CheeseTofu Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Hello everyone! Before getting into a relationship with someone, I guess everyone had that meeting, infatuation, flirting... Then confession. Well, I guess I'm stuck at the infatuation part. I've known this guy, let's call him J, for almost 4 months. He hinted me about his feelings for me, and did mention stuff like, "She's perfect to me." He mentioned the line in my signature too, "I've had many crushes before, but this time it's different, and I know it's true." I acted rather blur and oblivious as I didn't know what to do. I won't deny I do have feelings for him, but I've only known him for 4 months. Is that too short of a friendship before getting into a relationship? Also, how I can be sure that he really does love me? What should I do and do you have any thoughts about the line, "The longer the chase, the longer the relationship."? Thanks!
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 There is no time limit as to when you can start dating someone. It can be in one night, it depends on when you feel you are ready. If you are interested you need to let him know, by flirting , or giving him hints. He is looking for a signal and so far you haven't givin him one that he can see. As for love, love needs to develop when you are BF/GF. So stop wondering if he loves you....that comes with time. 3
GemmaUK Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 There is no time limit as to when you can start dating someone. It can be in one night, it depends on when you feel you are ready. If you are interested you need to let him know, by flirting , or giving him hints. He is looking for a signal and so far you haven't givin him one that he can see. As for love, love needs to develop when you are BF/GF. So stop wondering if he loves you....that comes with time. I totally agree with this. However, my best relationships have come from knowing someone for a few months beforehand. The flirting can be as simple as leaning into him, being more touchy with him. 4 months is a good period of time to have got to know whether you are interested. Remember though that you need to be interested and not simply reacting to his interest. How would you feel right now if he were to tell you he has been on a date today and met a new lady? If that thought is a horrible one (as in you missed out and you actually are interested in him) then you gotta do something. He could lose interest and give up if you don't make a move. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Hello everyone! "The longer the chase, the longer the relationship."? Thanks! First, you can't paint every person and experience with the same paintbrush. Some people need and want more time to sort out their feelings for someone while others can fall head over heels in love within minutes of meeting. You can't say one is right and not the other because it's all very subjective. I've known couples in both cases so I'm speaking from experience. First, stop worrying about "love". If you're into him and he's into you, enjoy! Let him know it and begin your journey together and see what happens. Putting pressure on WHEN you need to start loving him or fretting if HE loves you will be a quick death to what might have been a wonderful union. Relax and just let it unfold as it should. Second, your quote "The longer the chase, the longer the relationship" is just that...a quote. Believing in this is like believing that once you get married, you'll stay in love and stay happily married for life. NOT! One doesn't guarantee the other so take it with a grain of salt and live life on YOUR terms and not what you read or hear or see. Enjoy and good luck! 2
Author CheeseTofu Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 There is no time limit as to when you can start dating someone. It can be in one night, it depends on when you feel you are ready. If you are interested you need to let him know, by flirting , or giving him hints. He is looking for a signal and so far you haven't givin him one that he can see. As for love, love needs to develop when you are BF/GF. So stop wondering if he loves you....that comes with time. Aww, thank you! I totally agree with this. However, my best relationships have come from knowing someone for a few months beforehand. The flirting can be as simple as leaning into him, being more touchy with him. 4 months is a good period of time to have got to know whether you are interested. Remember though that you need to be interested and not simply reacting to his interest. How would you feel right now if he were to tell you he has been on a date today and met a new lady? If that thought is a horrible one (as in you missed out and you actually are interested in him) then you gotta do something. He could lose interest and give up if you don't make a move. I guess that'll feel really crappy... Jealousy, I presume! I've dropped him a hint or two... Pretty sure he got it! Thank you! First, you can't paint every person and experience with the same paintbrush. Some people need and want more time to sort out their feelings for someone while others can fall head over heels in love within minutes of meeting. You can't say one is right and not the other because it's all very subjective. I've known couples in both cases so I'm speaking from experience. First, stop worrying about "love". If you're into him and he's into you, enjoy! Let him know it and begin your journey together and see what happens. Putting pressure on WHEN you need to start loving him or fretting if HE loves you will be a quick death to what might have been a wonderful union. Relax and just let it unfold as it should. Second, your quote "The longer the chase, the longer the relationship" is just that...a quote. Believing in this is like believing that once you get married, you'll stay in love and stay happily married for life. NOT! One doesn't guarantee the other so take it with a grain of salt and live life on YOUR terms and not what you read or hear or see. Enjoy and good luck! Thank you so much! Yes, I guess that's just a idealistic quote! I hope we can turn out well too... Just afraid of getting hurt all over again, and having to get over it alone. Still, thanks! 1
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 There are never any guarantees when it comes to relationships....it's always a risk to fall in love.....it's just part of life. If there was no risk, life would be boring now wouldn't it?
Author CheeseTofu Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 There are never any guarantees when it comes to relationships....it's always a risk to fall in love.....it's just part of life. If there was no risk, live would be boring now wouldn't it? Yeah, guess it really would. Any tips on how to know if a guy's really interested in you? Haha, thanks so much!
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 When a guy goes out of his way to talk to you, be around you, stares at you, he is interested.
GemmaUK Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 'There is no passion without risk' One of my favourite quotes. He likes you from those things he said. If you feel the same jump in. He is a guy..guy's don't do hints very well sometimes...be a lot more obvious. I invited mine on a date. I said 'date' when I asked him out even though friends of mine would be there and I told him that they would be out also. My guy was brave coming on a date where two of my friends were! Lol!
Author CheeseTofu Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 When a guy goes out of his way to talk to you, be around you, stares at you, he is interested. Hehe... He does go out of his way to talk to me... Borrowing his mom's or his sister's phone just to text me. Unfortunately, we're 9000 miles apart, so I don't get to see him. 'There is no passion without risk' One of my favourite quotes. He likes you from those things he said. If you feel the same jump in. He is a guy..guy's don't do hints very well sometimes...be a lot more obvious. I invited mine on a date. I said 'date' when I asked him out even though friends of mine would be there and I told him that they would be out also. My guy was brave coming on a date where two of my friends were! Lol! Aww! That's cute haha! Sounds almost like a fairytale. Hehe, I know he's interested in me but... Wanna find out if he's a keeper! Or rather if he's serious about it, especially in the long run!
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I agree, there is nothing stopping you from asking him on a date. I have asked many guys on dates with great success. Then again I had no fear of rejection....didn't care.
Author CheeseTofu Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 I agree, there is nothing stopping you from asking him on a date. I have asked many guys on dates with great success. Then again I had no fear of rejection....didn't care. Hehehe, that's so awesome! You must be really attractive, I guess. Haha, I don't think I would have to ask... He's already hinted me he's going to ask 'that' girl out on 1st April!
Author CheeseTofu Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 Well remember to look your best then! Hehe yup! Can't wait too, although I don't know what to do currently. Accept, or wait and be friends for a few more weeks/months?
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 You will be able to answer that after your date. Just relax and see how it goes. If you go out on a date, it doesn't obligate you to have a relationship with them. But please do communicate with him your expectations. 1
Author CheeseTofu Posted March 23, 2014 Author Posted March 23, 2014 You will be able to answer that after your date. Just relax and see how it goes. If you go out on a date, it doesn't obligate you to have a relationship with them. But please do communicate with him your expectations. Yes I will! Thanks so much!
Recommended Posts