316 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Haven't been on this site in a while but I thought I'd just inject some much needed positivity on this board. People really weren't kidding when they said heartbreak does indeed heal overtime... From an emotional standpoint when I look back at where I was a little over a year ago I feel this great sense of pride knowing that I've come a long way. Recovering from heartbreak is like going on this really intense roller coaster ride... One day you're extremely down and question if you'll even make it to the next week, then the next day you realize "ok I can do this" and feel motivated to move on, then you get knocked back down again, and the cycle continues on and on. The cycle will almost always be there in some shape or form, but as time goes on I noticed the "downs" were getting more and more tolerable. I used to get depressed thinking about her 24/7 for weeks on end, and now I'm at the point where she only pops up in my mind about 5-10 minutes every other day, plus I'm finally at the point where I can think about her and not feel any pain (sometimes even happiness when I remember the good times). Eventually I know I'll barely even think about her at all, but when I do I'm only going to remember the good times... Even though she wasn't "the one" that relationship made me the man I am today and I'll always be thankful for it. Some people recover faster/slower than others, but the thing I want emphasize is that you WILL recover. There IS indeed a light at the end of the tunnel. Just take things day by day, week by week, and slowly but surely the sting won't be nearly as severe anymore as long as you're committed to WORKING ON YOURSELF. Keep you heads up everyone! Here's to a better tomorrow! 7
Itspointless Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Yeah man it really is true. Time makes the sharp edges go away. Next time you know it will get better eventually. It just sucks when you are sucked into the void again. Although we can always hope for that one person that really is for the stay. That takes a lot of luck as sometimes it has nothing to do with love but circumstances. Although I sometimes wonder why others seem to have more luck with that Perhaps they know better how to act. 1
picnicinthepark Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Thank you for this. I'm over 2 months post BU of an almost 5 year RS. I'm currently on this "roller coaster" without a seatbelt and it's comforting and reassuring that one day I will be better and stronger. I also remember the good times and am genuinely grateful for them. She was such an important part of my life, and like you said, I am the person I am today because of her. Have the best life guys! 2
SadNLonley Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 I have finally hit the point of feeling better as well. Its been a couple weeks now that I noticed I am feeling better. We broke up 9 months ago and went nc 4 months ago. I honestly didnt think I was going to make it through the depression brought on by the breakup. I was so depressed it was scary at times. Luckily, i took itty bitty baby steps, sought therapy, got on meds and dealt with each day as they came. About 5 weeks ago I started listening to positive affirmations online through headphones to help me in building up my self worth and self esteem that was completely lost with the bu. I think they have actually helped me in healing. I realized that I havent really cried in a couple weeks, Im starting to see positivity again, and I am able to think of my ex with happy thoughts. I can actually maybe possibly think about dating again. Im not actually looking, but I may not reject it if it fell in my lap either. Its a great feeling NOT to be so sad all the time. I feel like Ive come such a long way from where I was 4 months ago. Do I miss him and wish we were together? Everyday, but if its meant to be, it will be. I have to let everything just fall into place. Same thing with meeting someone else... Im just hoping it will happen without desperate search. For the time being, I will continue to work on myself and finding happiness again. One day at a time. 1
Snow101 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Right now I'm so deep in the hole I can't see it getting better. I hope you are all right. Hell, I've been hurt before, I oughta know it gets better. I just never knew such pain or despair, like this time. This time I thought I had it all covered... I was so sure... And I know I'm lengthening the time I'm in the pit, because deep down I don't want to accept that she isn't coming back and that she doesn't love me, and she is going to be with another man and hes not going to be me. Her loss? Maybe..but instead it feels like all my loss. She will be moved on and happy with some dirtball that treats her like crap, while I'm still struggling to get out of bed. It seems like she is the one that gets to leave the relationship with no damage while I've gone straight to rock bottom. 3
Itspointless Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 I hope you are all right. Hell, I've been hurt before, I oughta know it gets better. I just never knew such pain or despair, like this time. If there is one thing I am sure of it is this. Not saying that you wont be missing her even years after this, but it will be different. This weeks I realized that this month or perhaps it was february it is 20 years ago we heard the official diagnosis of the illness of my mother. Well a long story short, after that she suffered 4.5 years and died before I was 20. I have been depressed with all the hard memories and the loss for many years. Sometimes it still makes me grief, but most of the time it just is a fact. Although sometimes I am faced with unprocessed parts. You will learn to live again. 1
michele4 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Right now I'm so deep in the hole I can't see it getting better. I hope you are all right. Hell, I've been hurt before, I oughta know it gets better. I just never knew such pain or despair, like this time. This time I thought I had it all covered... I was so sure... And I know I'm lengthening the time I'm in the pit, because deep down I don't want to accept that she isn't coming back and that she doesn't love me, and she is going to be with another man and hes not going to be me. Her loss? Maybe..but instead it feels like all my loss. She will be moved on and happy with some dirtball that treats her like crap, while I'm still struggling to get out of bed. It seems like she is the one that gets to leave the relationship with no damage while I've gone straight to rock bottom. I feel the exact same way. I was with him for 6 years (marriedfor half of it)and he suddenly left me. I moved to a city where I knew few people so I could be with family and now I'm dealing with anxiety every time I leave my house because he had bad mouthed me for months behind my back to his friends that live here. I feel so alone and don't know how to climb out of this and start over from scratch. I'm terrified of having to start over and meet new people when all I can think about is him and how much better he is doing
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