aiyoyo Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Dear LS, been in a huge dilemma for the past month or so. I recently broke up with my BF of 2 and a half years. Mainly because i felt we were falling apart as he had other priorities (work and whatsnot). He would be all tired everyday after work and hardly had time for me. I went through a very stressful period last year and he wasn't there for me. I tried very much to reach out to him, and tell him about my feelings but he didn't listen to me most of time. Didn't want to go out for walks with me claiming that he was tired. I than proceed on to an online chat forum where i met this guy. I start confiding in him, telling him about my stress (university studies and the fact that i couldn't talk to my current BF). It was not soon after that i found out i was falling in love with him. I got extremely stressed as i thought i was mentally cheating on my current boyfriend and that guilt has been living in my heart since then.. He lived miles away from me (8 hours plane flight.) There was once when i got into a serious mishap at home where my cooker exploded and i was the only one at home. My BF wasn't able to come over. Whereas the guy i met online immediately booked a ticket to come over and help me out. I then later told him not to come. After the BU with my BF, I am getting more and more confused as i felt that i love both of them. I had many memories with my ex. I know he loves me dearly, and did many things for me. He has promised to turn over a new leaf. He proposed NC, but i broke it after 2 days as I was worried that he may have done something to hurt himself. Right now, I'm in contact with both guys. I have no idea what i should do as i feel that i have feelings for both of them. The rough synopsis is that I'm really confused on who do i pick. My ex did many things for me, showered love and care on me. But towards the end of our relationship, he sort of stop showing me that much care whereas the new guy showed that he actually cared for me. My ex told me that he would wait for me no matter how long it took. Help!
TheKook Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Neither of them. If it's a question of which guy you have to choose and the answer isn't obvious, neither are truly the right choice. 1
topaMAXX Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 What do you have to offer them (besides your problems and cheating)? 1
Hoaks Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 If you guys had 2 years together, talk to each other and give it a second chance. The new guy might be exciting to you, offering something you have not had for awhile but, it's a big risk to leave someone you love for that new "honeymoon" phase feeling.
sooshi Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Neither. Also, I really cannot imagine that someone would fly eight hours to help out with a cooker that has exploded. Especially when it's someone you've never met. Is this for real? I'd be truly surprised that this person ACTUALLY got a ticket for this. How well do you even know this person? Like topaMAXX, I also wonder what you have to offer them (or any potential partner). It really sounds like you need to be on your own right now. To learn to love yourself. You seem to be expecting others to love and fulfill you, but it sounds like you're neglecting yourself while keeping on the lookout for someone to care for and love you.
scorpio1978 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 You cannot be in love with someone you have not even met. Sorry, but that's not realistic. You can love qualities about them that you are looking for, but I think you are just lonely and falling for the idea of someone there who is like your ex, but who gives you more attention. This guy could be someone completely different than what you expected. So, I agree. Neither one is the right choice for now.
Strength in Healing Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 (edited) What do you have to offer them (besides your problems and cheating)? Lmao nailed it... Alas, you sound unstable and fickle. I tell you this not to hurt you but to give you a chance to open your eyes. You fell in love with an online guy who is an 8 hour plane flight away? That is just nutty, no joke. For many reasons... I mean, if you ever are in trouble, he is only an 8 hour flight away! He is your knight in shining armor who only lives thousands of miles away. Hope you don't get into any trouble that requires someone help you faster than 8 hours plus the drive to and from the airport lol He must be a real good guy to need to find a woman who lives that far away. Dude is probably a serial killer. My advice, stay single and go to a psychologist. Edited March 25, 2014 by Strength in Healing
Author aiyoyo Posted March 25, 2014 Author Posted March 25, 2014 thanks for the inputs guys! One thing i didn't mention was that i tried very much to tell my ex of our problems but he always brushed me off.. saying that i was trying to pick a fight. This kinda of made me a little phobic of confiding into him. i'm afraid of getting back to my ex because i'm afraid that he would make the same mistakes and hurt me again.. I know some of you lovelies told me to pick neither of them.. but, i truly love both of them.. (i feel)
Author aiyoyo Posted March 25, 2014 Author Posted March 25, 2014 Lmao nailed it... Alas, you sound unstable and fickle. I tell you this not to hurt you but to give you a chance to open your eyes. You fell in love with an online guy who is an 8 hour plane flight away? That is just nutty, no joke. For many reasons... I mean, if you ever are in trouble, he is only an 8 hour flight away! He is your knight in shining armor who only lives thousands of miles away. Hope you don't get into any trouble that requires someone help you faster than 8 hours plus the drive to and from the airport lol He must be a real good guy to need to find a woman who lives that far away. Dude is probably a serial killer. My advice, stay single and go to a psychologist. I cant really describe it as love.. but probably feelings for him? I have heard of people having LDR and managed pulling it off.. Yea.. i'm really confused and stress right now.. ):
Author aiyoyo Posted March 25, 2014 Author Posted March 25, 2014 What do you have to offer them (besides your problems and cheating)? Neither of them. If it's a question of which guy you have to choose and the answer isn't obvious, neither are truly the right choice. Thats the problem with me.. I guess.. thats why i'm so torn ed up right now.. What i had to offer them? I probably fulfill the basic requirements of being a good gf (i believe) other than that.. i have no idea my self...
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