beelibra Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Hey guys! Confused here...so my boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about a year now. I'm in California and he's in Arizona, and we have a very strong deeply connected relationship. We love each other very much and we both know this is the first real relationship, first real love, even over our children's parents. He has a two and a half year old son and I have a 3 year old daughter. He takes care of us and supports me very well, and pretty much is the perfect man, and we are the perfect team. We do have our issues especially with the distance, but we come out strong and have so much belief and faith in us. We agreed that we would give it a year and that my daughter and I would move to Arizona with him. Our anniversary is coming up and we've talked a little about it but not planned. He's told me he thinks that it's scary, it's a big step and a lot of responsibility he's taking in and he is worried but that he does want it and knows we need to do it sooner or la. He's always been a go with the flow and wing it type of person so I don't want to be dramatic and feel like he doesn't really want it just because I feel a lack of communicating about it.. we have talked a little bit about planning things for me, & I think on my part I really want to get planning since I'm the one doing such a huge change picking up and moving us. & I think he wants to just go with the flow a little longer until we get a little closer to it and then we start planning. I just feel a little torn and confused, should I tell him I feel like the lack of communicating about it makes me feel like maybe we're not on the same page and he doesn't want this as much as I do? Or should I let it be? I haven't been able to get it out of my mind and I've been up here for a few weeks now which I usually frequently do. But I don't want it eating at the back of my mind. I feel a hundred percent about moving out here with him, and like it's the best thing for us and putting my daughter, whether its scary or not. What do you guys think? I greatly appreciate your advice thank you so much!
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Based on your other threads not only shouldn't you move in with him, you should break up with him. Yours is one of the most dysfunctional unhealthy dynamics I have ever seen on LS. If you won't break up at least don't go from living in different states to living together. You are sending a horrible message to your kids. Plus when this doesn't work, you will be stuck if you don't have your own place. The fact that he won't talk about it shows that you two are no where near ready for this level of commitment. It's just pie in the sky to him. My advice: Stay in California. 1
slizl Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 That might hurt his realtionship with his local girlfriend...
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