livingnightmare Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 (edited) Met a single mom of 2 on Facebook, I knew her about 14 yrs ago and hadn't seen her since. We started chatting on fb then it went to texts , she told me all about her past and asked me not to judge her, which I don't as her past wasn't her fault, and I respect her highly for trusting me with it and for coming through it. So she invited me around for dinner and I stopped the night as its a small journey away, nothing happened and there were no signs of it either. Suddenly the messaging was just one word replys with only a few big convos in between so I took it as she's not interested, and stopped texting for a few days, all of a sudden she starts texting me asking how I was and how she hasn't heard from me, she also asked me if i would like to go to her sons presentation evening in a month with them and asked me to come around for dinner the following day. So I went and had a great day there the hair twirling and giggling getting more and more till she had her hair all open and was non stop playing with it, there were deep long lasting stairs to as we talked, I picked up she was interested with the constant smiling etc. Well I had to leave and being that the kids were there I didn't get a chance to make a move, and to be dead honest I'm nervous to in case I'm rejected. The next day we spoke and msgd all day, then bam.. One word replies again. So do you think she's interested or I'm just there to pick her up if she's down, she had mentioned she feels unwanted and left on a heap so I told her I'm interested in her, that was when she asked me around. Any advice on my next move, I don't want to move to fast in case I scare her off, but I feel it must be a big thing to invite me to her teenage sons event? But I feel like I'm getting hot and cold treatment at the same time, maybe she is just busy being a mom which i can totally understand. Or because I haven't made a move she looses interest? Any ideas,Tips, or advice? Or maybe I'm deep in the friend zone or a self esteem booster? But surely when I mentioned I am interested in her she would have put me in my place? Edited March 24, 2014 by livingnightmare friend zone thought
Author livingnightmare Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 Good way of putting it about the texts and makes sence to me, when we talk on the phone non stop about everything and anything its very intense and full of life. Taking it slow is something I want to do to be honest, when I meant make a move I did mean kissing, but I'm only thinking that as I don't want her to loose interest. Yeah a ltr is what I'm thinking and I'm prepared to invest time just scared of getting hurt in some form or another. I have known her family and still do for over 20 yrs and initially it was just friendship when I met the kids, and maybe that's all she's after and why she invited me knowing I am a family friend? I guess time is the key. Been along time since I've been in any situation like this its like I'm new to it.
Author livingnightmare Posted March 25, 2014 Author Posted March 25, 2014 Over the moon to be called by her this morning. I'm really picking up she's into me so I asked if her and her kids would like to go to the cinema and have a meal together, I explained that I understand that her kids come first, and only want to do this if she felt it was appropriate. I asked them all out because I wanted to show that I'm serious about her and know that her kids are part of her. She responded very happily and I could hear the smile as she said she would love to. I had explained to her when we were discussing all sorts over dinner I'm looking for a serious relationship so she knows I'm not in this to mess about. So does anyone have any ideas on how to impress this lady? I really like her caring qualities, I know these qualities are born out of her struggle and how she had the strength to get through it. Really see something special in her, that i haven't seen before and to top it off she is very beautiful too, (it wasn't her looks that initially attracted me to her), just don't want to mess this up, your words of wisdom are appreciated on how to step slowly in the right direction.
Author livingnightmare Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 (edited) Hmm, hot n cold again. She initiates txtn through whats app, asks me what I'm up to then just disappears mid chat, not to resume it at all at any point, this is not the first time. I can appreciate her having to stop what she's doing to tend to the kids and other responsibilities, but to not get back at all I'm picking up as rude? I usually msg her good morning, but last night I msgd and she seemed very distant. today I'm in 2 minds not to say good morning or contact her till she contacts me. I'm for some reason picking this up as a red flag? Could really do with some help on this. I'm hopeless at this kind of stuff, I would only imagine its more complicated with a single mom, really need some experienced advice. Edited March 26, 2014 by livingnightmare
thecrucible Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I usually msg her good morning, but last night I msgd and she seemed very distant. today I'm in 2 minds not to say good morning or contact her till she contacts me. I'm for some reason picking this up as a red flag? Could really do with some help on this. I'm hopeless at this kind of stuff, I would only imagine its more complicated with a single mom, really need some experienced advice. I think be yourself and act naturally i.e. don't talk to her any differently than you would to anyone else, as if you're still getting to know each other, you're not at the stage where the special treatment has been earned if you know what I mean. I know you want to impress her but make sure you're getting reciprocal effort. That said, definitely still be yourself because the right woman will appreciate it. So what I mean is play it by ear, and if there's any uncertainty from her side, I wouldn't react to that by coming on stronger. I think also you should arrange to see her in person as soon as you can so you can make that move and get a better idea where you stand. The trouble with talking online or through texts is that you really have no idea how serious the person is. Some people reply to be friendly or out of a sense of obligation..and you don't know how she sees it so I think you should take it to in-person quickly and not get emotions mixed up in the textual communications. 1
thecrucible Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I'm hopeless at this kind of stuff No you're not hopeless honey And honestly if you're hopeless than the whole damn world is, 'cause no one really knows what they're doing in relationships. It's always trial and error. Remember think positive as signs are good (She called so that's a pretty good sign) and she might just take a while to develop more feelings. She is talking to you that is really great. Try and distract yourself from the technology as well. It's so easy to read so much into texting but for all you know nothing is wrong at all and she wouldn't think about coming across in any particular way. I think it'll be great if you see her in person and take it from there. 1
Author livingnightmare Posted March 27, 2014 Author Posted March 27, 2014 Yes your right, I'm getting way to ahead of myself trying to work out what everything means. I'm picking every text wrong... I had wrote out a big reply feeling all negative.... Then She called near the end of my unfounded pessimistic post so I erased :-) I've been asked to come up to help her put some D.I.Y stuff up, and have a drink and meal on the weekend. I will also be stopping cus of the distance, she insists on paying me, which I certainly will not except, it will only take an hour tops. I'm going to do exactly as you say and be myself, that's all I've done so far and I think I'm doing OK, seeing alot of positives at the moment. Thank you for your advice thecrucible, not feeling half as hopeless at the moment, more on the hopeful side now :-) but I musnt let myself get carried away over nothing yet, still early days.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Seems she is inviting u places maybe she wants u to suggest getting together x
Author livingnightmare Posted March 27, 2014 Author Posted March 27, 2014 Seems she is inviting u places maybe she wants u to suggest getting together x This is where I'm clueless, she knows I fancy her when she said she feels like shes left on a heap, I told I told her she's the only woman I'm interested in getting to know at the moment and I've been chatting to more recently. I'll just have to play it by ear. For all I know I could be just friend zoned, or handy as a handy man, even though I'm a kind of rough and ready type of bloke with a lot of things, with women I'm a softy and maybe to much of a nice guy. Maybe I'm just company and she's lonely, damn I can be such a pessimist at times, definitely old wounds. If It rains I will have no work tomorrow so will see what happens, if not I'll be going Saturday. Feel like a teenager again ffs. (Then again I'm always complaining to myself I'm getting old Lol) were both mid 30s btw.
Author livingnightmare Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 Sent a short text yesterday morning letting her know I had to work as the weather was good for paving and my daughter will be stopping the night and I got no reply, I then gave 1 call when I got home in the evening and got no answer. It was on the cards Friday would be work, but now I dont know if today is still on, I don't really want to text or call again in case I look desperate. Would have been nice to get a reply as if its all off for whatever reason I could go into work this morning and get back in to my normal routine of relying on no one, expecting nothing from people and not get my hopes up about anything. I actually feel concerned that there's nothing the matter and she's ok, but I cant help feel negative and let down... Oh well back to reality.
Author livingnightmare Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Well I ended up going down and she was really ill, helped with the small amount of diy and dopone a few bits n bobs as she was clearly worse for wear ( first flagshe did make a thing about looking a mess, but this makes me think if she was interested she wouldn't want me to see her in a mess) There was plenty of flirting all day long and I stopped the night but obviously I wasn't going to say anything or attempt a kiss because she was ill. When I left she asked me 2 come back but forn She asked if I would come to the vets with her as the cat had a mild contagious infection which could spread to humans and she needed to shop and look after her little girl while she was unwell at the same time. I obliged, but that's 2 matters of concern now. 3rd concern, she brought up her exs to me and told me she still speaks to one she was with for 4 years. Red flag city at the moment. Even though she emphasized how much she wants to get better and have a drink. To be honest, I'm starting to loose interest. Starting to believe more and more I'm nothing more than a friend and emotional support. Only time will tell. Your thoughts plz.
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