SunshineOnMe Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 For those have helped me with my first post, I thank you. I've been single and trying to improve myself. Something came up and I'd like to get everyones' take on it. I was on my Facebook yesterday. Now I am no longer friends with my ex, but I was curious to see if his profile picture has changed. It was with a different girl... but not the issue. In regards to mutual friends, you can always see those. A lot of our mutual friends have removed me from their friends lists. They still have him on theirs of course. It's like everyone is against me. Why did they feel the need to remove me? (I'm just thinking out loud and wanted some input)
iDrumKing Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 This is just MY OPINION but when I see a friend of mine hurt physically/emotionally, I'm there for them. His or her problem becomes my problem. So they probably didn't want to associate themselves with you. I had to go back to your first post, and I have to say that you did a number on your ex BF.
Zahara Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 It's possible that he told them how you ended it with him along with your recent interaction with him and they're siding with him or now view you in a negative light.
Author SunshineOnMe Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 Is there anything I can do? I mean these are people who were friends male and female that I hung out with.
Cakess Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 You had a bad breakup, and so it's like a battlefield. After all the dust settles, some people decide that they want to be on one side or the other. So these friends chose him, so what? Maybe they aren't the real friends you need in life.
Author SunshineOnMe Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 You had a bad breakup, and so it's like a battlefield. After all the dust settles, some people decide that they want to be on one side or the other. So these friends chose him, so what? Maybe they aren't the real friends you need in life. I just don't know what to do. I don't want my BU to ripple through my social circle. I gotta fix this somehow.
iDrumKing Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 That's just what happens when you BU. You gotta understand that. Are they your friends? Yes, but there's a thing called loyalty. Sure I understand when it is frustrating when a situation between 2 people can become a situation of more than that, but that's the name of the game. Have you tried reaching out to these people to see where they are standing on this issue?
Never Again Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Honestly, the best thing you can do to "fix" this is to leave it alone for a good, long while. We've gone over the facts in your old thread. You broke this guy's heart because you were bored and losing interest and never, ever really gave him a chance to rekindle that "spark" before you left. You tossed him into the rubbish, then tried to come around later when he'd finally moved on and let you go. At best, people think you're selfish. At worst, they think you're a horribly selfish drama-queen. The dust is still settling, in a way. Let it go. If you see these people around, act civil but do not pressure them. Let them dictate if they want to talk to you. They'll respect you for not pushing it. When you broke your ex's heart and trust, you splintered your group of friends. I was the dumpee and I bent over backwards like a chump, turning myself into a complete doormat for my ex, to ensure that our mutual friends did not feel pressured to take sides. It was four months of agonizing hell and I assuaged her guilt the whole time to minimize drama, and I'd never EVER do that again. Let those friends go for now. If they care about you, they'll come around when things aren't so "weird". 1
Zahara Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 I just don't know what to do. I don't want my BU to ripple through my social circle. I gotta fix this somehow. Unfortunately, it happens. People chose sides and they have loyalty. Part of it could also be that they now view you negatively based on your actions. If they're abandoning the friendship, it's a sign that they didn't value it and if that's the case, it's time to maybe branch out or do without these people. I don't think you can win. Best to let it go. 1
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