Jump to content

Life ends at 45!


Recommended Posts

  • Author

Hi again, Tayla. Here's the parts I reacted to:

Start with a fresh mindset. One being that being single and Independent is not a negative. Its your foundation. Secondly refrain from dwelling on that part of your life, it will happen in due time.

I'm just very familiar with the refrain that "when you least expect it, good things happen". The others here echoed the same sentiment, so I'm not picking on you specifically.

That has happened pretty much zero times in the last half of my life. Anything I want in life, I have always had to go after it with both hands and linebacker my way through the obstacles. And yes, it gets just tiring as hell. But nothing you can do about that...

 

SpringBaby, you started out pretty encouraging, but dunno what I said regarding the last line about O.L.D. :confused: I appreciate the kind words!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle

I jumped back in the dating pool when I was 41 after I had been with my ex for nearly 20 years. Considering that OLD didn't even exist the last time I was single, it was an eye opening experience both good and bad.

 

I did the OLD thing if only because it was the easiest way for me to meet men given my busy career and parenting commitments. To say that I missed the days when men and women met organically would be an understatement but c'est la vie!

 

I'm not saying I haven't met and dated some wonderful men but the whole online genre is without a doubt very shallow and superficial at it's core. I mean, it's all about your physical appearance straight off. Then if you're lucky enough to grab someone's attention with your carefully selected profile pic, the pressure is on to string together a stream of perfectly constructed sentences that somehow encapsulates who you are and what you want in just 180 characters or less.

 

Now add to that the realization that OLD is a glorified form of window shopping for adults and for many (men especially) it's more like a candy buffet amped up on steroids from Alice in Wonderland; just when they think they've found their favorite piece of candy, they see another bigger, sweeter one out of the corner of their eye! Competition is fierce and it can be a very humbling experience for anyone that used have no problems with getting attention from the opposite sex (which was my case). It's one thing to capture someone's attention and whole another thing to hold on to it particularly online where there is a plethora of distractions and temptations just a click away.

 

I know that sounds pretty cynical and perhaps in some ways it is but I really did meet some great men and made some good friends BUT only AFTER I learned a few things including how to play the game...and OLD can feel like a game sometimes (can't ever forget the wackadoos!!).

 

Eventually, I learned how to survive with my dignity still intact. And most importantly, I learned a lot about myself during this process (which is always a good thing). I also realized I had to have a sense of humor about the whole online thing otherwise it could be very frustrating and sometimes discouraging and who needs to feel that at our age, right? ;)

 

On a side note, there is something to be said for relaxing when it comes to finding "the one". I met my current partner very unexpectedly and at a time when I made a decision to take a break from OLD and dating in general to concentrate on other things in my life. We started out as friends and it soon blossomed into something magnificent. I'm a very happy girl these days :)

 

Moral of the story? Find the humor in the experience. Take everything with a grain of salt and have fun with it. Remain discerning. Don't get discouraged because there will always be someone else who thinks they have it harder than you. And above all else...RELAX!

 

Good luck!

Edited by Michelle ma Belle
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thank you for that, Michelle. Although judging from your pic, it's no surprise you weren't single long. (You saw my pic? Enough said.)

I'd say the same for Aussie and Spring just TBF...

Link to post
Share on other sites
You just answered your own question here, just because you have no success doesn't mean everyone at 45+ (men) are doomed to also be out of luck. If anything, I would imagine women have it harder at 45+. The main things that help a man in getting dates is the same, no matter what the age. Confidence, being healthy, and having control in their life in being self sufficient, aka not living in mom's basement or with 20 roommates (not saying this is you, just giving examples).

I totally disagree with this post. Lets start with confidence. There are plenty of men that do drugs that have zero confidence and these winners have no problem getting women. In face I have never seen one single. most are married. NEXT.. Self efficient. I know plenty of men that have no drivers license or no job. They could not keep a job if their life depended on it. And guess what? these winners have women on them like bees on honey. Oh about moms basement. There are plenty of women that will support these men. I mean lets get real here. When was the last time you hear a scum bag complain he cannot get a woman. I can not speak for you. but I have never hear these winners complain. There is no reason to. Women chase down these winners. the ones I hear complaining are the god guys

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thanks, Mr. Nova, (trying to get back on topic) those examples are universally guys out of college/high school. Because that's what women universally want. So the unending scroll of standards men my age have to live up to don't apply to them, because they're young and hot.

Link to post
Share on other sites
No it's not.

 

Life ends when you give up dreaming and accept things as they are!

 

Damn all this time, I thought life ends when we die. :confused:

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...