attracted to heavy women and you meet one with a great personality your still not going to be physically attracted to her no matter how cool she is!

 

Call me shallow if you want but I think to many people do not want to admitt that physical attraction comes first out of fear of sounding shallow...I tell it like it is...If you do not have great pics you are better off finding someone the old fashioned way where atleast they may find you attractive in a different way which cant be done online

Edited March 30, 2014 by hurts_so_bad

[drew232]

Guys Dull dont mean crap! Its all in the pics....

 

I agree that the writing on your profile is of very little importance.

 

Still, I think not being dull when you message her is pretty important. If she thinks you're hot, depending on where you live, I can guarantee she thinks 5-15 other guys are just as attractive. writing good/original messages can help your odds.

 

"Hey, how's going? I miss soccer! Used to play in HS..do you still play?"

 

vs.

 

"hey what's your number so I can send you a dick pic? chicks love dick pics....or at least that's what my grandpa tells me"

 

 

Okay I'll admit option 1 might get more responses but the conversation is going to die fast. If a girl has your sense of humor and is ready for an exciting conversation you're ultimately going to have more long-term luck with option 2.

 

Don't worry about embarrassing yourself! A month later 99% of these girls are going to forget you even sent them a message..you could try again in a month or two with a different profile pic and she won't even notice and who knows, if she's in a playful mood that day maybe she'll talk.

 

Ohh and if she messages back and sounds angry or insulted don't be intimidated.. just play with her..never apologize. My first girlfriend actually wrote back something like "um, I'm not that easy go f yourself" and I responded with "how many cats do you have?"..never be intimidated. If they write back just assume they want to talk to you.

 

I'm not saying everything has to be dick jokes but I think you should definitely give the raunchy/funny/dumb/playful combo a shot.

Edited March 30, 2014 by drew232

[preraph]

Seems like back in the early OLD days, it worked better for people. But here's what happened. First, online ho's jumped on to tantalize men with their photos but aren't dating so much as working. Then over the years, people started editing their profiles and photos to make themselves look/sound better. So basically, you can't trust what anyone says anymore or even what their photo looks like because it could be some old perv using a photo of a young model just trying to get someone long enough for a good wank.

 

Can't say I even blame women for barely responding since so much of it (with both sexes) is strictly cooked up according to the OLD recipe now.

 

You may very well simply sound too good to be true, my friend.

[Tayken]

I agree that the writing on your profile is of very little importance.

 

Still, I think not being dull when you message her is pretty important. If she thinks you're hot, depending on where you live, I can guarantee she thinks 5-15 other guys are just as attractive. writing good/original messages can help your odds.

 

"Hey, how's going? I miss soccer! Used to play in HS..do you still play?"

 

vs.

 

"hey what's your number so I can send you a dick pic? chicks love dick pics....or at least that's what my grandpa tells me"

 

 

Okay I'll admit option 1 might get more responses but the conversation is going to die fast. If a girl has your sense of humor and is ready for an exciting conversation you're ultimately going to have more long-term luck with option 2.

 

Don't worry about embarrassing yourself! A month later 99% of these girls are going to forget you even sent them a message..you could try again in a month or two with a different profile pic and she won't even notice and who knows, if she's in a playful mood that day maybe she'll talk.

 

Ohh and if she messages back and sounds angry or insulted don't be intimidated.. just play with her..never apologize. My first girlfriend actually wrote back something like "um, I'm not that easy go f yourself" and I responded with "how many cats do you have?"..never be intimidated. If they write back just assume they want to talk to you.

 

I'm not saying everything has to be dick jokes but I think you should definitely give the raunchy/funny/dumb/playful combo a shot.

 

I have never had to send a dick pic, and find it demeaning actually...why let her see it before she gets to handle it?

 

It's a shame that most guy on dating sites can't hold a convo past the sex stuff....yes she might be cute and have a bangable body, why make it obvious that is what you took away from her profile?

 

I am talking to two right now, and there is no mention of their physique in my posts....they've both responded saying...."my message is refreshing and they like my profile, and hope we can carry on this conversation". BAM...I am one foot in, 50% chance of getting some from either of those for sure

[drew232]

It's a shame that most guy on dating sites can't hold a convo past the sex stuff....

 

Tried..doesn't really work.

 

Maybe it's age but it seems most woman my age (low 20's) are not interested in having any low key conversations.

 

As long as you keep it funny you're good. Before I met my current gf I was on OKC for 4 months or so and I collected 5 phone numbers...only one of those numbers came from a convo where i didn't act like a goofball

[Tayken]

It must be an age thing....but there are a lot of women on there in their 30s and 40s that are horrible at having a convo.....they rely on their slutty pics to get a guy, and I make it my duty to lambast them when I get the chance actually. Your slutty pics backed by no substance is crass

 

My profile alludes to the fact that am not there to send posts up and down...I'll like to meet soonest and see if we can take the show somewhere else

 

I always usually end up with numbers and pics on my phone, and once I sense them playing the "holding out" game, I tell them to lose my number and I don't text them again.

 

It's amazing how many grown women have no problem sexting.....does nothing for me at all, as I never send pics of me via phone.

 

Tried..doesn't really work.

 

Maybe it's age but it seems most woman my age (low 20's) are not interested in having any low key conversations.

 

As long as you keep it funny you're good. Before I met my current gf I was on OKC for 4 months or so and I collected 5 phone numbers...only one of those numbers came from a convo where i didn't act like a goofball

[hasaquestion]

Tried..doesn't really work.

 

Maybe it's age but it seems most woman my age (low 20's) are not interested in having any low key conversations.

 

As long as you keep it funny you're good. Before I met my current gf I was on OKC for 4 months or so and I collected 5 phone numbers...only one of those numbers came from a convo where i didn't act like a goofball

 

Well here's the thing.

 

When you "act like a goofball" you turn off, say, 90% of the people. But the 10% that aren't offended? They will specifically like it.

 

Whereas if you go for a "conservative approach" then you're just equally boring to all 100%.

[drew232]

It must be an age thing....but there are a lot of women on there in their 30s and 40s that are horrible at having a convo.....they rely on their slutty pics to get a guy, and I make it my duty to lambast them when I get the chance actually. Your slutty pics backed by no substance is crass

 

My profile alludes to the fact that am not there to send posts up and down...I'll like to meet soonest and see if we can take the show somewhere else

 

I always usually end up with numbers and pics on my phone, and once I sense them playing the "holding out" game, I tell them to lose my number and I don't text them again.

 

It's amazing how many grown women have no problem sexting.....does nothing for me at all, as I never send pics of me via phone.

 

I think most woman at any age are horrible at conversations..they give one or two word answers and expect you to do all the work. I drop these girls fairly quickly.

 

I feel like you're under the impression that I sext? I've never sent a dick pic ever..I only joke about sending them sometimes because I know how dumb they are haha

[Tayken]

I think most woman at any age are horrible at conversations..they give one or two word answers and expect you to do all the work. I drop these girls fairly quickly.

 

I feel like you're under the impression that I sext? I've never sent a dick pic ever..I only joke about sending them sometimes because I know how dumb they are haha

 

 

Not at all mate.....and the women that have sext me their pics, although I haven't told any of them, I have no respect whatsoever for any of them, but more than happy to go with the flow of FWBs

 

I sure as h3ll do not send them such pics

[NYC-BigKat]

Depressing, right? Make a profile of an average girl and your inbox will be filled to the max (300 messages) in a few months tops.

 

I keep my profile sitting there in case anyone wants to drop by for a smile or laugh, but I do not message anymore...haven't for a long time. As you say, just too damn depressing.

 

Most girls want the hard to get badboy & that's the truth. Only a very very small percentage of girls like a nice decent man. A very very tiny percentage of them & there's nothing us good guys can do about it u know. I accept it as something that cant be changed just like a very tiny percentage of men will take an unpretty girl. It works on both sides I guess .

[Shaun-Dro]

Most girls want the hard to get badboy & that's the truth. Only a very very small percentage of girls like a nice decent man. A very very tiny percentage of them & there's nothing us good guys can do about it u know. I accept it as something that cant be changed just like a very tiny percentage of men will take an unpretty girl. It works on both sides I guess .

 

 

The bottom line is that women need to be challenged emotionally. It seems that mostly the bad boys and the rebels can pull this stunt off frequently so these men are rewarded. That's a fact.

 

 

The average man doesn't have the ability to do this. In other words, most women get off on conflict. They get off on the push and pull. This goes for all ages of women, not just young girls. It only varies in context when the women get a little older. But it all boils down to the same thing.

 

 

Ever since I learned this about them, my success rate in landing women has improved. The harder part is keeping them around which is something I should work on but I don't have the inclination at this time.

[drew232]

Most girls want the hard to get badboy & that's the truth. Only a very very small percentage of girls like a nice decent man. A very very tiny percentage of them & there's nothing us good guys can do about it u know. I accept it as something that cant be changed just like a very tiny percentage of men will take an unpretty girl. It works on both sides I guess .

 

You don't have to be bad..just be interesting. Even if it means getting a little weird at times. Don't be afraid to say crazy sht. Even more importantly don't be afraid to tease them

 

It really has nothing to do with being bad. Just don't be the "Hey, how's it going?" guy.

[Tayken]

Most girls want the hard to get badboy & that's the truth. Only a very very small percentage of girls like a nice decent man. A very very tiny percentage of them & there's nothing us good guys can do about it u know. I accept it as something that cant be changed just like a very tiny percentage of men will take an unpretty girl. It works on both sides I guess .

 

Unfortunately it's true and most of them will beg to differ. I got a random text from one that woman who last time we met, she was on top of me.....and I haven't really chased her since then...she asked if I wanted a hot chocolate cos she is coming to a store near me.

 

Now you know the hot chocolate was just an excuse...I wasn't up for it and rescheduled to next week. She accepted

[drew232]

Unfortunately it's true and most of them will beg to differ.

 

hahaha I used to contemplate putting a shirtless pic up on OKC..even though most women 'would beg to differ'

 

What people say ≠ what people do

Edited March 30, 2014 by drew232

[Yur]

hahaha I'm still contemplating putting a shirtless pic up on OKC..even though most women 'would beg to differ'

 

What people say ≠ what people do

 

See this regarding 'shirtlessness'

 

Of course, there is some self-selection here: the guys showing off their abs are the ones with abs worth showing, and naturally the best bodies get lots of messages. So we can’t recommend this photo tactic to every man. But, contrary to everything you read about profile pictures, if you’re a guy with a nice body, it’s actually better to take off your shirt than to leave it on. We would never suggest to a Fitzgerald or a Dave Eggers to limit his profile to 100 words, and so why should guys with great bodies keep their best asset under wraps?

 

It's interesting, but confusulating stuff.

[TheyCallMeOx]

Something really important you need to understand about dating, in general, is that you're not looking to get as much opportunity to date as possible. If you're monogamous and looking for a life partner, you're only looking for one woman that matters. Although having a full inbox would be nice, it's actually counter-productive because I would have to sift through the available opportunity, potentially spend lots of money on dates, and even then...I may not even come close to finding a good match. Instead, what you really want are a few messages at a time. That way, you can keep track of conversations, devote time to them, and be able spot the fine details of who they are. Ultimately, you have to have patience. You may find yourself without receiving messages every once in a while, and that's fine...because what you're ultimate goal is to let the women come to you. How do you do that? Get the ones who like you to like your profile. Then once they like your profile, you're almost guaranteed to get a response when you message them. Why else would they like your profile? It's like liking a book without even reading it -- doesn't make logical sense. Better yet...it's like a woman reading all the Harry Potter novels, but not wanting an autograph of J.K. Rowling.

 

Well, how do you get a woman to like your profile? That's the REAL question, isn't it? How the hell do you get a woman to express interest in you? Well, there's two important factors that you have to consider: your profile pictures, and your profile.

 

I've got some potential bad news, though. If you live in an area where not much people sign up for OKC on a daily basis, then as your profile picture and profile get older, so do the other members. Once a woman checks your profile out and it doesn't interest her, she's probably less likely to visit it again. Once she sees your profile picture, checks your profile out, she may hide your profile from the search. As a result, over time...you may decrease the amount of visitors per week because they've already been to your site once. After a while, less veteran dating profiles will view your profile, and you'll find your profile being visited by mostly new members, but on very rare occasions. This is something that I've noticed, and here's what I did:

 

I disabled/deleted my profile. I went two months without dating. Fortunately, I was going through a tough break up, so going two months without dating helped a lot. When I knew I was ready to get back into dating, this is what I did: I created a profile, got the pictures that were NOT taken by me (or my webcam), and put them as my profile pictures. Then, I posted an awesome self-summary. My self-summary is over 1,500 words...but the important thing is that it encompasses who I am. If it's interesting, women will read anything. If it's hilarious, they'll eat it up. Once you establish yourself as a new member two months down the road, you've set your best profile pictures, you've got a great profile, and you answer a lot of questions (with explanations), you'll have access to new members, and some of the veteran members will forget they once visited your profile.

 

You want a woman to look at your profile, and be interested in it the FIRST TIME. So you wanna make sure that when a woman does read it, it's already great. After it's great, you can start tweaking it. Eventually, you should land women who like your profile, and from there...you can message those women, and more likely to get a response. You might land a few dates. They might go great, and they might go bad. But the beautiful thing about dating is that it can help build your confidence. If you're actively dating, women in general might find that more attractive, which increases your likelyhood of finding a woman in real life. It sets off a chain of events that may, eventually, lead you to that one woman who is willing to spend the rest of her life with you.

[hurts_so_bad]

Best course of action is getting to know someone face to face otherwise the writting gets dull and you end up with chicks that just want to be friends or pen pals...If your looking to actually get dates with someone the best course of action is straight forward and cutting to the chase and cutting out all the BS writting..

 

If a girl messages me and I like her I will message just saying that I like her profile and pics as well and I'd like to get to know her better...I will then give her my cell number so I can hear her voice..If thats to straight forward then on to the next..It cuts out all the BS messaging that many times goes nowhere and the girls who will just waste your time..If you want to meet someone its put up or shut up..

 

There is no way that messaging back and forth can compare to talking on the phone! She says something funny or dumb and you laugh, or make her laugh and the conversation goes on from there..The messaging is not the right way to interact after you spoke a few times you got to be forward and go for what you want..Get the number after a few messages is the way I like to go..

 

With all that said its still rough! These dating sites are rough and I personally think it has ruined the dating world! I describe them as a supermarket! There is always a better deal on isle two! Thats exactly how people are thinking these days too! Always looking for the bigger better deal and thats exactly why you see so many beautiful women on these sites for so long..

 

Many of them are looking for the ultimate male! lol...Good looks, money, personality, knows karate, owns a mansion, need I go on? Thats exactly why many of them will continue to be on the sites lonely as well..

Edited March 30, 2014 by hurts_so_bad

[HappyLove]

"With all that said its still rough! These dating sites are rough and I personally think it has ruined the dating world! I describe them as a supermarket! There is always a better deal on isle two! Thats exactly how people are thinking these days too! Always looking for the bigger better deal and thats exactly why you see so many beautiful women on these sites for so long..

 

Many of them are looking for the ultimate male! lol...Good looks, money, personality, knows karate, owns a mansion, need I go on? Thats exactly why many of them will continue to be on the sites lonely as well.."

 

 

Very true! Dating these days is a MESS! If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me why I was single and what am I waiting for...I'd never have to work again. But NO, women aren't looking for that perfect guy. Hell I'm just looking for a good guy. I've dated not so cute guys, awkward guys, poor guys basically guys the total opposite of perfect because all I wanted was a good guy. But even these guys were so obsessed with the grass is greener mentality that they eventually went poof. Dating online you try to start a relationship but he's still on trying to get someone "better" you wonder how anyone got a relationship started online. So don't just blame women its society in general and OLDing has made things worse it's great if that's your only way of getting a date, at least you have a chance, but there's so many pitfalls to it.