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Hmm..should I be wary?


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Posted

I started dating a new guy about a month ago after going through a REALLY rough break up. New guy is wonderful and he seems to want all the same things I do..he wants children pretty soon, as do I. Should I be worried that he's talking about kids one month in, even though it's what I want?

 

I should mention this as well..he's 29 and I am 32.

 

Should I be happy or nervous???

Posted

It's not too soon to talk about his desire to have children, he has to make sure before investing time in your relationship that you both want children.

 

Now if he says he wants children with you soon.....yes you should be worried.

Posted

After a tough break up you can be in a vulnerable position so talking of the future and babies only a month into a new relationship would be ringing alarm bells for me.

I would be watching out for any other behaviours in case it was all seeming too good to be true.

 

I dated a man for a few months who was talking of moving in together after only a month or so, he swept me off my feet in the beginning.

Once he began talking about moving in then other things began to surface also.

He turned out to be controlling and emotionally abusive.

 

Just hold back a little but keep an eye out for signs of possessiveness or jealousy. These two signs can feel flattering in the beginning but they can develop into something which is smothering.

 

It could be that he is just very happy to be with you but assuming he knows of your break up then he will be aware I would hope that you are not interested in rushing things.

Posted

It's fine to agree you want kids, but you need to NEVER have kids with anyone until you've known them at least a couple of years and made sure they're responsible and can afford it!! So make it clear you wouldn't have kids until you had known him a good while and were both committed.

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Posted

He does know about the break up. He knows everything.

 

We have both agreed that we would want to be in love first, so I feel better now. :)

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