Am i doing it right?

[retort]

My ex and i, broke up after a wonderful and fulfilling 2.5 years together last month. We were both 19 when we met. We were each other first loves. Needless to say, we were head over heels, in love with each other at the very start. Our relationship were basically the same as the others, we were very loving, had some minor quarrel and tiffs here and there (mostly my fault). But recently, i had to enter compulsory National Service (for those of you unfamiliar with the term, it's to serve the Army).

 

I had absolutely no time for her most of the time as the training would leave me tired and exhausted at the end of the day, further on i was expected to stay in camp for the entire week and was only allowed to leave during the weekends. I would try my very best to spend the weekends with her. Admittedly, i tried to blow her off whenever she asks me for walks or try to tell me her feelings as i was usually tired and short tempered (I got scolded a lot in camp). This went on to happen for 3 months or so. However, reaching the end of our relation, she started to drift away from me, hardly speaking or contacting me in anyway.

 

She than told me that in the past three months, she had been confiding and talking to one of our mutual friend about us. She was trying to hide it from me although i found out through her phone. After catching and confronting her, she then proceed to breakup with me 3 weeks ago, citing that she did not want to lie to me and could not bring herself to hurt me. Apparently, its through these communication where she started to develop feelings for the other guy.

 

I did the worse mistake that any guy could have done and started begging for her to return that i would make up my mistakes and change for her. It's all to no avail. For the first few days after the breakup, we had little to no contact. (Just me begging for her to return.) However, she did contact me to meet up a week later just to return some items that belonged to me. It was during this meetup that she told me that she was in a confused state right now, and apparently, has feelings for both of us. We made out that day. After i sent her home, she seemed to went back to before and started ignoring me. I continued trying to pursue her. However, she made her relationship public with the other guy a week ago. I was distraught, so i asked her for a last meeting, prepared a speech to tell her that i will get over her and wish her all the best. We made out again during that meetup. She told me that she loved me but she needed time and some NC.

 

That was the last i saw her since. Should i continue waiting, in hopes that she may choose me? I'm having a terrible time in NC, but I'm doing what what most people suggest, keeping myself busy, workout, learn some music and spend more time with my parents and managed to keep her out of my life for the past 4 days. I just have this feeling that she's the love of my life and i can't do without her... Should i try to persuade her for the last time when we meet? (we agreed to meet 3 weeks later)

 

Hopefully you guys can advise.

 

Thanks; confused guy.

[chir]

I believe we are from the same city..

 

Just to lend you some support.

I am in a bad stage myself now. .so i cant really say much.

 

can only say she is confused. Let her go. If she come back on her own accord. She is yours

You not chasing her in any form shape or manner. Totally no contact from your part.

 

On the other hand, if she did come back. I wil be wary ..she might leave you again.

That is the risk you have to take.

 

If she didn't you know she is never the girl for u

[retort]

I believe we are from the same city..

 

Just to lend you some support.

I am in a bad stage myself now. .so i cant really say much.

 

can only say she is confused. Let her go. If she come back on her own accord. She is yours

You not chasing her in any form shape or manner. Totally no contact from your part.

 

On the other hand, if she did come back. I wil be wary ..she might leave you again.

That is the risk you have to take.

 

If she didn't you know she is never the girl for u

 

Ahaha from a little red dot as well? Well, Army already has an reputation to bring apart couples.. So i just just maintain NC? Even though we have already arranged a date to end it... I've been missing her for the past few days. Been thinking of my past mistakes, trying to amend them, learn from them and change..

[Lifegoezon]

This sounds more complicated than it is. You took your eye off the ball in the RS and she found someone new. You've already begged her to give you another chance so she knows what you want. Sure she's confused about her feelings but she dumped you so the ball is in her court. You need to maintain total NC and give her a chance to sort herself out. If she wants to give you another chance she knows that's what you want so she will let you know. If she decides to stay away from you then you will already be on the road to recovery through NC.

 

Learn from this so you don't make the same mistakes in your next RS. And do not keep meeting up and making out. She's not learning to miss you and make a decision and you are just picking the scab. It's not necessary to make an appointment 3 weeks ahead just to confirm it's still over. If it's not she can find you to tell you whenever she's sure.

[retort]

I believe we are from the same city..

 

Just to lend you some support.

I am in a bad stage myself now. .so i cant really say much.

 

can only say she is confused. Let her go. If she come back on her own accord. She is yours

You not chasing her in any form shape or manner. Totally no contact from your part.

 

On the other hand, if she did come back. I wil be wary ..she might leave you again.

That is the risk you have to take.

 

If she didn't you know she is never the girl for u

 

Anyways, care to share your problems as well? Maybe you'd feel better.

[chir]

See my post about. My friend just told me he have a gf barely 1mth after us.

 

I don't love him but I am v upset...really v hurt.. see my thread..i keep

looking for reply for emotional support. But there isn't much.

[elseaacych]

I totally understand where you're coming from about having outside stressors on the relationship, and trusting your partner to let you work through it, but those messages come through as "neglect", and "disinterest". You may have both been getting past the honeymoon phases, so the passion may have been waning on her part, a little bit. This new phase of the relationship couldn't have come at a worse time, because it's the first time where things seem uncertain. And for some people that is a very scary thing.

 

With the mixed messages, it's easy for them to want to find an out, because they are uncertain with you. Things just don't feel the same, and there's a new love interest who's showing them interest that you just can't, even though you want to, so much.

 

My advice is this. She left you. Another person was involved. This suggests that she may not be able to give you the commitment you need for a truly healthy long term relationship. If that is what you want for yourself, don't be afraid to start dating again. (Notice, "dating", not "new relationship". Only do that if you are ready)

 

Now is the time to focus on what you want. You can't focus on her, because she is in another relationship. Don't make any assumptions about her, how she's feeling, or what she's doing. Don't assume the relationship is a "rebound", short term, or gigs. It won't help you. Because in your daily life, that won't change anything. Calling her won't do anything, because she's elsewhere. Evaluate what you really want, and don't be afraid to examine your relationship REALLY CLOSELY for other warning signs that she may not have been a good fit.

 

What you need is to do take care of you, because that's all you can do at the moment. And that is enough. You can do it.

[elseaacych]

One more thought. You are doing it right if you evaluate your relationship, and you learn good things. You are doing it right if you evaluate your relationship and you learn bad things. You are doing it right if you realize something you are totally surprised about it. You are doing it right if it causes you tremendous pain. You are doing it right if you still feel bad after a couple of days. You are STILL doing it right if you legitimately want to look within yourself to make yourself better. You are doing it right if you suddenly realize that anything she does, short of asking you back, will not make you feel better. So you isolate yourself from her.

 

Just know that with every realization you will have some more mental clarity and you will find yourself on the road to recovery.

[retort]

I totally understand where you're coming from about having outside stressors on the relationship, and trusting your partner to let you work through it, but those messages come through as "neglect", and "disinterest". You may have both been getting past the honeymoon phases, so the passion may have been waning on her part, a little bit. This new phase of the relationship couldn't have come at a worse time, because it's the first time where things seem uncertain. And for some people that is a very scary thing.

 

With the mixed messages, it's easy for them to want to find an out, because they are uncertain with you. Things just don't feel the same, and there's a new love interest who's showing them interest that you just can't, even though you want to, so much.

 

My advice is this. She left you. Another person was involved. This suggests that she may not be able to give you the commitment you need for a truly healthy long term relationship. If that is what you want for yourself, don't be afraid to start dating again. (Notice, "dating", not "new relationship". Only do that if you are ready)

 

Now is the time to focus on what you want. You can't focus on her, because she is in another relationship. Don't make any assumptions about her, how she's feeling, or what she's doing. Don't assume the relationship is a "rebound", short term, or gigs. It won't help you. Because in your daily life, that won't change anything. Calling her won't do anything, because she's elsewhere. Evaluate what you really want, and don't be afraid to examine your relationship REALLY CLOSELY for other warning signs that she may not have been a good fit.

 

What you need is to do take care of you, because that's all you can do at the moment. And that is enough. You can do it.

 

Thanks a lot for the extremely insightful advice. Would you think there's any likelihood she would reconsider me? She's really just the type of girl I'd love, beautiful; both in and out, took care of me, appears when i needed her most.. Has the most wonderful family as well (she introduced me 1 year into our relationship.)

 

Another thing, her new bf, its a LDR, would that be likely to give me more chance? I don't think i will ever let her go.. But one thing i promised her was that i would wait for her to get her feelings right.

 

I'm trying my best to keep myself well, keep her out of my mind! And yep, this event has brought about much changes in me and my attitude towards life. Hopefully, for the better.

[retort]

This sounds more complicated than it is. You took your eye off the ball in the RS and she found someone new. You've already begged her to give you another chance so she knows what you want. Sure she's confused about her feelings but she dumped you so the ball is in her court. You need to maintain total NC and give her a chance to sort herself out. If she wants to give you another chance she knows that's what you want so she will let you know. If she decides to stay away from you then you will already be on the road to recovery through NC.

 

Learn from this so you don't make the same mistakes in your next RS. And do not keep meeting up and making out. She's not learning to miss you and make a decision and you are just picking the scab. It's not necessary to make an appointment 3 weeks ahead just to confirm it's still over. If it's not she can find you to tell you whenever she's sure.

 

Basically, i should continue NC as long as it takes for her to contact me again? I kinda of blew my chances a week ago when i got mad at her for rejecting my phone umpteen times. I shouted at her when she finally answered the call. (told her i was extremely worried and thought that something had happened) I was later told by her that prior to that shouting incident, she was actually considering to give me another chance to restart our relationship again.

[retort]

just a little update, she posted on one my fb picture 'Memories ):'. no idea what does it mean. She also posted on my wall a couple of crying smiles... but deleted it in a few seconds. any idea what it means?

Edited March 23, 2014 by retort

[Lifegoezon]

It doesn't mean anything. She's still confused and showing it probably to keep you hanging on to hope. Remember you do NC for your healing not to get her back. It might be over for ever. It might not. It's up to her to let you know beyond any doubt what she wants. In the meantime you have to treat it as over, leave her alone to work out her own feelings. Maybe she'll come back to you, maybe not. It doesn't matter. NC will make you ready for whatever happens but you have to be strict about it. No calling, no stalking, no Facebook - nothing. It's hard but it's necessary.

[Conners]

ignore anything unless she specifically states she wants you back.

[elseaacych]

Thanks a lot for the extremely insightful advice. Would you think there's any likelihood she would reconsider me? She's really just the type of girl I'd love, beautiful; both in and out, took care of me, appears when i needed her most.. Has the most wonderful family as well (she introduced me 1 year into our relationship.)

 

Another thing, her new bf, its a LDR, would that be likely to give me more chance? I don't think i will ever let her go.. But one thing i promised her was that i would wait for her to get her feelings right.

 

I'm trying my best to keep myself well, keep her out of my mind! And yep, this event has brought about much changes in me and my attitude towards life. Hopefully, for the better.

 

Retort, I feel like I am talking to myself here, because we are in the same boat. I feel the same towards my ex. He is the person I could never get enough of. (well, there were times I could have enough of him, but I'd always want to come back for another hit in a short time frame. Healthy? I dunno.) But we broke up for a reason. Actually, lots of reasons. Still loved him though. Still do. You can still love her. No shame in that, though I don't think it helps you at all when there's another person in the picture. You need to think about your reasons of why it ended.

 

The things that I put in bold are some things I think you might want to consider. She always appeared when you needed her most. Aside from the fact that she didn't stick around for you, but why did she wait until all the chips were down to swoop in and save the day? Doesn't suggest a problem solving mentality, but rather a problem avoidant mentality. (Combined with the issue that led to your break up.) Also, that she doesn't consider your needs until it's extremely obvious that you need her. I don't know if I am on the right track with this or not, but it's something you want to think about. You also really need to examine her actions in getting together with this other person. That suggests a lot about her.

 

She may seize on the last bolded sentence, and treat you like a back up plan, IF her LDR doesn't work out. You deserve better. Also, don't make assumptions about her relationship. You don't have a crystal ball to see inside her mind. He may be the love of her life, as sucky as that seems. You never know. And I don't think you want to pick her up off the rebound if it fails...

 

You only have so much time in the world, and sitting around waiting for something you can't say for sure will happen, or when it will happen, or if it will happen just sucks.

 

Just take your relationship, and put it under the microscope. Think about your values. Hers. What her actions toward you during and after the break up say to you. What she wants for the future. What you want for the future. Can you live without her in it? You lived without her before. Realize that you two may not be as compatible as you seemed. Yeah, you may be in fact "adequate", for each other, but not the "forever fireworks of love" type love you want, because if it was forever fireworks of love, you'd still be together. It's okay that you're not. You are doing yourself a disservice by hoping for something you have no control over: getting back together. In fact, you have a world of new possibilities in front of you. There are so many people out there to meet, and she (likely) just picked the guy that was "there" at the time. You have a world of new possibilities ahead. Remember.

Edited March 23, 2014 by elseaacych

[retort]

Retort, I feel like I am talking to myself here, because we are in the same boat. I feel the same towards my ex. He is the person I could never get enough of. (well, there were times I could have enough of him, but I'd always want to come back for another hit in a short time frame. Healthy? I dunno.) But we broke up for a reason. Actually, lots of reasons. Still loved him though. Still do. You can still love her. No shame in that, though I don't think it helps you at all when there's another person in the picture. You need to think about your reasons of why it ended.

 

The things that I put in bold are some things I think you might want to consider. She always appeared when you needed her most. Aside from the fact that she didn't stick around for you, but why did she wait until all the chips were down to swoop in and save the day? Doesn't suggest a problem solving mentality, but rather a problem avoidant mentality. (Combined with the issue that led to your break up.) Also, that she doesn't consider your needs until it's extremely obvious that you need her. I don't know if I am on the right track with this or not, but it's something you want to think about. You also really need to examine her actions in getting together with this other person. That suggests a lot about her.

 

She may seize on the last bolded sentence, and treat you like a back up plan, IF her LDR doesn't work out. You deserve better. Also, don't make assumptions about her relationship. You don't have a crystal ball to see inside her mind. He may be the love of her life, as sucky as that seems. You never know. And I don't think you want to pick her up off the rebound if it fails...

 

You only have so much time in the world, and sitting around waiting for something you can't say for sure will happen, or when it will happen, or if it will happen just sucks.

 

Just take your relationship, and put it under the microscope. Think about your values. Hers. What her actions toward you during and after the break up say to you. What she wants for the future. What you want for the future. Can you live without her in it? You lived without her before. Realize that you two may not be as compatible as you seemed. Yeah, you may be in fact "adequate", for each other, but not the "forever fireworks of love" type love you want, because if it was forever fireworks of love, you'd still be together. It's okay that you're not. You are doing yourself a disservice by hoping for something you have no control over: getting back together. In fact, you have a world of new possibilities in front of you. There are so many people out there to meet, and she (likely) just picked the guy that was "there" at the time. You have a world of new possibilities ahead. Remember.

 

hey there been on no contact for the past four days again.. i know i know i did wrong once again.. but after she posted all those little messages, i bit the bullet and contacted her once again... we went out for dinner, i told her all about my feelings and that i understood her. As much as i wanted to show her the confident side of me.. she could see that i'm hurt and weak on the inside.. she comforted me, hug me; and i cried on her shoulders.. she told me she's still confused and is unable to make up her mind on whom has she chose... i told her that i would give her more time and that she do not have to rush her feelings... i dunno if it's just me.. but i would rather be her backup.. then to lose her... i find other girls incomparable to her..

 

regarding when i said she stood by me, those were the times where i was feeling down not because of her, but other problems such as results, family quarrels. she's the type of girl that everyone would love. joyful, caring, never fails to give me surprises. often write me handwritten letters, and even send long goodnight messages almost every other night.

i guess i failed to cherish her when she was still mine.. neglected her and didnt care for her as much i would want to.

 

i have also decided that if she were to choose the other guy, i would step down gracefully, and attempt to live life all over again. sure there would be scars. but time heals all wound aint it?

 

thanks for your advices elsea, it has been a great pillar of strength to continue NC the last four days. it has been both a joy and a comfort to read your insightful replies. I guess.. i just have to wait it out untill she chooses someone. untill then... i guess i have miss her silently..

[Trovador]

Not being an ahole here, but you are better not contacting her, you presented yourself as a clingy, needy and week man, heck you even cried! As the song says, do your crying in the rain... do you really think women are attracted to softies? She needs to see you as a strong man and the best way is to keep strict NC, otherwise you will be losing all of your dignity...

Edited March 31, 2014 by Trovador

[bluegreen]

She is 19 years old she wants malls, girl friends, soap operas and going out 3 times a week plus she wants someone around 24-7.

Is she wrong of course not that's normal expected and her imagined how the world should be thing.

 

Soon enough you will realize how far away from that world is.

You are in community and environment of people that go trough hell to make sure someone else does not to.

 

As 19 year old girl she can't even begin to understand or identify with that not for years to come at least maybe never.

 

 

So quit begging quit trying just QUIT give yourself a time and look around you.

There are some cute as all that and nice girls who do same thing you do.

You will be understood cared for and most important on same level with them.

 

 

What else could you ask for ?

[retort]

Not being an ahole here, but you are better not contacting her, you presented yourself as a clingy, needy and week man, heck you even cried! As the song says, do your crying in the rain... do you really think women are attracted to softies? She needs to see you as a strong man and the best way is to keep strict NC, otherwise you will be losing all of your dignity...

 

yup! i have been trying NC already. for the few times i contacted her a week ago, i didnt beg her or asked her back. i just told her that i would be there for her and that i have changed. not that it convinced her anyways. she appears to be extremely confused and told me that no one could help her. only she herself could decide on who she wanted to be with. i have also asked her whether the only reason she is still contacting me is that she finds me pitiful and couldnt bear to leave me in the lurch..

 

She is 19 years old she wants malls, girl friends, soap operas and going out 3 times a week plus she wants someone around 24-7.

Is she wrong of course not that's normal expected and her imagined how the world should be thing.

 

Soon enough you will realize how far away from that world is.

You are in community and environment of people that go trough hell to make sure someone else does not to.

 

As 19 year old girl she can't even begin to understand or identify with that not for years to come at least maybe never.

 

 

So quit begging quit trying just QUIT give yourself a time and look around you.

There are some cute as all that and nice girls who do same thing you do.

You will be understood cared for and most important on same level with them.

 

 

What else could you ask for ?

 

As someone who is probably the biggest introvert you have ever seen, i doubt i have the courage to go up to a girl and asked her out. I'm in army right now and theres basically NO girls i could ask out or see even. I only got my ex because she was someone that i had grown into and was on pretty good terms with. And yup! i have stopped all that begging. Before NC, i have tried showing her that i have changed by with actions, last time i used to shout at her when things didnt go my way or she did something wrong. i have been trying to right my wrong. Maybe its true that she's young and needs things that i can give. Maybe i do need some growing up as well.. i truly truly lack the confidence that most guys have to even ask out girls.

 

 

Thanks for you insight guys! It does make my current situation less unbearable, and hopefully i can make it further this time with NC!

[bluegreen]

Hon if you can and did go trough booth camp and survive you damn well can ask a cute girl out.

OK perhaps not now but there is a leave time.

People grow up change mature and Army is amazing place for that in few months or year you will break up few ribs laughing at this.

 

You did what you had to do you shown what you needed to let it be on her Now.

[Chi townD]

just a little update, she posted on one my fb picture 'Memories ):'. no idea what does it mean. She also posted on my wall a couple of crying smiles... but deleted it in a few seconds. any idea what it means?

 

 

 

Yeah, it means you should block her on Facebook AND NOW!!!

 

 

Come on dude!!! She's with another guy! She chose him over you! She put more value on him than you; because lets face it, where is she now?

 

 

Look, you are doing a great thing and serving your country and she couldn't hang with that and be by your side while you did this. Is that marriage material? I think not! She bolted the first minute things got tough.

 

 

Dude, time to block her and move on with your life. There are millions of girls out there that would love an opportunity to be with you and you're hung up on a girl that doesn't want to be with you anymore. So, I have to ask you, Are you being fair to yourself?

[retort]

Hon if you can and did go trough booth camp and survive you damn well can ask a cute girl out.

OK perhaps not now but there is a leave time.

People grow up change mature and Army is amazing place for that in few months or year you will break up few ribs laughing at this.

 

You did what you had to do you shown what you needed to let it be on her Now.

 

It took me every courage i had just to ask her out. I doubt i would like to go on that cruel and harsh journey again. But yea, i hope that army has indeed mature me and allow me to learn from the mistakes i made.

The training has even took her off my mind at times!

 

Yeah, it means you should block her on Facebook AND NOW!!!

 

 

Come on dude!!! She's with another guy! She chose him over you! She put more value on him than you; because lets face it, where is she now?

 

 

Look, you are doing a great thing and serving your country and she couldn't hang with that and be by your side while you did this. Is that marriage material? I think not! She bolted the first minute things got tough.

 

 

Dude, time to block her and move on with your life. There are millions of girls out there that would love an opportunity to be with you and you're hung up on a girl that doesn't want to be with you anymore. So, I have to ask you, Are you being fair to yourself?

 

Instead of blocking her.. i have decided to stay off social media totally (deactived FB). No use using Social Media when all it does was to remind me of her.. She started messaging 'that other dude' even before my army had started. I guessed it was really all my fault for neglecting her when she needed me the most. Guess i was also to preoccupied with my computer gaming and didn't cherish her as much as i like.

 

A little back ground story. When she started confiding in 'that other dude' he had an online girlfriend. It was only until they got public on facebook, than was the online girlfriend notified. I was horrified when i heard of this. Ex told me that she only knew after they gone public and has already scolded 'that other dude'. No matter how much i tried to warn her, she won't listen. (I guessed she didn't listen because i was begging for her to come back at that time pushed her further away). I confronted that other dude through an online platform. He told me that he truly loved my ex and that he would do anything for her. Queer enough, 'that other dude' ex informed me that he told her the same thing.

I really do not want her to get hurt again.. I believe he would do the same thing to her. ( They are in a LDR relationship and has yet to met up since they got together, but he is coming over this two months during her b'day)

Recently we started contact again. She told me she was very confused and very afraid of my actions and that i may repeat them again. I do take all responsibility for hurting her and causing our relationship to break apart slowly. I told her i would give her time to think it through and initiated NC.

I believe she's talking to 'that other dude' on the phone almost daily and they messages each other whenever they are free.

Do i still have a chance? T_T

 

I know i'm mostly at fault (i lie about going out with friends for drinking or watching sports, didnt cherish her, even grab her arm when things doesn't go my way (not abuse). I'm willing to change, to get rid of my faults. That being said.. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.. I can feel my love intensifying for her every day i'm not with her..

[bluegreen]

Some of this is bad but I appreciate honesty in man always have.

Good so you are aware on whats wrong and how to fix those issues once again place you are in will help.

BUT you are not 100 % percent listening to us you have to let go this notion of going back with her at least for a while until your training is done until you finish working on yourself until she matures as well and learns your value or lets you go.

 

 

 

We know your feelings but I doubt anything will happen with you two again.

But if anything is to happen you go on poof in the air on her drop of the face of the earth love her if you must but disappear.

She is choosing whats good for her you need to accept that this is only good sane and will help you in this situation choice only one.

 

Anything else will bring more sorrow don't doubt words of been there done that people and you can do this we know u can ...

[darry]

I'm from the same red dot as well. I feel you bro. I was having a really hard time on NC and it's been 28days. She went back to her ex soon after our brkup instead of giving me another chance. I have not delete/block her from FB yet though. Deep down, i'm still hoping her ex is just a rebound and hoping she'd return to me someday while i continue to improve myself and work on my issues.

[retort]

Some of this is bad but I appreciate honesty in man always have.

Good so you are aware on whats wrong and how to fix those issues once again place you are in will help.

BUT you are not 100 % percent listening to us you have to let go this notion of going back with her at least for a while until your training is done until you finish working on yourself until she matures as well and learns your value or lets you go.

 

 

 

We know your feelings but I doubt anything will happen with you two again.

But if anything is to happen you go on poof in the air on her drop of the face of the earth love her if you must but disappear.

She is choosing whats good for her you need to accept that this is only good sane and will help you in this situation choice only one.

 

Anything else will bring more sorrow don't doubt words of been there done that people and you can do this we know u can ...

 

I understand.. But i'm just afraid that she will choose the other guy over me if i cease contact with her.. This few days she has been replying well to my messages, as if it were the same as before. Will she miss me if i were to start NC without informing her?

 

Also, I start to notice that she has stopped putting me her first priority. EG. in the past, whenever i was free she would put aside time to meet me, now, it seems that her friends, her studies and work comes first.. She often block my calls when i call her now.. In the past, no matter what she is doing, she would answer my call at anytime. I'm feeling really sick inside that she no longer cares. Also, she ignore my messages often and would rather use whatsapp first.. Am i over reacting? I stalk her Whatsapp last seen all the time.. Its stalkerish and I'm not liking myself one bit.

 

I can understand where you are coming from. But she telling me that she still loves me and is merely confused spurred me on to fight for her.. Coupled with the fact that she has yet to meet her current BF.

Even with that current scenario, i should just got NC? If i have to, i would... For our sake...

 

I'm from the same red dot as well. I feel you bro. I was having a really hard time on NC and it's been 28days. She went back to her ex soon after our brkup instead of giving me another chance. I have not delete/block her from FB yet though. Deep down, i'm still hoping her ex is just a rebound and hoping she'd return to me someday while i continue to improve myself and work on my issues.

 

hey bro, stay strong.. Did you initiated NC? What were the reasons for the breakup? Did you consider the factors that caused her first breakup between her and her ex? Don't worry, from what i have learnt from LS, (which i am having much trouble following as well) is that 'If you truly love someone, let them go. If they come back, you would know they are yours forever. If not, then they never were...'

[darry]

hey bro, stay strong.. Did you initiated NC? What were the reasons for the breakup? Did you consider the factors that caused her first breakup between her and her ex? Don't worry, from what i have learnt from LS, (which i am having much trouble following as well) is that 'If you truly love someone, let them go. If they come back, you would know they are yours forever. If not, then they never were...'

 

Yeah i'm on day 28 of NC, we broke up 2 months ago, 1.5 yrs of r/s. Begging, kneeling down, cried and all you can think of for the first 3 weeks after brkup. I have no idea what caused the brkup between her and her ex, i only managed to find out that he was her previous ex long term BF before me. Our brkup partly because of my bad temper and poor anger management. Saying harsh words that i don't mean to when i'm mad which i deeply regret as soon as i calm down. And i've been getting too comfortable in the r/s, took her granted without realizing it until she left me. Asked for another chance and she said the feelings is lost. The fact that she got back together with her ex soon after our brkup makes me think twice and wonder if she has been doing something behind me when we were still together.