Onmymind Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I'm blown away by my progress 5 months post bu with absolute pure nc on both ends. But I miss the companionship, the love and all the things we did together. So much traveling, so many amazing beaches and paradise places in nature. So many road trips and random excursions. Though I no longer feel the need to re live those events with her, I long to love similar if not the same memories with someone new, who loves herself enough to love me properly!!! I've confirmed that I'm an amazing guy and I tend to do everything right, my mistake was loving my ex too much, I'm damn proud to say that to. But, alas I am happy with my life, job and friends but I do miss a partner in crime, intimacy and absolute loyalty, trust and loving bondage. I don't f$$$ around when it comes to relationships... How long did it take some of you to date again happily? And do you a think you meet someone when one least expects it? Thanks for your responses!
BradJacobs Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Sounds to me as though you are ready. It took me days but I still have periods where I miss her fiercely. And I don't know about the least expected bit. I think we choose when we are ready to invite someone into our world. 1
Allumere Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I'm a chick in the same boat and similar timeline. I haven't made the same degree of progress but I agree with the things you miss and desire. For me the emotional healing process is long and gets longer with each breakup. It has been from 8 months to 15 months before I was even ready to consider dating. This go round I think it may be years to never as the toll the dumpings have taken, the chunk of my life I loose to the depression isn't worth going through anymore. Life is just to short. I think everyone is different. Some folks can get back in the game quickly, others not so much. I say go at your own pace. You'll know after a date or two if you are ready 1
DirtyHairy Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Well that is good that you feel happy and are ready to go again. I was in a close to 3 year relationship with a girl and then she just left me out of the blue one day and that killed me....I was down and out for a long long time and I still am....that was 7 or 8 months ago. Still bothers me every single day, no matter how hard I try and not think about it. I want to find someone to date but right now I just haven't met many girls who seem interested in me (the ones I was interested in turned out to have boyfriends--of course right?) I think it will be until I hit the 1 year mark that I might be ready but we will see what the summer bring. I feel the same as you though. I miss the companionship, the love, the connection with someone you only have with that one person. I am excited to have that with someone new but it just doesn't seem to be happening I haven't been on a date since which sucks. Maybe I will meet someone unexpectedly but honestly I am expecting to meet someone but it never happens.....makes me sad since I am a super nice guy and an amazing boyfriend.....one day...one day soon 1
Author Onmymind Posted March 23, 2014 Author Posted March 23, 2014 I'm a chick in the same boat and similar timeline. I haven't made the same degree of progress but I agree with the things you miss and desire. For me the emotional healing process is long and gets longer with each breakup. It has been from 8 months to 15 months before I was even ready to consider dating. This go round I think it may be years to never as the toll the dumpings have taken, the chunk of my life I loose to the depression isn't worth going through anymore. Life is just to short. I think everyone is different. Some folks can get back in the game quickly, others not so much. I say go at your own pace. You'll know after a date or two if you are ready She was my first true love and long-term/extremely serious and dedicated relationship. Our worlds revolved around each-other and we spent at least 30-40 hours a week together, not including the sleeping over most nights. I really thought I was going to marry her!!! Amazing how people can give you their heart, and then take it back in a second whilst walking away and being like "phhht, good riddens!" Life does often feel like its too fast, and too short! Well that is good that you feel happy and are ready to go again. I was in a close to 3 year relationship with a girl and then she just left me out of the blue one day and that killed me....I was down and out for a long long time and I still am....that was 7 or 8 months ago. Still bothers me every single day, no matter how hard I try and not think about it. I want to find someone to date but right now I just haven't met many girls who seem interested in me (the ones I was interested in turned out to have boyfriends--of course right?) I think it will be until I hit the 1 year mark that I might be ready but we will see what the summer bring. I feel the same as you though. I miss the companionship, the love, the connection with someone you only have with that one person. I am excited to have that with someone new but it just doesn't seem to be happening I haven't been on a date since which sucks. Maybe I will meet someone unexpectedly but honestly I am expecting to meet someone but it never happens.....makes me sad since I am a super nice guy and an amazing boyfriend.....one day...one day soon So much like me it seems!
limbophase Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 I'm blown away by my progress 5 months post bu with absolute pure nc on both ends. But I miss the companionship, the love and all the things we did together. So much traveling, so many amazing beaches and paradise places in nature. So many road trips and random excursions. Though I no longer feel the need to re live those events with her, I long to love similar if not the same memories with someone new, who loves herself enough to love me properly!!! I've confirmed that I'm an amazing guy and I tend to do everything right, my mistake was loving my ex too much, I'm damn proud to say that to. But, alas I am happy with my life, job and friends but I do miss a partner in crime, intimacy and absolute loyalty, trust and loving bondage. I don't f$$$ around when it comes to relationships... How long did it take some of you to date again happily? And do you a think you meet someone when one least expects it? Thanks for your responses! Hey there. You sound exactly like me man. I've made some progress, and I love how you said you deserve a girl who loves herself enough to love you properly. I feel the same about my ex, except that I still want her. If she came back, I'd strongly consider it. Haven't found someone who makes me feel the way she did. I hope I can find someone soon. I know our time will come. This is my story. Maybe we can help each other out. You sound like you're on the right track, so keep it up. You deserve all the best man. I'm rooting for you. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/466701-slowly-moving-but-i-have-days-when-i-look-back#post5585288 1
Author Onmymind Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 Hey there. You sound exactly like me man. I've made some progress, and I love how you said you deserve a girl who loves herself enough to love you properly. I feel the same about my ex, except that I still want her. If she came back, I'd strongly consider it. Haven't found someone who makes me feel the way she did. I hope I can find someone soon. I know our time will come. This is my story. Maybe we can help each other out. You sound like you're on the right track, so keep it up. You deserve all the best man. I'm rooting for you. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/466701-slowly-moving-but-i-have-days-when-i-look-back#post5585288 I really appreciate this man! I also read your story, it's sickening how quickly they can change their minds. I know usually it takes them months to feel this way, slowly let go and then let go for GOOD. They can never just tell us right then and there they no longer feel the same. They give themselves plenty of time to move on while being in the relationship then cut off when they are ready. It makes me feel very hopeless in the future with other women, I mean, how can someone who was so obsessed with spending every moment with me just DIE emotionally and severe everything we worked so hard for?? People sicken me sometimes, I guess I should be happy that I'm not like that? If I was in the position of my ex, I would have fought to try to see if we could do something to fix what wasn't right or just TALK IT OUT, hardcore... Nope she just couldn't do it...Lesson learned.
Recommended Posts